I Played It Safe In High School, I Wish I Didn't

You know that girl that goes to class very early before assembly time
That girl that quietly sits in her favourite seat not in the front and not at the back either
That girl that is quiet almost the whole time of school
That girl that walks about facing downwards
That girl with that one friend she relates with most
That girl that tends to be loved by teachers because of how calm she is...

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I was that kind of girl during high school and believe when I say it was almost boring compared to other social lives people were having back then but it was rewarding if I look to my studies direction... I mean, I didn't get bad results in my subjects like some others did thanks to me being that way.

I can't say I didn't love it when I was being that way then, that was just me playing it safe and making sure I didn't let any bad egg influence me and I was making sure I didn't add more struggle to my studies. It paid off but there is a but...

I wish I didn't play safe then... I wish I acted out of my ordinary once in a while like some others did.

I wish I had more friends to play with during break time...

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Out of purpose to stay studious, I only kept one friend with the others as just talk mates while in class. My friend and I would always talk with ourselves about studies, ransom things sometimes and talk about what our future would be like... It was memorable thinking about it now but I wish it wasn't just that.

I remember seeing some girls of my class planning fun day out together, party invites, picnics and a special game to play during break times... I wish I had opt in to join them back then but no! I was playing it safe instead.

It wasn't until recently, I've been able to stay comfortable doing some of those things I opted out of during high school. I'm so sure it would have been a lot different and better if I had had a lot of such experiences back then... By now, I'll be trying out other experiences and not trying to be comfortable with what others have been doing and gotten used to.

I wish I had joined our sports events...

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In the spirit of playing it safe, I was also that girl who thought she was too calm and soft to be part of game events especially the inter house sports conducted annually. I think out of the countless sport days of my school, I was only seen around there once or twice and that was because I had to call someone or get something around the place.

I hate exercises until I got wiser that they are very useful for my health, I wish I didn't play it safe back then if not, I would have been more enthusiastic about exercises now. Thinking back now, I liked how the sport wears looked on some persons and how energetic they seem when doing their thing... I never had that experience 😩

I wish I sneaked out of school like others did, I wish I fought with one person at least for taking my stuff away, I wish I told my feelings to my crush, I wish I disobeyed the rule of coming early to school and so many other things I didn't get to experience and may never get to experience anymore... I wish I was bad a little.

Don't look at me like that 🙄 I'm just wishing, it's not your wish but mine. Anyways, there is still time to experience some like fighting you if you attack me in the comment section.

If I had to make my choices over from high school, I'd be a little bad but also a cool headed student.