Not So Love But Love

I was only 14years when I started crushing on this cute guy in my denomination. It was quite silly of me I guess but I usually comforted myself with the phrase its just a little harmless crush and nothing more.
I grew up watching my liking for the guy grew every single day. I only got to see my crush on Sundays during service and after Sunday, I waited six more days to be able to see his face again.
I watched him play the instrument skillfully and was enjoying himself each time he handles his guitar.
Little did I know that the harmless crush was becoming even stronger. I already wished to grow up pretty far so at least I can be transferred from the children's department to the youth and intermediate department and in that way, I get to have a closer look at my crush and not just from a distance of miles away.

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Funny how I turned 16years still with the hope of just seeing him and nothing more, little did I know that he had long time noticed the glances I gave him and also developed a little interest in me as well. With time and as I grew older, we got each other on the social media when I finally had a phone after high school and we started chatting, diving into each other's life and more. Along the line, as our friendship grew much stronger, he told me about liking me and how he knows I feel the same too but I kept denying everything as if I vowed never to let him find out I was crushing on him or liking him the whole time. Though he didn't believe I didn't like him even just a little bit but then he didn't and couldn't force anything on me. He just accepted his fate haphazardly hoping to get me to say the words someday. We only kept our conversation moderate and friendship-based.
I didn't wanna admit to liking my crush and my crush, on the other hand, seemed not to be straightforward either so instead of getting hurt at such a young and innocent age, I slowly distanced myself from him with time.

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And to help me on this mission, my phone suddenly got faulty and so did his, so somehow we lost connection and our communication was cut off. I stopped giving him attention whenever I saw him and I didn't really care much about his presence anymore. Or perhaps I found out a year later that he got himself a girlfriend and I only learned about the girl from another person. I wasn't really hurt, to say the least, after all, it was just a crush, a harmless crush like I put it. So why get hurt in the process?.
We both moved on and everything went back to normal. With me not having him in mind anymore and his presence not affecting me in any way.

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I can't really say he was my first love cause I barely even understood what love was at that time. It was just a little girl falling head over heels for a cute guy close by and there was absolutely nothing wrong with that if I am to tell the story now.
I had fun crushing while it lasted and that's all there is to my first love story or should I say crush story lol.
Pardon my non-love life, I haven't really experienced a lovey-dovey kind of love from my teenage age up till date😩😢 its always non-stop crushes and infatuations💔😂
Maybe someone can help educate me on what is wrong with me cause I honestly do not know😂
But all the same, do you guys mind reading and telling me what you think of my first love story and also sharing yours with me, I would like to read it as well.

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              10 May 2022