Whose Fault?


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When it comes to a child's upbringing and giving the child the best training, in the end, such a child becomes a nuisance in society, I wouldn't blame the parents, and again, I would blame them. It all depends on the factors at play.

Parenting isn't an easy task as it takes both parents to be there to support and help each other in training a child. They say when a child is being trained and nurtured well, he or she should try to train himself or herself more so that the whole upbringing would be easier on the parents' side. But sometimes, the environment plays a bigger role.

One cannot control how society behaves especially when one finds themselves in such a location. Parents need to define and watch out for the kind of environment they want to train their kids in.


The environment in which a child is brought up is important in the life of a child because when being trained in an environment where there are silly kids around with some young adults adding more salt to the injury, it becomes difficult to bring up a child around there. After all, no matter how hard the parents try to train the child, he or she will still be influenced negatively which would make parents think they aren't doing their best.

Parents need to consider the best environment for bringing up a child and more so, they must be available every time to look out for such a child and watch how he or she behaves. When parents do not give time to their children as all they want is to chase after business, career and money, it would affect a child. In my culture, it is a normal thing to accord respect to the father when a child is doing well and blame the mother when he goes astray. This is something unfair to the female gender but that's not what we are talking about here.


Let's take me as an example — I was brought up in a toxic environment where there were lots of touts and misbehaved children, those who would look down on their parents when they were being scolded, husbands and wives fighting every morning and the whole place would be hot, we grew up to see this happening every day and would try to copy such bad behaviour, and being around hooligans, it was easy for me to want to be among despite how strict and disciplined my parents were.

All thanks to a quick observation and intervention, I was taken away from such an environment to live with my aunt where my life got changed. My parents did their best to train us in the best way but I was almost influenced by the environment and those of my mates before I was taken away on time.


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You see, we wouldn't blame some parents because they did their best but the child decides to go his own way due to external influence. In my culture, they say four eyes would give birth to a child but thousands of eyes would help take care of him or her. So, when an environment is corrupt, it affects a child's upbringing which would lead to becoming a nuisance in society but when an environment is in unity and cooperation to make a child responsible, no doubt the child would be the best in behaviour and everything.


On the other hand, some parents would be blamed because not everyone is fit to be a parent. Most people rush into marriage with the wrong mindset — just to give birth and with no understanding of how the whole upbringing works. Let's say we have a man who loves to scold a child at the slightest mistake and we have a mother who would support every wrongdoing of the child, the mother would be blamed and vice versa.

Many times when I see some parents failing in bringing up a child to become responsible through their behaviour and not being a good role model to the child, I shake my head because it clearly denotes how the life of the child would be. Children love to imitate what their parents do whether in the wrong or good way. So, parents should be careful especially when they want the best for them. Some parents wouldn't care about their children's future and just leave them to do whatever they feel like.

In conclusion, blaming the parents or not would depend on the factor at play because sometimes, children too are at fault as they have the choice of whether to accept what they are being taught or not. In some instances, parents have tried their best but the child just wishes to go astray making them question their parenting journey all along. Also, laying the foundation most times for a child is very crucial as the Holy Bible says, train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old, he will not depart from it.

Thanks for your time reading. Looking forward to your interaction.

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My dear, you have really tried in exploring all the factors and I agree with you because these factors all come into play in a child's upbringing.

But if the parents do their part diligently to raise the child in a fairly good environment and that child still misbehaves, then the fault lies with the child.

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Yes, of course, it is the child's fault and would definitely go through the repercussions until he or she goes back to the right path.

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now, this is a write up I agree with in all the ones I have been reading. Yes, the parent play a very significant role when it comes to the formation of a child character but we can never put all the blames on the parent because there are other factors in place. The child is going to school, they are meeting with friends who you don't know what their parent are teaching then, they are seeing things but now, when the child misbehaves, it is now left for the parent to correct and find the source of the problem so it doesn't repeat itself. Train up a child in the way they should grow and when they are old, they would depart from it.This is fact because those believe a parent instil in their child will always remain unless the child wants to go against it which the child's conscience will always make reference too. "remember what your dad or mom said about this thing"

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That is very true. Children are more exposed to the outside world than inside. It is still the parent's role to identify what the wrong things they are allowing and helping to bring them back on track. But it still lies in laying the good foundation when they are still very young and if a child still acts stubborn, those words would be rocking like a gun on their chest and conscience would be doing its work too.

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Yeah, this is why a good foundation matters a lot

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Hello there, Princess. I totally agree with you that parenting isn't easy at all. I also agree with the factors you mentioned. Environment plays an important role
In shaping the life of a child. But, most times, parents are not in control of this factor. If parents had all the resources, they would raise their kids in a perfect environment; train them in the best schools and the best home (where there are no hooligans or bad eggs.)
Parents are responsible for their kids, but some children are just naturally stubborn.

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Yes, that's why I said some parents aren't in control of the factors around an environment and all they need to do if they ever find themselves in such situation is to do their best. Though kids can be stubborn as they are more exposed in the environment. May God help all parents.

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I agree with you on this write-up. Parents are responsible for the outcome of their children but we cannot put all the blame on the parents because some children are naturally stubborn.
To the good parents outthere, keep doing the good work👍

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Yes oo, some children are naturally stubborn. Some parents are trying, let's give kudos to them. God will help them.

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True, the environment plays a huge role in a child's upbringing, the reason why I had to leave my previous residence when my child started becoming aware of things, prevention is better than cure.

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That's a good one. Observation matters too and I love how you took a step on time. God will continue to help you.

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Anyone could be at fault and sometimes, it could even be a third party and that's because kids can be easily influenced no matter how disciplined parents are.

Environmental factor a big issue many people don't consider and I strongly believe that it influences kids a lot. I am keen on the fact that parents must be their kids best friends and that way they won't miss out on anything happening in the children's life.

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You are very right. Parents must develop that friendship level with their kids so they aren't influenced in the negative way so easily.

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This is beautifully written, and I can't agree with you less. Parenting is a full-time job that requires wisdom.

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Every child can be different, the situation, environment, and lifestyle can be different and everything can make an impact on a child and so based on those things child's case can also be different and it's indeed hard to answer who/what is reasonable for misbehave of a child. It's indeed complicated to give a statement about it in a single line.

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Yeah, so complicated as a lot of factors must be looked into first before trying to blame anyone.

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Nice write-up 💯
Please, where can I find the link to this week's topic?

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The prompt is always posted in the community and also dropped in the Discord channel. You have to be a verified member though.

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