Scattered Days

Throughout the years, I had a mindset like, “I am prepared to face whatever happens and I did tackle them as well.” Nowadays things have been easy, the games have leveled up to insane. Still, the mindset of being carefree to face whatever is coming hasn't gone and trust me, when those come my way now, I get perplexed and damaged at the same time while defending. As I told you, games got harder than my ability to tackle at the same pace.

Planning and execution, these two terms are the hardest things to get synced for some desired outcomes. Unfortunately, the chances are very rare for me to plan something and make it execute promptly in action. One of the root causes of all my problems.

📸Andrea Marcheschi

Sometimes the senses are back, and a sharp mindset makes the best use of time. Like today, straight after the evening till midnight. Focused on the learning materials without even wasting a moment. The progress was visible. Don't know why oftentimes I get so messed that while doing nothing, like nothing at all.

The root of all these backlashes can be blamed on my handset. Yeah, it's the root of everything that is miserable, the root of wasting countless hours and making the dopamine level reach. Once the dopamine level gets spiked, it doesn’t accept anything less than that usually. And that's the reason behind our severe phone addiction rather than doing productive stuff as they can't bleed more dopamine.

Some things have been misplaced with some wrong timing from my end. Due to those wrong-timed actions, the scene got way more complex than I had expected. Nothing to do now except try my best to fix the situation as much as possible.

Well, lemme tell you something from a recent experience. One of the hardest things right now is to accept the change in behavior of a few people's behavior. Changes are acceptable but up to a certain level, when it starts going downwards towards you and makes things even harder than before then it's no way acceptable. Facing the same thing right now, pain in the ass. Never ever expected such behavior to hit me back with more damage that makes the mental peace scattered into pieces into a chain reaction. I am the reason for letting the water spilled so far, if it was fixed when it was leaked at the first position then I might not have to suffer now. Whatever happened is beyond reversing, the coming days are ahead of me to fix things. But it's like sewing the wounds that leave marks and pain that lasts longer.

In short, life got messed up, fuc**ed up, and complex before I could better prepare for them. It's not like I hadn’t invited them, just I had underestimated them a little bit and now felt the heat at its peak. Winter is coming for real, may this winter bring some winter on these messed up situations as well via miracles. Signing out for now with the hope of better days that are yet to come.

Have a great day,
Take Care.