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There are a lot of things that suck in this life:

Computer viruses
Tiktok
Politicians and so on

But when it comes to the suckiest of sucky things, only a few things come close to examinations.
These things called exams have damaged me physically, mentally and emotionally.

Why do examinations even exist?!
Why can't you just trust me that I've read my book and give me my grade? Why must you test me?

You're telling me that I have to read multiple courses and put them all in my brain??
I literally forget people's names 5 minutes after meeting them. How am I supposed to store that much information?

Year by year, innocent students are being tormented and traumatized by examinations.
Examinations are the second leading cause of pain in a student's life. (Number one is lack of money).
And all of this is the fault of one man – HENRY FISCHEL.

This tyrant, this sadist, this monster was the inventor of examinations.
If you needed someone to blame (or curse), this is the guy for you.
Because I don't know why someone would sit down and of all things in this life, decide to invent something that will cause pain to innocent kids for decades to come.
His mates were inventing helicopters and penicillin – useful things!
But noooo, this asshole decided to invent pain.

Henry Fischel inventing exams

Now, to all students reading this, please be very creative with your curses. We have persevered and someone must suffer the pain examinations have caused us.
I'm sure his descendants are also cursing him because they had to write examinations too.

So when y'all wanna curse him, look to the ground and fire away.
Now I'm not saying he is in hell, but he's definitely not in heaven.

Just for good measure, I'll give you the name of the other lunatic that invented homework – Roberto Nevelis.
There you have it, two of the worst people in history.

Now you might be wondering, why this burning hate for examinations?
The answer is simple... Examinations are flawed and outdated.
And no, I'm not saying this because I just finished writing exams that almost killed me, no. I'm saying it because it's the truth.

Think about it,
We're in an age where basically everything you could ever want to know is free on the internet and yet we have to take exams based on the most things we can cram into our brain?
This stupid thing is why someone who brings a phone into the Hall and cheats can get a higher score than someone who reads for days.
It's because exams are not a matter of understanding but just cramming.
We're in an age where technology and practicals are running the world, and the problem with most schools is that they only want to read about technology and practicals instead of actually practicing.

If I read all about a phone for years and I don't actually practice building one, I'll not be able to build it. Simple as that. Even worse, the phone I read about will be obsolete.
The world keeps upgrading
Knowledge keeps upgrading
Technology keeps upgrading

So what do you expect from schools that only does reading and reading and reading; they set exams based on reading and reading and reading.
And unfortunately, my school is one of those schools 😭
I read... O lawd! I read
The amount of information I crammed into my head would make Google jealous.

Have you ever read and after reading, you could actually feel that your head added weight, as in, it's heavier... That's how I felt after reading.
After each exam, my head felt lighter. Why? Because instead of my brain being a fountain of knowledge, this school has turned it into a barrel of pointless information.
I fill the barrel, I write exam and empty the barrel, brain formatted, ready for next barrel filling.
Is this what I have become!!!

If you put a gun to my head and told me to tell you at least 30% of what I've read, I'd probably just pull the trigger myself.
Even Jon snow knows more than me.
The fact that I'm going through all this stress for something that's not even preparing me for the real world is funny.
And the sad thing is, it's going to be like this for a while.

Quite frankly, we're all screwed.
But! I'm not a person that complains without offering solutions, so solutions I shall offer.
Below are some of the best ways to fight this examination plague.

1. LET STUDENTS SWEAR BY THE GODS THAT THEY HAVE READ

The point of examinations is to confirm whether a student has adequate knowledge of the courses taught right?
So why go through all the stress of setting questions, printing questions, invigilating, collating, marking, recording and all that
Just let the students swear by the gods that they have read.
If they have, nothing will happen.
If they haven't, they'll probably be struck down by thunder.
Either way, it's a win-win for the School.
They are saved a lot of stress and they get rid of the dumbass liar students.

2. LET LECTURERS WRITE EXAMS TOO

The fact that students are taking multiple courses while like 3 lecturers are teaching one course is bad enough, but it's even worse when that lecturer does not know what the hell he's teaching, Students will now be forced to rely on textbooks and Indian guys on YouTube.
Let lecturers take a separate exam to show that they know what they are doing and if they fail, students get to flog them or something.

3. 10 MINUTES OF FREE CHEATING

I think students deserve this at least. They've tried.
This ain't too much to ask for mehn.
Some of us actually read, but our brains are too overloaded to remember some things or we jumble up some things. So I feel like giving us 10 minutes to just discuss and remember some things.
I mean some schools abroad do open exams where you can bring books and even phones inside.
10 minutes of discussion is not too much to ask na.
Right?

CONCLUSION

Exams suck.
And I want to start a petition against it.
Let us all protest and boycott exams.
Although if I have exams I'll still write.
I've gone too far to take this risk, but y'all can try Sha.
I'll support you from the exam hall.
Good luck and may God help us all.

Thank you for reading.

Stay buzzing,

Maximus✍🏾