I'm So Excited I'm Wearing A Condom Right Now
Hello. Yes, you. Hi, I'm real.
I mean, I'm Not 1mportant, don't get it twisted, but totally real like debt. D and A, I'm them as well and, Not The Bad, yet another me. I got more aliases than secrets in Vatican City but bet your ass I'm real.
Layer 1—content and consumers collide. Layer 2, 3, 4, sometimes 5, and 6-13, however, are all totally real like home furnishings and that's where I am.
On your loveseat.
We're watching Kill Tony.
Together.
I don't appreciate taking off my shoe prior to joining you, by the way, I got one leg for fucks sake, why else would I spell shoe with no S and, she's hot, please turn up the A/C.
To prove how real all this is so you'll stop questioning blind support, bots, power downs and stakeholders, I went down to the bank yesterday to qualify for a loan so I can purchase a small island off the coast of Argentina—10 million bucks. I just traded all my #POB tokens for a freight-liner equipped with a submersible helicopter and a salamander nursery a couple weeks ago so I'm a little short on cash.
Welcome back, Dan!
Whaddup, Merril, how's the fam?
(Me and Merril Lynch are cool like that)
Sweet as a lime, Dan, what brings you here today?
There's an island in the South Atlantic I wanna move to @meesterboom's place in Motherwell.
I heard about that purchase—traded all his CCC stake for it. What, then, transport the island to Scotland?
Yeah, Uber. Their recent update includes island hopping.
How much you thinking?
Meh, a couple mil, maybe like four. Four or five million, that way I can pay the Uber driver, too.
Understood, $5 million, and which of your virtual stakes will you be using as collateral?
#Hive. I got 57 something in HP and about four grand in HBD.
Deal! Your virtual stake's good here, Dan, hang tight right quick and I'll go fetch your Benjamin's.
Merril returned a couple minutes later with a buncha $100 bills. I shoved it in my backpack, didn't count it—waste of time like negotiating bathroom counter space with my wife. After counting all my virtual stake by hand, I can eyeball $5 mil down to the penny anyway.
Stepped out, hopped in a horse and buggy cuz Uber has Amish drivers now, too, and dropped a $100 bill in the panhandlers tip-jar, he's blowing a flute. I think it's a flute—weird looking Viking horn thing in his mouth that sounds like a flute and dude went:
Hey, I know you, you're not Dan!
I was like, @albuslucimus, whaddup man? I shoulda known that horny thing was yours.
He passed me a $100 bill.
Keep it, that's yours!
If fell out of your backpack and you're about to lose more.
I took off my backpack and adjusted my stack, they don't make'em like they used to. Back in the day, $5 mil was nothing for a backpack.
Yeah, I was a little short on cash and found an island in the South Atlantic Uber's gonna move to Boomy's place for me, so I stopped by Merril's and got loaded on green.
No way! Plan on doing any phishing?? I got a shit ton of PORN tokens.
Genius! Porn's only the best bait ever. C'mon, get in. We'll stop by Bass Pro Shops and grab a boat, they accept #LEO tokens now.
Asheville - Argentina - Uber to Scotland - panhandler - tip the panhandler - boat, bait, and a small lake and, not once, did a single one of us reach in our only wallet that actually matters in the real world.
𝓣𝓱𝓮 𝓔𝓷𝓭
What'd you think this was, another virtual stranger throwing weight around to persuade your Monopoly money endeavors?
Monopoly money might get you from here to there, enjoy the ride!
Things are looking up. Just the other day, the barista said they accept #foodie tokens.
Lucky you, nothing like that on our shores yet....?
Careful, you can almost see your face in one of those shots
That's my crab hand, dude, seriously, see the claw? Haven't done any crabbing since I lost use of my hand but refuse to give up!
I had to look up crabbing. Lol
Never give up!
That's why I linked it. There's probably several uses for that word, I can think of a couple off the cuff right now actually, figured I better link it or who knows what Leaky might think I'm into. Lol.
Damn, I forgot about my POB. I'm cashing out in and buying the moon itself. Maybe trade in some of my LUV and WINE tokens to build a bridge between Scotland and the moon.
Great stuff man, life's looking up!
Look into #BUIDL. I just found out the other day you get 2 for 1 bridges with'em.
Glad you enjoyed, thanks. It was either this or go tf off in all those comment sections the past week but kinda got chased out every time I did so...
!LUV
!BEER
!CHRONIC
(lemme know if that last one works)
@meesterboom, @dandays(1/1) sent you LUV. | tools | discord | community | HiveWiki | <>< daily
I love bridges. That's the sole reason I entered into this game.
!CHRONIC never heard of it!
You caught me hook line and sinker with that title @dandays.
