Anthony and Grace

Trigger warning: This story depicts a miscarriage in it. My apologies.

Anthony opened the front door and stepped inside. The house was silent and dark like it always was in the evenings. But today, it was more pronounced. The silence felt like thick goo. He pulled off his shoes and padded softly to the living room. He turned on the lights and it lit the room softly in a light shade of blue. He placed his briefcase on the sofa and sat beside it. He shrugged his suit off and loosened his tie, then sighed heavily.

After some minutes, Anthony stood up and went to the bedroom. He paused at the slightly ajar door, his hand on the handle. It felt like he was having a battle of will with himself. Then, he pushed it open slowly. The stench of alcohol hit him and he took a step back. His eyes adjusted slowly to the low light of the room. Two bottles of whiskey laid on the floor and a glass cup filled halfway with the honey colored liquid was placed at the edge of the bedside drawer. It teetered at the edge and he hurried towards it to push it back to a more stable position. Then he turned to look at his wife lying on the bed. Her hair was tangled in clumps and drool was pooling at the side of her lips. He could see the dark circles around her eyes. Her chest rose and fell with each breath she took. Anthony was just glad to see her asleep.

He cleaned up her drool with the wet wipes that were on the bedstand, then gently used the duvet to cover her up. Then, he cleared the bottles from the floor and carried the cup of whisky to the kitchen. After stowing away the bottles, he drank up the left-over whiskey in the cup. He sat on the kitchen stool and placed his head in his hands.

This had become a routine in their home. He would get back from work to find his wife drunk and incoherent. The only thing he would understand from all the gibberish she said when he got home was that she wanted a child. A child.

Their marriage had been a blissful one from the beginning. After their wedding, when they had driven off to the hotel for their honeymoon, they had left with the well-wishes of their families and friends. The elders had prayed for them to have children who would fill their homes with noise and laughter and the newly wedded couple had just smiled in response.

Having children hadn't been on their to-do list for the first two years of their marriage. All they wanted was to love themselves and enjoy the joys of being a couple. It was bliss. It was joy. Everything was fine until his wife, Grace mistakenly got pregnant.

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“Grace, be logical. You know we don’t have the capacity to raise a child now. We can't take care of anyone at this new point of our lives, let alone a baby.” Anthony paced forth and back in the living room. Grace was sitted on the sofa and her eyes followed his movements.

“What do you mean when you say we don't have the capacity? We have the money, we have the space. So, what's left?” She countered.

“We agreed not to have kids in the first two years of our marriage. I thought we agreed on that. And when I mean we don't have the capacity, I mean we don't have the ability to be good parents yet. We’re not ready to take care of a child.”

“Well, I changed my mind, so speak for yourself. I'm going to have this baby and I'm going to love him with my whole life.” She yelled, then stomped out of the living room.

“You already know the gender??” He yelled back but he got silence in response.

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During her first trimester, Anthony watched Grace change. She became gentle and caring with herself and her unborn baby. He watched her devote her attention and love to her baby. She ignored Anthony whenever she could and so he tried his utmost best to make peace with her. He apologized to her for his past statements and decided to support her in her decision to have the baby. He followed her to her antenatal checkups and helped her in following her dietary timetables and physical exercises. Slowly, they got back to being the happy couple they were. Anthony didn't know when he forged an intimate attachment to the unborn baby too. Then, the worst thing happened.

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Anthony had just gotten back from his evening hangout with his guys, when he saw Grace lying on the floor. He called her name, rushed to her side and took her pulse. It was slow and weak. Her eyes fluttered a little. He lifted her gently into his arms and rushed her off to the hospital. She had had a miscarriage.

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Anthony hurriedly stood up when he saw the doctor walking towards him.

“Mr Anthony.” The doctor said as he reached him.

“Doctor, how’s my wife?” He asked.

“She's stable now. Your wife had a miscarriage. At this stage, she's very fragile and it's very important that nothing is said or done to destabilize her.” The doctor said.

Anthony felt a painful clench in his heart at the news. They had lost their unborn baby whom they already loved and cherished. He wondered how Grace would take the news.

“What could have caused her miscarriage?” He asked the doctor.

“While running rests on her, we found out that her womb is too small for a baby to grow inside. That's why she had the miscarriage.” The doctor replied.

Anthony exhaled heavily at hearing the diagnosis. This was really bad news.

“Does that mean she will never be able to give birth?”, Anthony inquired.

”The chances of her carrying a baby to term is very slight.”

Anthony knew the diagnosis would break Grace when she heard it.

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When Grace woke up and saw Anthony sitting beside her, she started crying. She couldn't feel the life that was growing in her again. She knew she had lost it.

“Hey, babe. Please, stop crying.” Anthony said as he held her hand in his. He squeezed it comfortingly.

“The baby died because of you. He knew you didn't love him.” Grace said in a hoarse voice. The silence hung thick in the air after Grace’s pronouncement. She withdrew her hand from his, closed her eyes and turned away from him. Anthony could only stare with downcast eyes.

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After they lost their first baby, Grace started drinking frequently. It started with a can of beer, then two, then whiskey. She would beg Anthony to give her a child. She would tear at her hair and try to hit her stomach. She would curse her womb for being too small and not being a safe haven for a child to grow in. Anthony didn't know what to do with the unhappiness that had taken center place in their home. Anthony prayed for a miracle.

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Grace had been lucid for a week now. She had stopped drinking and it seemed there was a semblance of normalcy in their lives. Anthony and Grace were sitting at the dining table. They had just finished eating dinner, when Grace spoke up.

“Let's try again.” She said in a low voice.

“Try what?” Anthony asked, even though he knew what she wanted to try.

“Let's try to have a baby.”

Anthony stretched his hand and took hers in his.

“Babe, I don't want you to get hurt again. You know the diagnosis. The chances are slight. Please, Grace. We could just adopt a child instead.”

“No, Anthony. I want my own baby. I feel sure this time. I feel like if we try again, the baby will stay. Please, Anthony. Please.” Anthony saw the tears glistening in her eyes. When he saw the tears and the confidence behind it, he felt all the love he had for her wash over him. So, he nodded in response and pulled her up gently, then led her towards the bedroom.

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Anthony couldn't sit still. His legs would not stop moving. He kept walking the length of the hospital corridor and praying to his creator. He couldn't bear the thought of losing his child again or watching Grace slide back into despair. He rested his back against the white wall and slid down till he was sitting on the floor. Then, he saw the doctor heading towards him. The doctor’s lips were pulled into a big grin and Anthony knew that everything was alright. Grace had carried their baby to term. His wife and his child were both safe. He would love both of them with all he had.