Strengthen, don’t strain.
When I first started yoga, I was so in a hurry to to do the full split, head stand, and all the complex poses that would finally lead to my full body flexibility in a very short period, however, what I didn’t realize is, that’s not how it works.
At every practise, my YouTube instructor would say, “and if you feel like your body is starting to resist, then withdraw. The goal is to strengthen, and not strain”, meaning that gradually and with constant practise, the muscles would eventually be able to stretch to the extent that I want it to without pains, and I’ll be the happiest when that happens.
This is the case with the journey of friendships in life. Sometimes, a lot of people tend to stretch their friends beyond what they can take, and then when the friendship finally ends because of their carelessness, they feel the pain of losing such a wonderful soul, and then try to make amends. However, it would be too late by the time they realize it.
I am currently trying to rekindle a ship that is almost drowning. It is a ship of friends.
I admire friendships a lot. When I see friends making moves together, flaunting one another online and offline, I feel so good. It’s such a reminder that we need people to be able to survive this world, however, many people tend to not take it as such.
The case I’m currently on is a matter of lack of respect from one of the friends, and the other friend, (let’s call her Dee) is already at her limit. She couldn’t take any more disrespect and non-chalance from her friend, so she’s gradually removing herself from the picture. Actually, she has mentally withdrawn from the relationship.
However, the other friend, Tee on realizing that she’s about to lose the next best person to her after her parents doesn’t want her to go, and that’s the reason we are here.
Deciding to become friends with people would mean that you found a desired trait in them, and you really want them in your life. But, one thing you should not do is treat people like trash because you think they are your friend and wouldn’t ever live because you’ll be shocked.
I’m begging Dee on behalf of her friend and trying to talk to her to give Tee one more chance even though I know that except Tee is willing to put in an extra effort so that Dee would be logged back into the relationship, it probably would be a futile effort.
I resumed working out this morning after a long break, and today, I chose to strain rather than strengthen. The pain I feel in my shoulders right now is not quantifiable, I sprained my wrists, and the effect is another long break until it heals.
Just like I sprained my wrist, Tee already strained her relationship with Dee, and it’ll require a lot of efforts from her to be able to get and retain Dee back as her friend.
In friendships, there should be trust, communication, and importantly, respect. When you treat your friends like they do not matter and you think they won’t leave, it’s only a matter of time that they’ll find out that you are their friend because you can easily toss them around, be rude to them, and then they'll realize that you don't deserve them and then you'll be left alone.
Friendship is peace when you dish out exactly what you can take. No one is indispensable, it’s true. But the indispensability of some people lies in how long it’ll take you to find someone like them, which nature may never bring your way. So, cherish your friends, especially the good ones.
Images are mine.
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This is so heartwarming, the post I mean. Friendship especially when you find the right people, is an invaluable asset. It does not erode with time and it continues to bloom even under dark times. I really hope Dee and Tee become friends again.
I really hope my effort to fix the ship yields a good result. I'm glad you enjoyed reading.
Some people abuse the affection and sincere trust given to them. Respect is one of the pillars of friendship. It is important to be sincere with friends, but also empathetic. I hope things get better, but I, like your friend would have walked away from someone who does not respect and value me.