RE: I'm So Excited I'm Wearing A Condom Right Now

avatar
(Edited)

You are viewing a single comment's thread:

HAHAHA!!! Hell yeah!!!!

Sorry for the delay, I swear I reblogged it when I saw it come out and spent the entire weekend anxiously waiting for Monday so I could sit down and actually read it - and after my wait, not disappointed!!!!

Item 1: The Look

Every time I see a photo of you I'm shocked by how classy you look. Not because you don't write like a man of class because you do lol - but more because of your association with a f*ckin' crazy old panhandler like me 🤣🤣

Anyway, you seem to have that kind of classy detective vibe going on...makes me wanna class it up a bit myself, though I'm not sure I have the moxy needed to keep it up. Well done though man, quite impressive indeed. oh sorry, I meant !INDEED .


credit

Item 2: Nailed It!

After reading through the comments, I get the feeling this must have been inspired by something bigger that went down recently on-chain? No matter, I'm comfy under my newspapers now, and the warmth rising from the street vents is lulling me off to sleep.

...I play a decent homeless guy...you think people would still be putting bread in my jar if they knew I was worth 26 IDD and 11 Starbits? Doubtful. With public wallets, it's just as important as it is impossible to conceal one's net worth...which is why I play down my appearance like I do...

Yesterday I tried to use some FOODIE to get a muffin. I almost flew off the handle when they told me: Your money's no good here - FOODIE...worthless??? You're off your Gddamn rocker!* I exclaimed. My layer 2 tokens are not only just as good as cash, they're BETTER!!!

OK, perhaps I actually DID fly off the handle. But it cooled off quickly.

The baker, terrified, stammered through his correction. What I mean is, when a High FLUTIN' celebrity like @albuslucimus shows up in our bakery, we are humbled and grateful for the opportunity to provide your muffins at no cost.

That's what it looks like when the baker is hooked on dolphin d-ck.

Anyway I've got 10 QUEER and 4 DIY that have gone up in value, and lately I've been thinking about buying my own island so I can dress classy to match my high class personality - away from the prying eyes of my many benefactors.

I called up my buddy Johhny P.
(Obviously you would already know I'm talking about John Pierpont JP motherf-ckin' Morgan)...

Now there is a face you can trust, by the way:

credit


...I told him I was transferring 10 QUEER and 4 DIY and he tried to pull the same sh-t as the baker with the whole You're money's no good here bit - I took him by the throat (via text message) and said listen here you sonofabitch, I'm not goin' to jail for you, or anybody!
...He knows what he did. And by the by, let it now be known to the world that I don't take my layer 2 tokens lightly. You can bet your !ASS on that.

Long story short (whaddya mean, it's too late?), I've been debating also moving my island over near 'boom. Of course, I wasn't invited per se, but then again, waiting on invitations hasn't typically been my strong suit...so @meesterboom, if a new island appears nearby, and from it you hear the radiating tones of horny viking flutes and flashy parties funded entirely with !PIMP, !SEX and !PEPE tokens, you'll know it's me...just message me in the comments if things get too loud.

Item 3: Let's Get Serious Folks

Just kidding, I'm not gonna do that exactly. I just wanted to step out of my happy funtime fiction-space to say in earnest, just how much I enjoyed this story of yours. It would have been a ridiculously fun way to start the week even if I hadn't been featured as the horny viking flute playing homeless guy...but that addition took me over the f-ckin' moon! (Which, by the way, as I was flying over, I saw a real-estate sign staked like some LEO on the surface that said "SOLD"...so I checked it out on Zillow after I landed, and it looks like the ol' Boomster cashed out his POB and bought it...so now I'll have to make my island fly if I wanna get next to him...looks like I'll be cashing out my LUV and HUGS now too...

0
0
0.000
8 comments
avatar

If you collect enough hive engine tokens you can actually make a floating island out of them. I've you figure out how to get them off chain that is 🤣🤣

0
0
0.000
Reply
avatar

Where do have that ranked on the entertaining comment chart, top 3, top 10? Chart leader?

0
0
0.000
Reply
avatar

In the lowly twenties, it's hard to break higher without the swears

0
0
0.000
Reply
avatar

That was so distracting I almost lost her..

IMG_9196.jpeg

Distracting / Entertaining, same thing.

I'll be back to respond properly.

0
0
0.000
Reply
avatar

LOL

0
0
0.000
Reply
avatar
(Edited)

Dear Albus or Rory or whoever you are this week:

If there's a badge for gangsterest comment, you're a shoe-in. I have time to respond properly, finally. Whaddup man, iHeart costume parties. Gimme a half ass excuse to rock a suit and Ima be best dressed there.

No need to apologize. You have my eternal permission to put real life stuff ahead of anything me. I don't bring my feeling here anyway, it's all good.