Poor Merrill, I had to Google her, I see there is a Merrill Lynch South Africa.
You have a wicked sense of humour @dandays!
...and...that final tag is classic!
Never can be too safe, you know?
Glad to know I got contacts in South Africa. I'd hate to go down there and find out the #VYB ATM's out of order.
Thank you, @lizelle. Big huge smooches from D and A.
<3
🥲
I know it's all a joke, but it reminded me of 2021 when POB tokens were the bomb! Some other Layer 2s were the bomb too.
Damn, the future was looking so bright. Hopefully the way the future looks don't have shit to do with how the future would turn out, and even though things are looking bleak now it would turn out to be great I'm future 🥲.
Joke, is that all I am to you?
Whaddup, Nevies! Couldn't help it. Over the past week'ish I've seen too many prominent authors acting like all this shit's real. I mean, look, I'm not even there. You're repeating words on a screen.
So many things in real life to get excited about and they'd rather do it here amongst a buncha faceless handles that are gone one day to the next.
Hahaha. I feel you, though. I get the main point you're trying to pass. 😅
I was just SURE you meant a condom catheter from the title.....and I was waiting for THAT story.
It is ! It's a thing ! LOL
I'll be waiting on the posts you do as your move takes place. Although, I'm not too sure one country can handle the both of you at the same time.
#😂
Amish Uber.... nope... never entertained that idea, but it DID make me laugh.
Hello, Jacey. I only wear those on moon missions now, toilets on the space shuttle are a little cramped..
Exciting way to travel, Uber's good at keeping with the times. Don't have to stop or roll down the windows or anything for pictures, that's nice. I don't recommended it with a headache though.
LOL ! They would definitely be good for moon missions.
I can imagine those carriages are pretty great as long as the horses haven't been eating anything to gassy. ha ha
Funny. I laughed out loud. If I end up doing another one about how Amish Uber drivers should put the carriages in front of the horse, I'll make sure to #tag you.
I bet that's a thing! I can see the invention now. the cart on the front, with a frame the horses are hooked into on the back. All good if you are just going straight.... or maybe have a steering wheel.... go ahead, invent it !
Yeah.... make sure and tag me when you post that. ;)
I have POB, can I buy a Greek island for myself and get out of this hell? 😁
(Dan, you really have personality!)
Oh hell yeah. I love Greece. Just remember it's Europe, pack lightly.... = }
Thank you. Hashtag NoJoke. That virtual pressure on your cheek was me.
Cool 😁
👋
I filmed that one night en route to Stucky—where we'd volunteer twice a week at the refugee camp during our month in Greece.
I swear when I got there, there was only like 20 people and a few drummers but they just kept coming. Drums and more drums, groups of drummers, people from every direction.
Helluva experience.
And noisy 😁
(but I appreciate the colours of the sky and that sea)
Trick phone. It was actually night time, down pouring rain in the middle of a thunder storm but didn't want viewers to get distracted so I edited the sky like Epstein's flight log.
Is it still Greece? Or is it also edited hahaha...😅 - 😜
Yeah, it's really Greece. Trippin out on the dates though, can't believe it's been five years already.
That whole paragraph is real. I was totally kidding about the camera, it's pretty boring, all it does is capture time.
I know, I just played along... I just laugh a lot at the things you say. 😅
Imagine if jokes were all the headlines. Tune into such n such noose (what I call news) station but you gotta answer a knock-knock joke to get in. Everything Ukraine, Israel, and the multitude of nations warring right now are all pay-per read and tough to find like Diddy.
Knock knock..
In such a world there would be no wars
Knock knock
Hi. It's me, I'm outta character. Before I go back, I wanted to say thanks. I was outside blowing and, what I mean by that is, blowing leaves and kept thinking of your personality compliment. There's been a comment or article here and there I don't forget, I'm putting that one on top.
Sorry I don't get around as much as I'd like. I do think about you and a few others often and hope everything's going the way it's supposed to. Real life stuff just comes first is all.
Alright, these things ain't gonna blow themselves. <3
Well, I just say what is in my heart. And my heart is from real life.
Take care of yourself... and thanks to you. By the way, that youtube channel is good, I like it to practice my English with the lyrics.
Will do. Your written English is a lot better than a lot of native English I've seen here.
Is it taught throughout school there? Cuba, is that where you did all your schooling or something else? Is this too many questions?
😃 No way hahaha...
It is taught in school here. I think more and better now. In my time it wasn't like it is now. You're talking to an old woman, remember?
And yes, I have only lived in Cuba. I was brought here when I was three months old from Kiev, former Soviet Union.
No, not many questions, really hahaha.
Hey. What's going on with your hive engine transactions?
