STDs, Staphylococcus, and Stamina—Thank You, Dr. Igodo!

Nigerians are the funniest set of people when it comes to selling their market. I think one reason for this is because deep down we know that if we don’t sell our market, we are not going to see food to eat for the day.

So the antics and zeal that we use to advertise are driven by the urge to survive in this broken economy. When you remember that if nobody buys your bread, you will not see bread to eat, suddenly the rays of the sun hitting you from all angles while you run to the next car with their windows down, hawking your goods to them, don’t feel so harsh anymore.

You are then forced to become creative in order to sell in a way that people will buy. When I think of funny ways people have sold their products, the memory of the fish pie guy is the first thing that comes to mind. I’m sure Naijans on here know his story, but I’ll reiterate for those of us that don't.

Basically, this guy sells fish pie to people on the road. He carries his basket of fish pie on his head and walks all around the town with the goal to sell off everyone of them. But what got people talking was the unique way he sells it.

He would walk around singing the words, “Fishhhhhhh Pieeeeeeee, Nawaaaa oooooo, Some people too do ooooooo”. The way he sang it in a high-pitched tone got people laughing, and soon he became famous for it from a video that was taken of him and posted online.

And sure enough, the guy is doing well for himself financially.

Another scenario of an advertisement I find very funny; some Nigerians might also know this one as well: the infamous Dr. Igodo Goko Cleanser😄. Apparently this cleanser, which is sold as a “detoxifier” in liquid form, has the ability to cleanse out any and all toxins in the human body.

It can also clear out any bacterial, fungal, or viral infection. That’s not all. As a man, do you have a problem with getting an erection or any other sex-related issues? This drink is your one-stop weapon for them. How exactly this one miracle drink heals all ailments is what we might never get to understand😄.

Nonetheless, the reason I find it hilarious is the wording is put and delivered. You would typically come across these products in the market or at bus parks. And trust me, you don’t even have to look too hard; you will hear it before you see it.

These people usually put speakers with already-made recordings of the promo. They’d blast the recordings through these speakers, and innocent you, who probably came to buy something unrelated, will be forced to be entertained with the animated voice of a man shouting

“Dr. Igodo Goko Cleanser!
E dey fight all the ogbonge infection wey dey your body
Oyibo people dey call am STI or STDs—sexually transmitted infection.
E dey fight both Staphylococcus aureus, Streptococcus aureus, and all the other aureuses wey dey disturb your body.

Or are you a man wey go climb the bed, after one minute you don come down.
Your woman go dey ask you, Oga, you don finish?
If you drink Dr. Igodo Goko Cleanser, you go dey on top the bed so tey madam go tire.”

Don’t ask me why I know all the wording😅😅. After a while of going to the market and hearing this almost every day, you’ll eventually be forced to learn it without your permission😅.

So that’s it, guys. Please share with me any funny advertisements that got you cackling and wondering at the same time in the comments below.

You can also write about it in the week’s edition of HIVE NAIJA WEEKLY PROMPTS; you don’t have to be a Nigerian to participate!

Images used are mine...