Today's My Special Day

Hello Hivers! @baby.magic here, back again with another funny story that will surely put a smile on all yo' faces.

So let's get to it.

So I woke up today feeling great. Like always after waking up I go to the bathroom to take a leak and I've never felt so good about urinating in the morning. Wooooo! Today is a special day. 38 years ago on this very same day I was born into this not-so-perfect world. Sometimes I think I was brought to this world to shed some laughter, you know, to balance things out. With everything that's happening in our world today I think a little laughter really helps to ease the pain that we are all going through.

So I thought of writing a story about my birthday. So there I was thinking, something that I really don't like doing. If you actually sold my brain on the black market it would go for a high price, coz it's slightly used. So I keep on thinking about funny stuff to write about and I'm thinking.. and an hour goes by..

..and I got nothing.

Aarrggh! Fuck it! Why would I stress myself about writing a story when it's my birthday. I should just be lying on the couch and do nothing and let everyone do all the work for me. So I just gave up.

So I went to the store to buy cigarettes and the storelady asks me when I'm gonna pay the soda that I owe her. So I told her,

"It's my birthday today maybe you can cross it out off my tab as a gift."

She looks at me suspiciously and said to me,

"You said the same thing last month. Everytime I ask you to pay your debt you always say it's your birthday."

When you're full of shit nobody really believes what you say anymore. So I just said to her,

"Well, this time it's for real. Can you give me a pack of cigarette."

She gives me what I asked for reluctantly and said to me,

"That's 60 pesos."

"Okay, put it in my tab. I'll pay you next week."

And I hurriedly left the store and went home. She was saying something to me but I wasn't hearing any of it.

Back at home, I light a cigarette and I looked at my phone and I really wanted to post something today. I have like 10 unfinished stories in my drafts but none of them had anything to do with my birthday. And then I get a text from my brother @baninan telling me that he sent me money for my birthday.

"Alright!" I said.

So I went to an ATM and then bought lunch at Jollibee.

He doesn't seem to mind that I'm wearing a SUBWAY shirt in his store.

Fun fact about Jollibee is that he is the undisputed king of quick-serve restaurants in my country. Not even a giant like McDonalds could beat him. Ronald McDonald even went to his rival's joint to try the food for himself to see why more people go to Jollibee instead of Mickey D's.

And he welcomes Ronald to his joint.

But no special treatment for his rival though.

So after having lunch, I light a cigarette and think of something funny. But still nothing. It's just one of those days when nothing funny ever comes out of your head. I'm starting to doubt if I have a brain at all.

So I thought maybe a bottle of beer can help spark some funny shit off my head. I called my drinking buddy hoping I'd get some inspiration for my post today.

Okay, don't mind the hair 'coz I also don't know which Korean popstar he's going for. Back when we were in high school we used to listen to Rage Against The Machine and we would bang our heads, jump up and down like we were in a mosh pit of a rock concert. But these days, he's more into K-Pop. Yup. He went a full 360-degree turn from an angry man's music to an aesthetic-driven music genre.

Anywho.

We were talking about tiktok videos of women showing their cleavage and bouncing their boobs or their asses which are getting more views than that of an important documentary about the planet. I guess people are more interested in boobies rather than climate change. If I was the one producing a documentary about climate change I'd put a lot of clips about boobies in between important topics.

For example: The seawater level is rising by 1mm every second.. boobies clip. The glaciers are melting at a very fast rate.. boobies clip.

Yeah? What do you think? I think they'd get the message across to a lot of people including the dim witted ones who only care about boobies. Boobies could actually save this planet.

Boobies.

I don't know what topic can spark more interest than that. Wait. I know. More boobies. Okay, I'm gonna stop here 'coz if I continue going down this path it will eventually lead to me writing about porn. So that's my birthday post.

Thank you for making it to the end of this post I hope you enjoyed reading it.

If you want to greet me a happy birthday do it in the comments section.

And my name is @baby.magic & that's it for now. Jah bless!

Any upvotes, follows and reblogs is greatly appreciated.

All photos taken from my phone.
Ronald Mcdonalds photos grabbed from this source .
GIF powered by Tenor.