Just some basic future financial jargon; college, retirement, medical emergencies, et cetera, eh?
Edit: Yeah, you caught me..
I was curious where this post would lead to reading the title.. As always, it was not what I expected, but better, lol.
So much talk about all this stuff going on, it was nice to read this funny post about the topic for a change. Dandays never dissapoints, right?
Hope you and the ladies are good! Any improvement on the hand?
That being said, my back aches ran out some weeks ago. It's just a sporadic bit of doing too much and then paying the price but off meds fully, so happy!
Wishing you a good rest of the weekend !LUV
@dandays, @thisismylife(1/10) sent you LUV. | tools | discord | community | HiveWiki | <>< daily
That title's ridiculous huh? Looking at it now like, if I slipped at the mailbox, banged my head, got amnesia and forgot about this place.. Probably not the best way to leave it. = }
Thanks, hi, I'm glad I'm not the only one. I saw all those posts hit the feed around the same time like, what the actual fuck is all this?! Who on this platform would dare think to say something to grocery store A, cashier, when she takes her earnings and spends it at grocery store B because it's none of their business, but it's acceptable to preach the same concept here, to virtual strangers.
I don't think it's a good look. I don't like it. Hopefully this resonates a little and everyone just goes back to minding their own virtual financial business.
Knee is great, hand is depressing. Got my thumb back but the index either hasn't healed yet or 25'ish% of what it used to be is all I get which is better than nothing! Saw my surgeon a couple weeks ago, he confirmed there's nothing more we can do so I continue to pray. Was intense this time last year.
I can't squeeze a trigger or anything, strike a lighter with my right hand or draw/paint anymore but I can feed myself again, zip up my own pants, tie my shoes, brush my teeth.. I'll take it!
Sorry about your back. As I type this mine's doing what it does. That nerve, though, any one of them along the spine can cause so much agony when they flare up. Congrats getting off the meds.
This is a lot longer response than I anticipated. We should do this more often.
👍
!BEER
!BBH
!WINE
Cheers Eii, thank you.
View or trade
BEER.Hey @dandays, here is a little bit of
BEERfrom @eii for you. Enjoy it!Learn how to earn FREE BEER each day by staking your
BEER.@dandays! @eii likes your content! so I just sent 1 BBH to your account on behalf of @eii. (2/5)
(html comment removed:
)
I'd say I'm embarrassed for you, not 1mportant to you, if I were you but I'm not, wink
I just noticed you've only commented to me during this Hive life of yours. Typically I'd reek of flattery but I probably know you and you're just wearing a disguise so have fun doing whatever this is.
Twice before knocked on my door so this is only for you.........
One last wink before I take flight forever in a blink
WINK
Hello, you. The Luckiest Guy I Know strikes again.
HAHAHA!!! Hell yeah!!!!
Sorry for the delay, I swear I reblogged it when I saw it come out and spent the entire weekend anxiously waiting for Monday so I could sit down and actually read it - and after my wait, not disappointed!!!!
Item 1: The Look
Every time I see a photo of you I'm shocked by how classy you look. Not because you don't write like a man of class because you do lol - but more because of your association with a f*ckin' crazy old panhandler like me 🤣🤣
Anyway, you seem to have that kind of classy detective vibe going on...makes me wanna class it up a bit myself, though I'm not sure I have the moxy needed to keep it up. Well done though man, quite impressive indeed. oh sorry, I meant !INDEED .
credit
Item 2: Nailed It!
After reading through the comments, I get the feeling this must have been inspired by something bigger that went down recently on-chain? No matter, I'm comfy under my newspapers now, and the warmth rising from the street vents is lulling me off to sleep.
...I play a decent homeless guy...you think people would still be putting bread in my jar if they knew I was worth 26 IDD and 11 Starbits? Doubtful. With public wallets, it's just as important as it is impossible to conceal one's net worth...which is why I play down my appearance like I do...
Yesterday I tried to use some FOODIE to get a muffin. I almost flew off the handle when they told me: Your money's no good here - FOODIE...worthless??? You're off your Gddamn rocker!* I exclaimed. My layer 2 tokens are not only just as good as cash, they're BETTER!!!
OK, perhaps I actually DID fly off the handle. But it cooled off quickly.
The baker, terrified, stammered through his correction. What I mean is, when a High FLUTIN' celebrity like @albuslucimus shows up in our bakery, we are humbled and grateful for the opportunity to provide your muffins at no cost.
Anyway I've got 10 QUEER and 4 DIY that have gone up in value, and lately I've been thinking about buying my own island so I can dress classy to match my high class personality - away from the prying eyes of my many benefactors.
I called up my buddy Johhny P.
