Living life on my own terms

I remember walking round my village and seeing tall residential buildings that were built by the former billionaires in the community. Painted with multiple colours, chandeliers everywhere, expensive multi-coloured chairs and all.

I remember asking an elder why people have buildings as tall as that except it’s for business or that they wished to live forever. “Well, that’s how rich people do” was the response I got. “Even if I had the money, I would have buildings that’s as big as that in multiple towns. “Oh, that’s nice”, I said.

What I didn’t know when I said it was that I would meet someone that loves things I find too much to own, not because of stinginess, but because I prefer a simple life.

I want to be a billionaire, but my big house wouldn’t be the indicator of my billionaire status. I just want a simple building with two cute kids, and my loving husband with a small garden within the compound. Cars decent enough and not necessarily the luxurious ones that would scream “wealth”. I just want to live a simple and impactful life.

This was my response to my ex-boyfriend who asked me what I envisioned my life to be like with him. Simplicity is what I prefer. Not because I don’t want people to know my status or how wealthy I am, but because I am a simple person. So, the simple life will complement and reveal my personality more.

What I didn’t know was that he had a rethink of the relationship the moment I said that. He wanted a large family with many children. He wanted the usual big buildings where each child will have their own rooms and there will be multiple extra rooms where we can invite other people to come live with us. This is not my life, I said. And that was it.

I noticed the gradual withdrawal before the final announcement of the death of the relationship, but I didn’t mind. I take seriously issues relating to my life and future, and whoever or whatever doesn’t fit in is straight away into the trash.

I’m not rigid, but it is important that my mental space is properly protected.

I noticed that the minimalist lifestyle is deeply embedded in me and it has helped me with my daily activities.

During a festive period when people painted their hands and legs with multiple floral drawings, I wanted it minimally, and that’s because to me, less is more. The little drawing I had didn’t reduce my humanity in any way, neither did it make my hands less beautiful. Despite the minimal drawing I had, I still got people asking who the artist was.

Two years ago, one of my friends wanted to get married, and the cost of her bridal train fit was around $20 minus hotel accommodation, feeding, and transportation. I knew there was no way I could attend the wedding even if I had the money.

Prioritization is a thing to me, and there’s no way I would make unimportant things first on my list, that is if they even make it to list at all. I told her I wouldn’t be able to attend the wedding because I didn’t have any $100 to spend. I knew she was hurt, but I learned to stop people-pleasing many years ago the hard way and learned to say NO without feeling guilty as long as I know that what I did wouldn’t cost me any mental, physical or emotional stress.

Minimalism affected my relationships with some people, but I believe that it’s because they weren’t meant to stay in the first place. For someone that finds it hard to make friends, I find it quite easier to lock out people that will mentally and emotionally drain me.

Images are mine.

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