You know you can bookmark these things, right? I see you reblog regularly. If it's to index, try bookmark, you might like it.

I didn't say homeless. I said panhandler.

You sure do censor your $hit a lot, the fux that about?

Not even almost the same—panhandler / homeless—totally different. I'm kinda surprised you made that correlation.

I know JP! I gave him that name. He used to be PP on the street for obvious reasons. One night, I scored a pair of JT goggles with night vision and we snuck up to the top of Salesforce in The City. Can see all the way to Marin County from the top of Salesforce. He was so impressed, thought he could see the world, ran home and changed his name from PP to JP.

Like the goggles.

I can never trust Zillow. I've tried, I check it out from time to time. Just seems Redfin and Trulia are more accurate.

Panhandler! I said panhandler!!

Cheers dude.

0
0
0.000
Reply
avatar

...You always know you're special if I copy your comment over to Notepad to develop a response.

Of course, you have no way of knowing when this happens, so this is me telling you it happened.

Dear Albus or Rory or whoever you are this week:

I'm always both, never neither, and often something entirely in between...Either is always fine. I like the personal touch that comes with Rory, but then I do enjoy going by Albus. Six of one half a dozen or whatever I guess. But this is neither meat nor potatoes, so I've lingered too long already.


If there's a badge for gangsterest comment, you're a shoe-in. I have time to respond properly, finally. Whaddup man, iHeart costume parties. Gimme a half ass excuse to rock a suit and Ima be best dressed there.

Oh Hell Yeah Dude! I'd put that badge on the front of my profile page...that's one sick ass endorsement. Funny fact, it's actually *shoo in* (as in the sound that people use to make animals go away?) It came from the 1920's in American horse racing. It was like saying how you'd shoo chickens into a coop, this horse was such a guarantee to win he's just being shoo'd in.


credit

Wait, so...you're saying you don't normally look like that? I honestly can't fathom a dressed down casual version of Mr. Days; in my mind you are always dressed to the fuckin' nines (new song lyric? I gotta start collecting these somewhere...).


No need to apologize. You have my eternal permission to put real life stuff ahead of anything me. I don't bring my feeling here anyway, it's all good.

I appreciate that - And likewise of course. I am going to make it a goal to apologize less this year. Not to be more of an asshole, but to eliminate the ones that probably don't need to be issued in the first place...more house cleaning.


You know you can bookmark these things, right? I see you reblog regularly. If it's to index, try bookmark, you might like it.

Yeah, I actually like the bookmarks a lot! The way I've been doing it is, if I want to read it later or I want to help share it with a larger audience - and if I'm interested but I don't necessarily want to vouch for the material (i.e. it's inappropriate or suggestive, or it's politically charged or divisive, or it's someone ranting about how they hate Hive and I want to come back later and argue with them for kicks.


I didn't say homeless. I said panhandler.

This one comes up a few times so I'll just address it later 😁


You sure do censor your $hit a lot, the fux that about?

I'm glad you said something. I wasn't sure what's the preference on Hive, and not wanting to put a mark on my back I've tended to tread lightly. I guess they do say it's censor-proof social media, so why self-censor - especially with the small stuff like shits and fucks! Unpopular or offensive opinions I will continue to hold back because they just aren't the focal point of my work, but I guess from here on out I can stream a flow of asses and shits and fucks, which I tend to do in real life so that's good.


Not even almost the same—panhandler / homeless—totally different. I'm kinda surprised you made that correlation.

Nope, still not touching this one!


I know JP! I gave him that name. He used to be PP on the street for obvious reasons. One night, I scored a pair of JT goggles with night vision and we snuck up to the top of Salesforce in The City. Can see all the way to Marin County from the top of Salesforce. He was so impressed, thought he could see the world, ran home and changed his name from PP to JP.

Like the goggles.

Ah yes, the once infamous *Lil PP*! I remember him raving about this at a trash panda party I threw a while back. He was using his new JT goggles as a conversation starter and segueing every conversation over to how he'd gone from PP, to JP, to JP with JT's, and how it all began with a cheeky rooftop sneak-event, a stunning view of Marin County, and a classy detective type dude who both was and was not named Dan...I obviously put 2 and 2 together in the moment, but I let him keep the air of intrigue - I'm not a total dick afterall...


I can never trust Zillow. I've tried, I check it out from time to time. Just seems Redfin and Trulia are more accurate.

Yeah fuck 'em! LOL for that one I actually had to google "online real estate" or something to that effect...should've remembered Redfin, I've used them for a couple sales and purchases at this point.


Panhandler! I said panhandler!!

Ok HAHAHA I can't put this off anymore. I have to shamefully admit that I had not really considered the difference. I can however, confidently confess that I am not likely ever again to forget this critical distinction!


Cheers dude.

Cheers indeed my friend, always a pleasure!
0
0
0.000
Reply