Playtime! A Lost Art in Education?
I remember growing up as a child before the electronics and virtual world took over. We went outside, we found our friends, and we PLAYED OUTSIDE until our curfew. When we became bored we used our imagination and invented new games. We got into trouble occasionally and we learned how to get out of it. And just as important we learned how to take our punishment and what having consequences for our actions meant. We learned how to take turns and how to share, and even learned the hard-knock lessons about bullying and tattletales and hurt feelings.
These days kids are involved in school and most activities even outside of school are adult supervised. Little Leagues, YMCA programs, school-sponsored sports are all directed and controlled by adults. Parents have more fear for their kids' safety and as a result, a child's opportunities to play and socialize in their own ways are limited. Real-life social skills learning is just as important as classroom education.
Since the decline in playtime over the generations there has been a rise in mental health issues in young people. Since the 1950s there has been an eight times frequency rate increase for anxiety disorders and major depression and the suicide rate for children under age 15has quadrupled.
Children need friends, playmates, to develop and hone their social skills. Whether in a group or just one-on-one play they learn things that you don't learn in a school setting where every move is in a structured environment.
Two things become prevalent in kids who aren't allowed real social interaction with their peers. One is a decline in empathy, which is their ability to have feelings for another person's point of view and emotions. The counterpart to that is a rise in narcissism, which means an inflated sense of self-importance and a lack of concerns for others.
To be happy and successful in life you need to know how to get along with others. Social playing is the ultimate environment for learning those skills. When kids play together, without the direction or interference of adults, the interaction is voluntary.
Every child knows that the goal is to keep the game going and have fun. And they know that everyone has to keep having fun or the players will simply quit. So social play involves compromise and negotiations to keep everyone in the game. Even a simple age-old game like hide-and-seek leads to these social negotiations. They have to decide the basics such as who is "it", what is "base", what is the time limit for the count-down, what are the boundaries. In school or other-directed settings, these kinds of decisions are made by adults. In play, the kids have to decide these things for themselves. They get to practice being the adult.
If kids don't have the chance to learn and practice these skills for themselves they grow up with the expectation that someone else will make their decisions and solve their problems. Playtime also fosters creativity. Even if a child is playing alone, there is a need for that time to dream and grow and expand their imagination.
Children that experience anger in play learn that to have others continue to play with them they must learn to control that anger. While parents are obligated to deal with tantrums, playmates won't - they will leave you writhing in the dirt and continue on without you.
In conclusion, the skills that children learn in social playtime are the same ones that are essential in grown-up life. In recent decades we have seen that the downtrend of playtime has had a detrimental effect on the mental health and happiness of our young people. I believe we need to encourage more social playtime and less self-centered virtual world activity.
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There’s so much truth here. While I don’t think the rules and parenting methods were quite so perfect when you and I were children (and I think in some ways parenting has really improved overall), kids do need play, and they need all of those great opportunities you described for learning to negotiate, share and control tempers. I love the pairings you described around the very needed activities of childhood and how those impact a person’s mental health and ability to cope with the challenges life sends our way!
Thanks for that great comment. Yes, there've been improvements, just in the amount of knowledge that has been learned - and the world is certainly a different place now. I used to walk 6 blocks home from school by myself at 6 years old - can you imagine letting your child do that today? But there has to be some kind of compromise to let them learn some things through experience.
Totally agree. Yes, same here, regarding early independence. We walked to school and back. And I actually walked about a mile and a half to my ballet class when I was little, and I had to cross a busy street with no crosswalk. Can you believe it? And that’s after I was hit by a truck and nearly died at the age of 2!
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OMG you were hit by a truck and almost died?? You're very lucky to have survived that at 2! I'm so glad you're okay.
That’s much nicer than what my friends usually say, which is “that explains a lot!” 😆
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Totally true.
Though, there is a social aspect in the computer time I didn’t have. For me, it was games and instant messages (icq!) and forums as the extent of the social interaction. Now, they gather on discord and play and sing and joke
Still, this is no substitute for getting out and active and filling up your lungs. Look at all the drastically out of shape and sick people who had to break healthy habit of childhood to become that way. Imagine how slippery that slope is if you don’t have the regular activity in the first place. Yikes!
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Also, look at all the opportunities there are for creating a world as you want others to see, as opposed to bring out in the real world. It's too easy to misrepresent yourself and where is the chance to grow and learn and improve your real skills?
