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Writing is a fundamental part of
life.
Everyone in their lives have written at one point in time, whether it's something as simple as your name or as complex as a mathematics exam.

In fact, everyone here on hive is a writer.

But,
There are levels to this writing thing.

Just as a child playing football on the street cannot be compared to Messi or Ronaldo, so a writer cannot be compared to a PROFESSIONAL writer.

Who then is a professional writer?
Well A professional writer is someone that writes for a living.
Or, to put it plainly, it's someone that needs to write to survive.

To us, writing is a hobby.
To them, writing is life.

Good examples of professional writers are Shakespeare, JK Rowling (Harry Potter) and Snoop Dogg.

Now I know a lot of us on this platform are interested in upgrading our status from writer to PROFESSIONAL writer.

But it is not an easy path.
Good thing I'm here to guide you😌

Now by no means am I a professional writer. No, I'm far too lazy for that.
But you know what I'm not lazy for...

✨UNNECESSARY RESEARCH✨

I have nobly taken it upon myself again at the request of absolutely nobody, to look into this matter.

I have gathered knowledge that no one asked me to gather for the sakes of the future Shakespeares reading this.
And I believe I have come to a logical set of steps that can help you to reach that goal of pro writer.

So make sure you grab your pens, laptops, feathers or whatever you use to write and pay close attention.

It's time for the breakdown.

STEPS TO BECOMING A PROFESSIONAL WRITER

1. BE DEPRESSED

There's a correlation between depression and great literature.
Some of the greatest writers in history were extremely depressed.
And that's just how it is.

If you want to be a professional writer, you have no time to waste on silly emotions like joy and hope.

If you're happy, you'll probably want to go outside and again life. And everyone knows professional writers don't do that.
Pro Writers stay at home all day, writing and feeling sorry for themselves.

And depression helps with that.

2. REPLACE ALL DRINKS WITH COFFEE

The best time for inspiration is usually in the middle of the night, like 3am time, where normal people are asleep.
But pro writers are not normal people, they have to be awake to tap into that inspiration.
If you keep drinking lame drinks like water and soda, how will you stay awake.

The only drink you should be concerned about as a pro writer is the brown nectar, liquid energy, the elixir of life.... COFFEE.

With coffee, you'll be awake and sleep deprived enough to get as much inspiration as you need.

3. DO THE MOST UNNECESSARY RESEARCH

Now this one I have in the bag 😌
The art of unnecessary research is a tricky one.
You need to be able to find the balance between pointless information and useless facts.

For example, Did you know that it is impossible to lick your elbow?

Now you know.

Will I ever use this information... No

Is it taking up valuable space in my brain... Yes.

But it's a sacrifice professional writers have to make.

4. HAVE CRIPPLING SELF DOUBT

So you want to be a professional writer and you believe in yourself?

You're hilarious.

If you believe in yourself, you become too confident and if you become too confident, you become less careful in reviewing your work.

You'd think you're the King, meanwhile you're just the stable boy.

Pro Writers do not believe in themselves, they usually just have someone that loves their work.
Any little compliment they receive, boom, they cling to the person like Facebook clings to your personal information.

5. SEEK VALIDATION FROM PEOPLE

You want to be a Pro writer and you don't care what people think?
Who is gonna read your work??
You better care.

And remember, if someone doesn't like your work,
it's your fault and you suck.

6. HAVE NO FRIENDS

Professional writers don't need friends, they have the voices in their heads.

7. GET REPLACED BY BETTER TALENT

Writing is very competitive, especially when there's money involved.

Newer and better writers are emerging and the worst thing is... they're young...
So people will probably kick your old ass away in favor of fresh talent.

As a writer, you can always be replaced, except Snoop Dogg, no one can replace him.

I mean, have you seen these lyrics:

Slow down
Slow your role, junior
Slow down, slow down (slow down)
Slow your role, junior
Source

If that's not lyrical genius, I don't know what is.

And there you have it folks, the infallible and reliable process to becoming a professional writer. Now of course there are some small things like "write daily" or "learn new words" or "read every day"
But those are not that important.

The truly important things are what I listed above.
As long as you follow them, you'll be a professional writer in no time at all.

But in case you're not feeling too inspired by the steps listed, I have taken it upon myself to collect some of the most inspiring quotes by some of the greatest professional writers out there.
I'm pretty sure once you read these, you'll definitely be determined to go professional with this writing.

Enjoy!

• "I should be happy, but instead I feel nothing. I feel a lot of nothing these days. I've cried a few times, but mostly I'm empty, as if whatever makes me feel and hurt and laugh and love has been surgically removed, leaving me hollowed out like a shell."
  by Jennifer Niven - Author of All the Bright Places

• “You see I usually find myself among strangers because I drift here and there trying to forget the sad things that happened to me.”
  by F. Scott Fitzgerald - Author of The Great Gatsby

• "I bear the dungeon within me; within me is winter, ice, and despair; I have darkness in my soul."
  by Victor Hugo - Author of The Hunchback of Notre-Dame

• "That terrible mood of depression of whether it's any good or not is what is known as The Artist's Reward."
  by Ernest Hemingway - Author of The Old Man and the Sea

• "To perceive is to suffer."
  by Aristotle

As you can see, writers are happy, well adjusted and never depressed. So following this path is definitely the right choice.
So to all the upcoming professionals reading this...

Good luck.

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Thank you for reading.

Stay buzzing,

Maximus✍🏾