A brief life update

This has been the longest break I've taken from writing since I became consistent in 2020 and I feel terrible. I've missed writing but life has got me in a chokehold. But here's an update since the last time I wrote in October 2023.

I got two jobs. I figured I could handle both jobs while maintaining a few hobbies but that has been near impossible. I wish I had more time but I unfortunately don't.

Writing had always been my release but it was a release that required a certain level of peace that I haven't been able to achieve for a while now.

Regardless, I'd love to share a few life updates. I've found myself mulling over this particular piece for days now; writing whenever I find myself in a state where there's a semblance of peace, hoping that I can arrange my train of thought.

I picked up badminton around September last year and have improved remarkably at it. It has successfully been one of the hobbies I've utilised to maintain some sanity while I trudge on with work every single day.

I also picked up reading once again as I found myself in a state where I couldn't quiet my mind so I decided to let it travel through words on pages. Reading and writing evoke different emotions and feelings within me. While writing is a release, reading is an escape.

Stepping away from my hobbies, I recently got a new laptop. It cost a lot more than I imagined I would be able to afford but we made it happen. It was such a huge relief because my previous laptop had gotten to its breaking point. My level of use had surpassed its ability.

I was hoping that I'd subsequently get a new phone but I don't think that will be possible anytime soon. The cost of living has thrown my partner and me off course a little so we know we won't be able to afford as much luxury as we'd have hoped.

I've also been forced to make many adjustments to my plans. While the goal remains the same; to relocate to a different country, the general plans have changed and are constantly being adjusted.

Haven seen through my brother's eyes the stress involved in surviving in the UK, I had to think again. My life at the moment isn't exactly tough so I don't plan on going anywhere that might force me to struggle a lot more than I already am.

The only problem with this is that all other options are extremely expensive. Hence our decision to extend the timeframe of our plans. It's frustrating but it is what it is.

This year also began with some life and lifestyle altercations both self-inflicted and otherwise. I've been dealing with a lot of thoughts, fears and concerns but I'm learning to calm down and focus on the present. I always love to plan and my current inability to do that makes me worry.

I've tried to maintain a fair amount of societal engagement and I'm hoping I'll be able to keep doing that regardless of my fears. I concluded that I need to constantly feed both sides of myself; the introvert and extrovert, to stay sane. However, sometimes, the introvert overfeeds and I begin to hate myself.

The only regret I have right now is my inability to continue my YouTube channel. I had so much planned, so many topics set aside to research and a few videos in the works but I stopped everything to focus on what could feed me immediately.

I feel bad that I'm unable to pursue my passion due to a need to make money. I hate that it's a privilege that I'm not privy to because, honestly, work is truly depressing.

I spent the entire Yuletide season working. I spent every day taping away on my laptop without a single 24-hour break. And I'm not complaining, it's easy work and the pay is amazing but I miss when life was simpler and I earned a lot less, had fewer responsibilities and did work that made me happy.

They call this growth but I don't know. I think about my siblings and how we're all slaving away just to make these non-existent ends meet and it breaks my heart. Our lives were so much simpler 2 years ago.

That being said, I'm grateful. I'm earning more than most and working from home. I understand that a lot of people would kill for the privilege that I have and I don't take that for granted. But there's nothing wrong with wanting more.

I'm glad I had a chance to do this today. I don't know when next I'll get this chance again but I'm hoping it won't be another 3-month break.

As always, good luck to you and wish me luck too!