Dark Hearts & Figgy Beers!
Ram-a-dam-a-ding-dong!!
Saturday night beer time and tonight we have dark hearts performing dark arts and inserting figs into the amber nectar.
It doesn't sound right to me but if this is a river I am destined to travel then smear me in butter and push me in!
Yes, indeed, as usual I am talking the utmost gibberish. It's the excitement of new beers. I can't hold it in!!
So what are they??
The first is Dark Arts. A surreal Stout it is claimed.
Hmm. Will it have me rolling in glue and feathers and running up and down the street naked squawking at my neighbors whilst attempting to eat stray cats with my penis?
Some might say that would be surreal?
Me, I say just another Saturday night.
Well, let's bloody see then!!
Looks like a black satin glove with just a tickle of tan/brown froth at the top. Perhaps a glove that had been used for all the wrong reasons eh?
It looks like a solid and dependable brew. But is it?
You know, I think what I like most about this is that there isn't really any fancy gimmicks. It's proper malty and bitter with a tight charcoal smokiness. Then the warm caramel sweetness comes in. I like it a lot.
Get in, you dark art performing surreal thing. 8/10 bahooms!!
Hurrah. I'm in an even better mood now!
And so then, to the main event, the figs, the figs! I feel like I have fallen in with a gang of wild pigs and we are running around someone's yard dodging semi-automatic rifle fire.
So, let's get figgy!
This figgy beer is actually called Jimmy Nail Ale. A chap who was a legend in the North England shires.
As you can see he had a face like a well-skelped arse but was probably relatively handsome by the standards of the North of England.
Handsome enough for someone to dedicate a beer made of figs to him!!!
Is that a compliment?
We'll soon see!
No doubt about it. It's brown. Or broon as they say up there in the concrete wastes of the North of England. A little hazy and a little pleasant.
Might be onto a winner!
Oh fuck. Fucking hot damn. What is that!? Is that figs? Figs can go and fuck off if it is. Who would eat something that tasted like that?!
It almost tastes gamey. Oh my god, my poor mouth!? Get thee behind me Figgy!! 2/10 booms. YUK!
So much for weird vagina fruits then!! I'm off to get something proper to drink!
Cheers everyone!!
Have a good weekend!!!
Oh look, I'm #posh!! :0D
https://twitter.com/meesterboom/status/1200899999640555520?s=09
Buena publicacion!!!
Muchas gracias, amigo!! :0)
Get figgy with it?
No figgin way!
Well, at least the first one was a cracker. 😎🍻
And while your at it with inserting things into darkened places , a pealed Madame Jeanette might add a new intense sensational experience dimension to things that can raise a tail. 😄
But another truly fine beer might also be able to flush away the taste of the horror figgin brew.
Cheers!
No figgity!!
Lol, I will be starting away from anything peeled. Heh heh.
I have a very good barrel aged number that I have fallen back on which is a bit of a relief! I trust you have some nice ones lined up!
Barrel aged, now that sounds awesome, hardly can go wrong on those ones, enjoy!
Just popped open a Winterbeer by Gerardus. Dark ruby red, fine zesty smell, sweet-bitter caramel taste with hints of licorice and juniper.
And thought it would be nice with some chilli-pepper cheese, taken in orally. 😁👌
Very nice combination.
Proost!
taken in orally hehe!!!
That looks rather good!! A fine combination all round!!
😁👌
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STOPNo, no, noooo! Your supposed to save the best for last! Can't go around with a bad taste in your mouth. I hope there was still some of the first to wash the bad taste away.
I always get two of each so there was plenty to wash it away.
That's the mad thing, I had it in my head that the fig beer would actually be quite good in a surprising way and I was gazumped!!!!
Thank heavens for that! You must be a scout master to be so well prepared. Shame the second figgy one had to go to waste, though. Unless it was plant food. In that case there is a saving grace.
I would dread the thought of letting it near my plants just in case it was done kind of weird plant toxin!!
cool
Were you drunk before you started XD
And I guess you're missing Uncle Boomwith sneaking a face description into a beer review? XD
Lol, I do miss Uncle Boom!! There was something so very comforting about aboom Thursday!
I only had one beer before the video, honest!
LOL I loooooooove your face when it is bad - really looked like it tasted terrible. Figs are nice but I cannot imagine it in a beer. That video should have been an indication of how the beer would taste hahaha
You are right, the bag singing eighties nonsense should have told me before even putting it into a glass. Oh, it was truly bad. Like dead things!!!
Looks like Jimmy was a bit ahead of his time. Just 'Crocs' would have really hit the charts like a bomb a couple of decades later.
Anyway the quality of his singing was just as good as that second beer so it seems:
It was particularly bad singing! Ha, he was ahead of his time though with that crocs nonsense, lol!!
Good
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Oooo, smashing! :0)
Aww, well maybe if it was brewed in a stout, just a touch of it, I've always quite liked fig Newton cookies! Seems like something that would go well in a dark beer. But probably not by that brewing company, ewww to sickly sweet!
I think I might have had a stout that claimed some figgery at some point that was fairly nice but yikes, you are right. It's the only place or could work!!
I can't say I'm impressed by the Jimmy Nail "music." Is that what passes for country music on the north of England? Uffda. And I thought the "bro country" trend here stateside was shit.
Did that figgy beer go down the drain or down the hatch? That will tell me what 2/10 booms ranks, and dare I ask what sort of beer gets only 1 boom, or if 0 booms is possible?
At least the stout was good. Huzzah?
It went down the drain!
Truly horrible. That is usually the worst as I often give a point or two for the concept or design. Being a generous chap, of course :0)
Thankfully it's not what we would consider anything. It was an anomaly when it read released and grew to be a bit of something to giggle at. It is fecking awful. I have heard some bro country and its awful too! Nightmare what people think is music!
Can you return unopened cans/bottles to the bear man for a refund and an apology? Or are you just out a couple quid?
I could return them but my rep would take a hit, lol.
It was only a few quid. I am sure next week's will be better!
Very true!
Figs...... I like figs but the face told me that beerifying them is not a good idea!
I hope you found that ginger bulb, or another beverage!
Fortunately it's a house of little finger so a different beer it was!!!
Hehe, Jimmy Nail. What a guy!
Nicely summed up by smasssh’s photo!
buen post
Cool :)
This post deserves a !BEER
Why thank you very much!
Well, it's looks like #beersaturday post. The language is juicy and the beer even more so :)
Hehe, I agree with all of the above!
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I have to say his singing is more comprehensible than his speaking. I remember, back in the day, it took most of the first series of Auf Wiedersehen, Pet before I had any clue what he was talking abooot.
Oh aye, the speaking is terrible. Absolutely terrible. No one in Scotland understood him for ages either!!
Haha! I KNEW that fig ale couldn't be any good! 2/10 is pretty pitiful on the boom meter.
Oh it was bad, truly rubbish. Sometimes I don't even know why I pick these odd jobs!
Well you wouldn't want to offend the Bear Man! I think it's worth a shot and it also makes entertaining videos. lol.