The Yardstick For Measuring Double Standards
It's in human nature to emphasize on the present and this is because we can practically do nothing to change the past, what we usually do is mentally speculate, dwelling on the Inadequacies of that past and only wishing we could change some things, but this is as far as we can go: The power of expressive and wishful thinking As for the future, it's a time we're cognisant of, but because we cannot immediately prove its existentiality. The present is king because it's the only time we're currently existing in, this is why people tend to appease the moment they find themselves to attain some gratification.
The truth is that no matter how promising the future might be, everyone will always have a mental yardstick to adjudicate their fellow humans because we're beings of proof. However, succumbing to our original nature takes away the personal development we can go through in life. As we are in our raw state, we're rough around the edges and needs several pruning at all time. I like to talk about the aspect of complement. In life, people need others to complement them, this is part of the prerequisite that's necessary for the social aspect of existence.
Because we're generally social animals, there's the need to fulfill or meet this need nevertheless, the passage and sophistication of time make people crave social indulgences based on the properties, benefits, or enablement that they can muster. I hear a lot of people saying "because I'm beautiful, I deserve to be with someone even more good-looking than I am". People gauge their worth and with this worth, they sort of measure the things they feel they deserve and because of this, they place so many expectations on their fellow humans in other to meet up to a certain standard. Sometimes people mistake their pride for worth.
However, there's just a thin line between self-worth and pride Sometimes valuing ourselves with our gauge often creates a wrong measurement. One thing is, we find it difficult to count our inadequacies while measuring our worth, making it easier for us to think that our frailties and shortcoming doesn't matter. But the truth is, we often count the frailties of others, forgetting that we do not count ours. However, there are people in life who wants the people in their life to be perfect, without blemish, and 100% to their specifications but then, do these people truly exist?
Yes, they do
.....there are people with the specifications we crave, but the problem is, are we their specifications too? In our bid to seek perfectionism, do we sometimes gauge
the definition of "perfection" from others to see if we meet these requirements? No. It's a selfish thing. I believe that not acknowledging our Inadequacies makes us blind to the real "us" because we have to establish a balance to truly know what we're worth. No one can ever attain perfection and it's wrong for us to set that expectation for others. In life, the "looks appeal" often sells a lot and I think this is very wrong. Some of the sophistication that technology in this modern day brings encourages people to embrace lies and fakery, this is why we often attach value to the wrong things.
A lot of people build social preference with the physicalities they can place meaning to because we're easily impressed with the things we can perceive, feel and see.
However, we often do so because we're creatures of the moment, it takes the process of endless development to be futuristically inclined. At the end of the day, we're meant to complement one another rather than create a disparity. I do believe that understanding and tolerance is an underestimated values and this makes it easy to create spaces
Interested in some more of my works?
The Intrinsic Propensity To Spend Money
Poverty: The Unwillingness To Spend?
A Scenic Bathroom Photoshoot
The Importance Of Having A Contingency Money Plan
Translational Value; What Is Your Worth?
Using Crypto As A Means Of Transferring Will
We certainly cannot change the past, but we can learn from it to improve our present for a more profitable future. But the important thing is to live the present and each day as if it were the last. As they say, the past is behind us, the present is today and the future is a mystery. Greetings.
Yeah exactly, cannot change the past
I'm really not happy when I see that so many people keep looking for perfect people and they themselves are far from being perfect. Just like you said, we might be perfect in our eyes but to others, we are very imperfect and that is why it is not safe to think we are perfect, we can only just focus on getting better.
Especially when it comes to relationships, it is very common to see a girl looking for Mr right and a guy looking for Mrs right but the truth is we are the one that make these people the right ones and until we do that we will always feel they are not the right ones.
I have met many people who never focuses on their own imperfection and only lay emphasis on other people's imperfection and this makes it difficult to think others are worth our attention or love. It's why we need to also put our imperfections into perspective because we cannot keep thinking we're perfect, and not according other people that same luxury.