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Such a great post and interesting read times sure have changed since we were growing up, I was outside playing with friends each and every day until it got dark,I was inside for meals and sleeping only
Hmm well no if I was up to mischief and got caught being grounded was being stuck inside and that was terrible for me, I see many kids of today have no interest in going outdoors or playing with others unless on some sort of electronic device, so much has changed some for the better but some not so
Thanks exactly what I was saying. Kids today don't know how to play outside with each other.
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Exactly and thats kind of scary
I am glad and sad at the same time. Glad that I still belonged to a generation of kids that played outside. A stick and some balls of mud were all we needed to be happy. I am also sad because my son will never learn to appreciate the simple things in life but as long as he is happy so am I.
It is sad that they don't know how much fun it is to get out on your own with a group of friends and build your own dynamics.
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Those first few paragraphs could probably have been split up a bit into smaller ones ;) Content wise, I love play. I think the age of technology has dramatically reduced not only child's play, but the parental interaction with children. Responsibility must be taken for those that use devices as sitters and time occupancies.
It looks a lot bigger here on the phone than it did on the computer screen. Thanks for the feedback! And you're so right about electronic becoming digital babysitters. I read to boys almost every night at bedtime, now it's "send them to bed with an iPad".
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My oldest little princess? (because I too, read to them when able) has started to learn how to read pretty well and most of the nights I can't she will sit down with her little sisters and read a few books. She read 4 last night. Had my heart strings there :D
I'm sure it did pluck those heartstrings! Made me smile!
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We had a much easier life roaming around with friends, cycling, building go-carts, unless children are afforded this precious time outdoors they do miss out in a large way growing up Tammy.
What has changed:-
Parents no longer feel it is safe to allow children to play outdoors on the own.
With both parents working most children are in pre-school situation, where parents feel they should be spending some amount of time outdoors, needless to say always under observation, we changed the situation not the child.
Parents buy the iPad or computer, leaving children to their own devices not participating in what they are doing.
Many contributing factors come into play, we the parents expect more from children in participating within sports at school level feeling success there will drive future success.
Most children are overwhelmed with school work, doing homework after sport at school, leaving little time to be out with neighbourhood friends.
All in all I do feel the parent has altered the playing field, not the child.
Very good points @joanstewart. The times we live in now have definitely changed the rules, and not in a good way.
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Personally I feel we had more freedom, a lot more bruises and scratches to contend with, also learned how to recover and keep going.
Beautiful photography
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Very good post! I totally agree, children already experience so much pressure at school while there should be more room to explore things.. I know that back in the days it was quite normal to let a child go to school alone, but nowadays it's unthinkable even for short routes because of the world we live in today .. I wish it would be somewhere in the middle, without so many dangers lying around the corner..
@anouk.nox yes it would be great if kids could just be kids and have the freedom that we had. It's definitely not beneficial to their development into well adjusted adults.
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I agree, I often think to myself "Is this what I want my daughter to see every day?" And I often wonder how it's possible that she asks me so many questions, wants to know everything (as she's eager to learn, which I love) but yet she sees people sleeping on the cold streets sometimes several times before we arrive at her school every day. Yet, she never asks me why this man is on the cold floor instead of a bed. It has nothing to do with children playing, but it has to do with the fact what she grows up to see as a normal thing ever since we arrived here.
I hope we can move to another apartment somewhere beginning next year, so at least we can let her play in an area with less traffic smells and dirty streets but trees instead.. It makes me quite depressed sometimes that this is the new normal for many people. We don't live her because we love the city life we live her because it went down like that at the time, we had no options, and I much prefer having a garden and parks for her to play .. Children that grow up in the city (including myself when I was a child) miss a lot of things like playing in the woods/nature with fresh air as it's not around the corner for us (and it also wasn't for me when I was young).
Sorry I almost wrote you a book haha (these things are on my mind lately therefore it had to be written haha)
I think another big aspect that kids miss out on is interacting with kids of different ages. Everyone is stuck with the same age group and then they get a real narrow view of life. Then as adults they only seek out friendships with like minded people roughly in their same age group.
That's also true. I was going to mention that but forgot - that social playing often involved groups with varying ages and skills.