(Obviously you would already know I'm talking about John Pierpont JP motherf-ckin' Morgan)...
...I told him I was transferring 10 QUEER and 4 DIY and he tried to pull the same sh-t as the baker with the whole You're money's no good here bit - I took him by the throat (via text message) and said listen here you sonofabitch, I'm not goin' to jail for you, or anybody!
...He knows what he did. And by the by, let it now be known to the world that I don't take my layer 2 tokens lightly. You can bet your !ASS on that.
Long story short (whaddya mean, it's too late?), I've been debating also moving my island over near 'boom. Of course, I wasn't invited per se, but then again, waiting on invitations hasn't typically been my strong suit...so @meesterboom, if a new island appears nearby, and from it you hear the radiating tones of horny viking flutes and flashy parties funded entirely with !PIMP, !SEX and !PEPE tokens, you'll know it's me...just message me in the comments if things get too loud.
Item 3: Let's Get Serious Folks
Just kidding, I'm not gonna do that exactly. I just wanted to step out of my happy funtime fiction-space to say in earnest, just how much I enjoyed this story of yours. It would have been a ridiculously fun way to start the week even if I hadn't been featured as the horny viking flute playing homeless guy...but that addition took me over the f-ckin' moon! (Which, by the way, as I was flying over, I saw a real-estate sign staked like some LEO on the surface that said "SOLD"...so I checked it out on Zillow after I landed, and it looks like the ol' Boomster cashed out his POB and bought it...so now I'll have to make my island fly if I wanna get next to him...looks like I'll be cashing out my LUV and HUGS now too...
If you collect enough hive engine tokens you can actually make a floating island out of them. I've you figure out how to get them off chain that is 🤣🤣
Where do have that ranked on the entertaining comment chart, top 3, top 10? Chart leader?
In the lowly twenties, it's hard to break higher without the swears
LOL, Indeed! 😂
Oh sorry… !LOL !INDEED
😅
That was so distracting I almost lost her..
Distracting / Entertaining, same thing.
I'll be back to respond properly.
LOL
Dear Albus or Rory or whoever you are this week:
If there's a badge for gangsterest comment, you're a shoe-in. I have time to respond properly, finally. Whaddup man, iHeart costume parties. Gimme a half ass excuse to rock a suit and Ima be best dressed there.
No need to apologize. You have my eternal permission to put real life stuff ahead of anything me. I don't bring my feeling here anyway, it's all good.
You know you can bookmark these things, right? I see you reblog regularly. If it's to index, try bookmark, you might like it.
I didn't say homeless. I said panhandler.
You sure do censor your $hit a lot, the fux that about?
Not even almost the same—panhandler / homeless—totally different. I'm kinda surprised you made that correlation.
I know JP! I gave him that name. He used to be PP on the street for obvious reasons. One night, I scored a pair of JT goggles with night vision and we snuck up to the top of Salesforce in The City. Can see all the way to Marin County from the top of Salesforce. He was so impressed, thought he could see the world, ran home and changed his name from PP to JP.
Like the goggles.
I can never trust Zillow. I've tried, I check it out from time to time. Just seems Redfin and Trulia are more accurate.
Panhandler! I said panhandler!!
Cheers dude.
...You always know you're special if I copy your comment over to Notepad to develop a response.
Of course, you have no way of knowing when this happens, so this is me telling you it happened.
Dear Albus or Rory or whoever you are this week:
If there's a badge for gangsterest comment, you're a shoe-in. I have time to respond properly, finally. Whaddup man, iHeart costume parties. Gimme a half ass excuse to rock a suit and Ima be best dressed there.
credit
No need to apologize. You have my eternal permission to put real life stuff ahead of anything me. I don't bring my feeling here anyway, it's all good.
You know you can bookmark these things, right? I see you reblog regularly. If it's to index, try bookmark, you might like it.
I didn't say homeless. I said panhandler.
You sure do censor your $hit a lot, the fux that about?
Not even almost the same—panhandler / homeless—totally different. I'm kinda surprised you made that correlation.
I know JP! I gave him that name. He used to be PP on the street for obvious reasons. One night, I scored a pair of JT goggles with night vision and we snuck up to the top of Salesforce in The City. Can see all the way to Marin County from the top of Salesforce. He was so impressed, thought he could see the world, ran home and changed his name from PP to JP.
Like the goggles.
I can never trust Zillow. I've tried, I check it out from time to time. Just seems Redfin and Trulia are more accurate.
Panhandler! I said panhandler!!
Cheers dude.
@albuslucimus, sorry! You need more $IDD to use this command.
The minimum requirement is 50.0 IDD balance.
More $IDD is available from Hive-Engine or Tribaldex