I've seen them too including myself actually 😏, but I have learned something from you today and I do hope to become better 🙂.
Haha if it's including yourself, then I'm glad for all the personal development, I think no one can be perfect no matter how much we invest in trying to be better. I'm glad for the person you've become my dear.
Wow, how come you see that I'm developing personally and you haven't met me? Well it's possible sha but the way you said it someone will think I'm you little sister 😅.
Thank you so much for the compliment sir 🙏❤️.
Congratulations @josediccus! You have completed the following achievement on the Hive blockchain and have been rewarded with new badge(s):
Your next target is to reach 450000 upvotes.
Your next payout target is 68000 HP.
The unit is Hive Power equivalent because post and comment rewards can be split into HP and HBD
You can view your badges on your board and compare yourself to others in the Ranking
If you no longer want to receive notifications, reply to this comment with the word
STOPTo support your work, I also upvoted your post!
Check out the last post from @hivebuzz:
Support the HiveBuzz project. Vote for our proposal!
This is usually an underrated topic, good you raised it. Sadly, a lot of people suffer from self-critical perfectionism. Others are just lucky not to be obsessive about it.
I have come across people who would take honour in describing themselves as being perfectionists but mostly in their case they are self-oriented perfectionists who are rather harsh on themselves. They would have unrealistic self-expectations to the extent of battling to accept their mistakes as lessons. This can be damaging to self-confidence and some end up being depressed or battling with anxiety. It's even hard for them to live in the present moment if they have regrets attached to past events
The worst one is expecting others to be perfect (socially prescribed), you phrased it better there as double standards and yes @hopestylist touched on it being damaging to relationships especially when one is not even self-critical. But just direct it to others. This one's living in the present moments would be hard they'll attach blame to the past.
The sad one is when it's others-oriented, assuming others expect you to be perfect. This can build up insecurity and feeling not good enough.
I wonder if these people are even aware of their perfectionism and double standards or if they've normalized it.🤔. Admittedly I might have a trace of the first one but not obsessed, luckily my reality-check always outsmart it!
Thanks for the comment. In reality, I think people who claim to be perfect are just struggling to be better and they're nowhere near it as it's even impossible. We're humans and sometimes I feel one of the virtue we must cultivate is tolerance. If everyone could cultivate tolerance, it'll be difficult for us to lay too much expectations on ourselves as well as others too. I think there's so little we can do and it's better not to aggrandize life.
An oxymoron of sorts.
I've come to terms with it. And if you think about it, it's neither good nor bad. It's nature. Animal instincts. One should understand this and not judge it on the basis of beauty. It's better not to judge at all, just observe, listen and communicate. That way we'll come to something constructive, useful, and who knows, maybe even clever...
!ALIVE
@josediccus! You Are Alive so I just staked 0.1 $ALIVE to your account on behalf of @stdd. (1/10)
The tip has been paid for by the We Are Alive Tribe through the earnings on @alive.chat, feel free to swing by our daily chat any time you want.
You're right, it's better not to judge on basis of beauty, but we definitely know that there are people who does this, I think before we can establish compatibility, we have understand tolerance and acceptance.
This part really got me and made me understand so many things. This is why it's so hard for people to go through self discipline, because we all just want instant gratification, even when we know it will hurt us in the long run. The present is truly king and we prioritize it so much.
And yes, we also like to expect from others the standards we ourselves don't meet. Those that want to marry rich guys or girls don't have anything in their account.
It just makes us know how much people love great things and wish to have them, but are not willing to pay the price to become what they wish for in others.
Thanks for this post.
Haha you're right, we have more people who are overly expectant of others to meet the standards they themselves cannot meet, it's double standards and one of the reasons why people don't tolerate or appreciate others irrespective of the efforts they're putting in. In life, even if we match the standards of what we want, it doesn't mean we have to enforce it on people in other to be friends with them or be in their lives. Circumstances change, life do too and we have to remember this.
Thanks for coming through.
I agree 👍
You're welcome 😊