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I thought you had probably already thought about it as I was writing it haha
I love your article! This is so true 😊😊 it was more fun when we could go outside and play 😉👍
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Times have certainly changed from when I was a child, and that was a long time ago! Nowadays both parents work and the children go to after school care, by the time they get home, it's time to do homework, so the routine is totally different. I think parents are so tired by the weekends that it's easier for them to let the kids sit inside in front if electronic screens. It really is not the children's fault, it's the playing fields that sadly have changed, not good!
Parents should let the children spend more time outdoors.
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This is such a brilliant piece hon! And just as @jayna stated... so much truth in it. "Kids need to be able to be kids" is a REAL thing! Something that is most definitely forgotten! I actually wont let Jude get involved in too many extra curricular activities at school for that simple reason... he needs NATURAL play time!
I can still remember how fun it was to be a child back then. Real social interaction, discovery, physical activities. I would play outside the whole afternoon and come home all dirty which was fun. Generation has changed a lot and I could see that in my kids. Glued to their phones all day and night. One of the reasons why I would love to go to places with no data reception. Chance to truly bond and detach from technology even for a while.
It isn't by accident that children today have been isolated from the innocence of childhood and the natural interactions with childhood friends. Of course that interaction is relevant to our growth as people. With it taken away, we are growing "Stepford children."
I think we could be finding out soon that our children today are being used in terrifying ways, and trained in alarming ways. Nothing like what we have today just happens. There is a reason, IMO, and the world will be shocked if and when we ever learn what it is.
Hey @blueeyes8960
Great piece. My curfew was when it started to get dark. I would be over the park; which is still there but empty, playing football (soccer) every day without fail. No adults, no mobiles, so our communication and organisational skills had to be decent.
One of the primary schools that I have taught in had an 'inclusive' sports day! Ergh!
We got dirty, hurt, had arguments and we learned to deal with stuff and adapted.
This world is rapidly changing and I don't think it's changing for us? 🙁
Cheers
Gaz
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Back in the 50s and 60s when I was growing up playing outside was all there was and I loved it, all the games in the dirt and rolling down the grass and playing in the river. Good post this, brings back lots of good memories...
My kids have to find balance between after school play and sports and screenplay behind tv/pc/iPad and that makes them allround worldly kids and I think they are more than happy what makes me so happy
I used to play outside until it was dark when I was in elementary school. I would only be inside after street lights were on or during rainy or really cold days. Those Canadian cold days where frostbite without a face mask or smearing your face in vaseline (really hated that) was an issue, not sweater or snow pants cold.
I had a Nintendo, too. It just didn't excite me as much. It wasn't until high school that I got into computer games, but I still always prefered hanging out with friends.
I wonder if the world is actually more dangerous? Crime statistics say no and the things that pass for bullying or peer pressure today compared to 30 years ago is cute. I think video games and social networking services are just getting too damn good. They've finally found a way to beat reality and it's not virtual reality or total recall stuff, it's just the Internet.
So, so true @blueeyes8960. I was just visiting my hometown last week, driving along the acres of forest, hills and lakes which was our play area growing up. We knew we had to be home for dinner, but other than that we played all day, with friends and neighbors. Developing the skills you mentioned are indeed critical as adults, mental health and day to day life skills. Great write! :)
I agree with you wholeheartedly @blueeyes8960 and that's why we had another school shooting in California yesterday by a 16 year old. Where did he get that gun?
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It's very good your article and it's very sad too.
Indeed a wonderful truth here with a tail my friend.
As a single parent my mom used to work and my real play time in the streets started after school. My time to be home was just before 6pm when she returned from work, a hasty wash, grabbing books to seem that I was doing homework and such. The real hidings came when I missed the 6pm return time that I set for myself, or when my mom returned home earlier for some reason.
But let me tell you this, I learned more in the streets to help me in later life than what I learned at school and today I am thankful for it!
Hope you guys have a good weekend!
Blessings!
But you are right the development of society and technologies changes our and our children's lives. They have to adapt to the new circumstances ... if they can return to playtime, it will definitely be to their advantage.
Thanks for this post. I agree, playtime has almost diminished for kids. Instead teaching has increased to allow for more time to get ready for standardized tests.
Ure so right about those times before any tech or device came into our world.
I had more fun outdoors with my friends, and yeah we did get into trouble occasionally but we also learned from our mistakes.
We spoke more to each other, had more eye contact and our engagement skills improved. I'm thankful that my boys enjoy outdoor activities just as much as looking into that screen of theirs. Each time, they tell me they want to play outdoors with their friends .. I leap in happiness :)