You are not obligated to drown with them.

One of the things we all need to have in mind is that they are necessary preconditions for entering into a relationship. And, as far as I can tell, one of such preconditions is that the set of people in the relationship has to want the relationship to happen.

This is why all relationships are built on an existing uniting factor which fundamentally has so much to do with the willingness of each party to recognize the existence of the relationship and treat each other accordingly. If that's not the case, it will only create a series of relationships where one person is trying to nurture the relationship while the other is making a mess of it.

"And, what can I do if I find myself in that sorta relationship?
What if my family doesn't want anything good for me?
How can I cope with this?"

I can still recall the look on my friend's face when she asked this daunting question. I knew where she was coming from and the plain answer to her question will surely hurt. Nonetheless, I had to give her that answer. Better to feel the hurt now and get her life together than to be trapped in a pit just because she's trying to save a 'family relationship' with someone who doesn't see her as family.

In my years of interacting with folks, I've come to realize that so many people are trapped in a relationship that is consistently going downhill because the other party isn't up to any good. As far as I'm concerned, it's better to end a relationship if you are sure that the other party is only interested in messing it up. End it and use your energy to invest in other things. That's that!

That's a no-brainer, but It's never easy to make that call when we bring family relationships into the picture.

I've thought about this a lot because when it comes to the relationship between family, we do not usually have a say in deciding who would be our parents, siblings, cousins, and uncles. Some people find themselves in a family that is vicious towards one another and the family members hold contempt for each other.

This leads to situations where siblings would not want to treat each other as such. Family members would also treat each other like strangers and the whole family will be filled with enmity. Sadly, situations like this are our reality but make no mistake... It's happening. Some families are filled with so much feud, they have all forgotten what it's like to experience genuine family love.

"Mine is not too different either. The extended side of my paternal home is not a home. The feud over there is unreal."

The devil is in the detail, but I won't dive into that detail. The bottom line is that I have my fair share of experience in dealing with a family that would rather drag me to hell than allow me to pull them to heaven. I know what it's like and I know that trying to maintain a family relationship in its real sense will never work out as far as they are hell-bent on making me miserable.

The thing that has been fairly obvious in all these is that whenever I'm trying to build a relationship with someone and the person is more interested in making me feel miserable, the best thing I do is to stop trying. That doesn't sound like a lovely thing to do, but if you've been through the series of things I've experienced in life, you will find it easier to see the reason behind this decision.

It's as simple as offering something to someone and the person doesn't take it. Well, offer that to someone else. Someone else would take it and appreciate it.

When you are done reading this, feel free to share your thoughts about what you see as a good way to approach a relationship where the other party's actions and inactions are pulling you downhill.

Thanks For Not Missing Any Full-stop Or Comma
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