the wind whispers
How to describe that feeling you get when …
You know the moments I’m talking about, when something just strikes you as beautiful in some otherworldly way and you want to tell someone about it but your words seem to fail you.
For me, I find mountains beautiful. On every drive I take, I find myself making some comment to wife about the mountains in the distance only to have her roll her eyes at me and presumably think, There he goes again, talking about mountains.
I have no idea how I can word what I’m seeing and feeling so that my wife will understand that it feels like the mountains are talking to me, like they’re sending me messages.
This past week, I found myself encountering these big mysterious emotions a lot, so I took a swing at describing them in my typical minimalistic way.
Do these poems get the job done or not?
You be the judge.
hidden in plain sight
gifts from my son
migrating across the sky
great silver beasts
questions that can’t be answered
in a single night
the coals of our fire
still burning
a dead fly
drying in the sun
edamame and
cold beer
kids are on the couch
watching reels
Greetings @boxcarblue ,
Lovely photographs black and white...perfect accompaniment to your poetry/prose.
Did you describe the mountains Maybe....
'small piles of rocks
hidden in plain sight
gifts from my son'
To God ...mountains would certainly appear as small piles of rocks...hidden in plain sight...for our wonder....gifts from His Son...Jesus Christ...the Creator of Heaven and Earth.
I will enjoy thinking on your words today....
...and how about these words...
'the wind whispers
questions that can’t be answered
in a single night'
Lovely....right...not in a single night but consistent study of God's Word under a Pastor who knows the ancient languages of Greek and Hebrew will certainly answer many of our queries.
Such is the power of words...lovely poetry...thank you for prompting these thoughts.
Kind Regards to you and your good lady,
Bleujay
You have an interesting way of looking at things. Your comment gives me much to think about.
Thank you.
Another nice poem! I guess the wife doesn't see the mountains quite the way you do... But that's alright. I mountains feel almost freeing to me, escaping the human world if you will.
How have you been doing?
No, she definitely doesn’t see them the way that I do. 🤣
But she grew up with them on the horizon and I didn’t. That could have something to do with it.
Me, I’m just getting by day to day, trying to pull myself out of a slide in motivation. How about yourself?
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I appreciate your support.
I enjoyed your poems.
It is funny how some things touch us so deeply that there are no exact words to convey our feelings on them.
I need a bowl/cup with stars in the bottom. 😄
You should be able to make a cup like that for yourself easily enough. Give it a go.
I love your poetry. Crisp clear images. The structure is grand. I'm posting one in a similar style today. Thank you again.
Thank you for stopping by.
I keep the first four poems, there, I see tenderness and the smiling looks of your wife and of course those mountains in the distance trying to communicate with you. The simplicity of contemplation. Greetings.
The first four poems and the last three are quite different, aren’t they? I guess that reflects the changes in my schedule and routine and writing time from weekdays to weekends.
It may be that these poems make me visualize the images more clearly, perhaps those details that you mention may have an influence, but language, geography and time intervene.
the wind whispers
questions that can’t be answered
on a single dive
My favorite; albeit I replaced a couple of words. When you replace the mountains with the sea / ocean, I resonate deeply. If only "we" aka "the human family" could express our feelings more eloquently ...
That’s an interesting change. I wonder if it wouldn’t be more apt to alter the first line to do that it reflects the ocean.
waves whisper (or) the sea whispers
questions that can’t be answered
on a single dive
Originally I wrote the last line as a single life. I couldn’t decide between the words life and lifetime. I liked the word life better because it seemed to suggest that we have more than one chance at all of this, but as I played with words, I, perhaps temporarily, settled on night.
"Waves whisper" - I like that one. "The ocean whispers" is another good one.
I stuck with "the wind whispers" cause I was instantly drawn back to my weeklong diving experience at the Great Barrier Reef. I dived five times per day for a whole week and I remember laying down on the terrace of our beautiful double-deck catamaran after one of the night dives, looking up at the amazing sky with its billions of stars, chatting with my buddies while listening to the wind & ocean whisper 😊
That makes sense. Your edits fit your experience perfectly then. Isn’t that neat.
I think they do, bring it across, your poems. That's why I like them so much!
Thank you. I’m glad to hear that they do get that feeling across.
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