Prioritizing ones-self.

I didn't understand the importance of mental health till recently. "Not very recent though," I've noticed how people prioritize their mental health, like their well-being; sometimes, I wonder why people would place more importance on their mental health than their well-being.

These thoughts kept lingering in my head till the not-so-recent experience I had that put my mental health in a tight corner that it was very hard to move; I found myself drained in thoughts that weren't necessary because I wanted to please someone and go all out for them.

It all started two years back when I decided to venture into this relationship with my right senses, and I ended up leaving because it showed the senses I entered with weren't even the right ones, "still trying to figure that part out." It's never easy to end a relationship, and it's even more complicated when it has to do with your mental health; people tend to believe that it's only a physical reason that is good enough to end a relationship. When you tell them about the mental health part of it, "they tend to argue" and tell you "it can be worked on." I mean, "You say what?".

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I met this someone through my cousin, and we went out a few times and got to know each other better, from the few times I've spent with this someone, I got attracted to him, so when he popped the question "not proposal though" I didn't think twice but went straight into saying "yes, I'll be your woman". Things started smoothly; our communication level was normal but not "100%."

As time went by, this someone's true colors started unfolding; always he would have something to complain about, the kind of female friends I hung out with. Since the so-called relationship kicked off, this person automatically stopped taking me out to places, we don't see physically, even when we are based in the same city.

But then, when I go out with friends, "he would complain about it." At some point, our communication level dropped to zero, I felt like I was the only one putting in the time and effort to make the relationship work, and it was becoming stressful. You know how detrimental stress can be in a relationship; I was all alone and felt like I was just floating in an open sea.

Sometimes, I would find myself swimming in the river of tears till my eyes would be swollen. One morning, I sat down on the couch, and different questions started roaming my head: "Is this relationship worth keeping?" And "who is putting more effort into this relationship?" I'm the answer to the second question.

At that moment I knew what I wanted, and I went straight up into doing the right thing. I know some people might think breaking up isn't an option when you can work things out, "but then, to me, breaking up is an option when you are the only one struggling and fighting to put things in place." They say it takes two to tangle and not one.

So I walked out of that relationship to keep my mental health safe and sound. We are the pioneers of our happiness, we are solely responsible for the happiness in our lives.

Thanks for reading 🧡