Age Doesn't Matter If The Foundation Is Right
Age Doesn't Matter If The Foundation Is Right
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We have different mindsets, different beliefs, and different perspectives about life. One thing we must understand about life is that all the principles and the laws governing us were set by us. They are valid because society accepts them. The day we say these things should no longer be like this or like that, the order will change.
What is right, or wrong, what is proper or improper all came from our perspectives and beliefs. This is why in the world today, what one person sees as a taboo, to another person is legal. In that regard, everyone is right and everyone is wrong.
So, I am going to be talking from my belief and perspective. When it comes to relationships, age is nothing but a number provided that you know what you are about to go into and you are ready to be committed to it.
Down here in Nigeria, we believe that a man should always be older than the lady he wants to settle with. The reason many people tie to this is, that if the woman is older than him, she might not respect him.
Also, the woman might get old before him which may eventually make him cheat or make her get out of his mind. As soon as she starts giving birth, her shape will be gone and she will not be as charming as she used to be.
Others consider menopause and a few other things. All these reasons are tangible but as logical as they are, they don't appeal to me.
First of all, one thing we must check when it comes to marriage and relationships is love. Marriage is not all about having kids and being beautiful. Those things are important too but they are not basic.
We need to consider a few things like what are we marrying for? Is this the right partner? Can he/she support my dreams? If all fades away, will I still love this person? Do I really want to be with this person or am I just doing it because he/she is young or because the person is wealthy?
All the above being answered then you will know that age is nothing, a lot of us carry the ideology of age as a barrier to marriage from what we hear around.
Whether you like it or not your partner will still grow old. I have seen men who married ladies who were younger than they are but the ladies ended up looking like their mothers. Don't tell me you don't want her to be older than you. In the end, it will definitely happen.
Go for who you love and who you are sure you can be with regardless of age. But ensure you are ready for what comes along with it. I am saying this so that we can be wise as well.
In as much as age doesn't matter to me don't go for someone who is too old and expect the person to perform miracles for certain things to come into existence.
For instance, marrying a lady who has reached
menopause and expecting her to bear children, that's witchcraft. At Least if she's older than you, she should be within the age of fertility so that your home won't be shaking along the line.
When you do it the right way you will have your peace. Anyone saying your spouse will disrespect you because he or she is older than you was misled. Yes, it happens but check the foundation of the marriage before you conclude. If your spouse is God-fearing and truly loves you, they will always accord that due respect to you.
Moreover, you won't just marry without courtship. What the person displays while you are in the relationship level will definitely resurface during marriage. If you ignore them in a relationship, be ready to do likewise in marriage. Some of those things don't just happen.
Apart from marriage and courtships, even in friendship, age doesn't mean anything. Most of my friends are even older than me but we relate well and act like mates.
We are all humans, the age thing is just a privilege to be in the world before the other person, it's not something to cling to. It shouldn't make us lose the right people in life.
One important thing to consider with age difference is that the desire to have children can grow from zero or even below zero to so intensely strong over the cause of years that it gains the power to erase everything. Having zero interests in kids when you are 20 and your partner 35, versus not being able to think about anything else when you turn 35 yourself and your partner is 50. Seriously, if there is an age gap and the love is strong and there is still a window, jump into that window even if you are not ready yet or you think you are to old to do that (again). I didn't, and in retrospect I ended up regretting it twice.
We all have what we want and it's terrible to let what we want slip out of our hands because of the belief around us..
Thanks for the sweet comment
It takes a high level of maturity to make marriage work, and an extra level to make the one which the wife is older works. The challenge lies on the day of misunderstanding. The woman may start to feel that she is taking too much excesses from her junior for that matter. I have witnessed this. If the maturity is there to handle such a situation, then I don't see any problem with age gaps.
LoL, I agree with you but there are women who won't think they are taking too much from the man who is younger than her.
No doubt, misunderstanding will definitely come in but some women will still know their place. The thing that keeps bothering me is not even the age, it's when the woman is richer than the man 🤣🤣.. don't know if you've thought about this. Do you know even if he's 25 and she's 35, if he has money and does his responsibility as a man, she will always accord that respect? Imagine the opposite 😂
Thanks for the amazing comment sir..
This is so true. Age difference is easier to hand than when the woman is richer than the man. I agree with you absolutely.
Hahaha, it is well o.. thanks for stopping by sir
You are welcome.
You are welcome.
hello there I guess if the foundation is strong, and there is mutual respect and understanding there won't be many issues in the couple, but with the age gap do you think their POV towards things would be the same, as different POV will surely bring conflict in the long run.
But these are just my thoughts you, people will be thinking differently.
Hehehe, truth is there might be complications along the way. But anything can happen, it depends on the couples. We may say the age gap would result into a serious problem along the line and it may end up being the best marriage.. and we may say it will go smoothly and then boom, everything goes south. To be frank, I can't tell🤣
Thanks for the beautiful comment sir🥰
Thank you
Same question as Furiousboy: with a large age gap, do you think the relationship would work? As we know, beliefs and interests can also play a role in how you understand each other.
The relationship may or may not work depending on both of you. That was why I said, you should know what you are signing in for before you jump into it. Marriage is not a play ground, a slight mistake may result in a lifetime regret..
Thanks a lot for hoping in🥰
This post is spot on, bro! From beginning to end, the main thing lies with the two people involved in the relationship. They must be clear about how they feel and what they truly want, not forgetting that love is the ultimate.
By the way, you wrote like a marriage counsellor, 😊.
#dreemerforlife
Hahah, thanks you so much ma. Marriage councilor? I'll think about that🤣🤣
I think at the end it all boils down to the reason behind a marriage, I mean if a man chooses to marry a woman for her beauty, it doesn't matter if he marries an older lady or not, he will eventually feel the need to go after another who looks pleasing to him.
Pop in from #dreemport
#Dreemerforlife
Spot on bro, when we marry with the wrong reasons, age will not solve the consequences. Thanks for hopping in boss
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