THE SOCIAL MEDIA AWARDS!

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Gooooooooood day ladies and gentlemen of Hive and welcome to the first (and possibly only) edition of the social media awards!!!

This promises to be the event of the year that no one knows about.
There'll be excitement, thrills, plot twists and most importantly... USELESS TROPHIES!

Dear reader, you might be confused as to what this award show actually entails.
The social media awards is basically an event in which various social media platforms are presented with awards to recognize their impact on society.

There are a slew of different categories and we'll get to them soon, right after this commerical break. Stay tuned.

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Aaanndd we're back
It's time for what no one has been waiting for...
Let the award giving begin!

🏆MOST LIKELY TO DIE SOON AWARD🏆

This prestigious award will be given to the social media that's on life support, the one that has the lowest chance of surviving. In a few years to come, the recipient of this award will not be relevant anymore, and even if people are still using it, it'll be them desperately clinging on to the dead corpse.

Former recipients of this award include Myspace, palmchat and most notably... 2go.
RIP.

Nominees: Snapchat, Twitter, Facebook

And the winner is....

✨FACEBOOK!✨

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If Facebook is not dead already, it soon will be.
Barely anyone uses it anymore.

Now you might be wondering why Twitter was a nominee when it's probably the most popular.

That's simple
If Twitter is going to die, it's not gonna be because it goes down in popularity
It's gonna be because Elon Musk kills it.

🏆WORST CONTENT AWARD🏆

This award is given to the social media with the stupidest content. The kind of content that kills brain cells and makes you curse humans for creating technology.

Nominees: Tiktok, Facebook, Twitter

And the winner is...

✨TIKTOK!✨

This app has got to have some of the most pointless and intelligence killing content I've ever encountered.

Of course there are talented people on tiktok too,
but the difference is the ratio of talented to untalented people compared to other social media is ridiculous.

For every one good content creator, you'd see 200 cringe ones.

You'd literally see someone shaking their head for a minute or another person pointing to a few words and that's the entire video.
Who gave these people phones!!?!

🏆DATA SUCKER AWARD🏆

This award is reserved for the social media that feasts on your data like the average American feasts on chicken.

The only way you open this social media with true peace of mind is when you're on WiFi or using someone else's data.

The nominees are: Instagram, YouTube, Snapchat

And the winner is....

✨INSTAGRAM!✨

Little needs to be said about this data thief.
At least with YouTube, you can choose the lowest quality of video to watch.

If you're someone that does budget internet plans, Instagram will ruin you.

🏆MOST TOXIC SOCIAL MEDIA AWARD🏆

This award is given to the Social Media with the worst types of people.

A normal and we'll adjusted person stays away from this type of social media for peace of mind.

I'm sure you all know the social media I'm talking about, but for formality, I'd carry on with the ceremony.

The nominees are: Facebook, Twitter, Tiktok

And the unanimous winner is...

✨TWITTER!✨

Twitter's welcome page

The people on Tiktok and Facebook aren't so toxic as much as they are cringe.
But Twitter..
oh my gosh
The people on Twitter have deep rooted issues.
They are mostly insufferable and offended at every little thing.
And with the addition of Elon Musk as their leader, Twitter has become a Savage wasteland.

And now for the last, and most important award of the night....

🏆BEST COMMENT SECTION AWARD🏆

This prestigious award is given to the social media that has the funniest and most creative comment section.
The comment section that's oftentimes better than the post itself.

The nominees are: YouTube, Twitter, Tiktok.

This is gonna be a tough one as the nominees all have a solid case. But there can only be one winner.

And the winner is...

✨YOUTUBE!✨

This was a really tough one to decide.
All three could've taken this one.
But YouTube has a slight edge because the comments are genuinely always funny and wholesome.

While people on twitter comment sections are always trying to be unnecessarily mean and tiktok comment sections has a lot of bots.

CONCLUSION

And that wraps it up folks,
we have come to the end of the first edition of the SOCIAL MEDIA AWARDS.

I really hope you had fun, and if you didn't, that's your personal problem.

Tune in next time and remember...
Twitter sucks.

Thank you for reading.

Stay buzzing,

Maximus✍🏾