Financial hurdles and all that
It has been a rough couple of weeks for me. I've been battling with anxiety, haemorrhoids and, trying To get my shit in order to make sure I don't end up completely poor can be a daily struggle but I try to keep my head up.
I refer to myself as financially "semi-dependent". While I no longer have the privilege of an allowance, I don't get to spend on gas and food like most dependent people. I live with my parents and family most time so my ass gets the proper coverage when I have no money.
Regardless of that fact, my independent mind doesn't seem to want to sit still. I could just chill, not do anything meaningful with my life and still be alright but I, unfortunately, don't know how to do that.
Asides from the fact that I always tend to find random activities to keep me busy, I always have to pause and restructure coz the goal is PRODUCTIVITY and not just being BUSY.
These past couple of days have been tough. I haven't had a lot of productive activities that place some cash in my pockets so I've been simply busy doing shit that brings no immediate cash to my pocket.
To an extent, I shouldn't feel bad because I've been mastering my product design skill and I've generally gotten really good. However, my need to solve immediate problems doesn't let me stay focused.
I took a $20 loan from my mom today and I hate how horrible it makes me feel. While I understand that at my age, it's okay for me to take money from my parents it just feels like I'm an ungrateful person.
They don't feel weird about it or act like I'm making a request that's out of the ordinary, yet I know I should be better than that.
There's a major recession creeping in in my country and other countries and I can't help but still worry because I know things are going to get worse really soon and there's nothing I can do at this point to give my finances the needed boost.
I remember how we anticipated this recession last year and even write posts on how we would do things differently. Well, I haven't done shit and it keeps biting my ass.
I guess I just needed to rant and let out my emotions in some way. It's really not a nice feeling not having my shit together but yeah, I'm working on it.
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I appreciate your knowledge that it's best to be independent and also that you put effort into it.
Sending you healing thoughts and best wishes, may your opportunities come when you are feeling good and ready to tackles them!
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Amen to that. Thank you!
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I see you are really trying to be independent and I can also relate to the issue of maybe asking people for money but mama, those times would come once in a while too so don't feel too horrible about it, alright?
The state of the nation ain't making anything encouraging, it has affected everyonw in one way of the other. But we march on nevertheless!
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Oh love,
I can totally relate to how you feel.
Sometimes, I just want to get away from all the stress and struggle that comes with this stage of our lives.
Sometimes I reassure myself that I am trying and that's all that matters.
And on days I feel like crap, I take a break, so I can come back feeling refreshed another day.
I remind myself that I am my own competition hence, it is completely okay to take it at my own pace.
In the end, the important thing is progress is being made regardless of how little it might be.
You are doing great Karina.
You are one lady I admire, and I genuinely like her pure energy on and off Hive.
Take it easy hun!
Sending you big hugs + I'll hug you when next I see you!😉
I take breaks but then anxiety creeps in. Like, I don't have the privilege of chilling or letting my mind just settle coz money has to be made and well, spent.
While these fears don't keep me up at night, they come up whenever I have to spend money 😆.
Thank you... I'll take you up on that hug offer pretty soon.
That's indeed a fair point!
But for me, I cannot even get my head right, if I am overwhelmed..
I need to take a step back so I can take 2 steps forward.
It could be for a day, or even a few hours of nap or a few minutes if walk, just to clear my head.