An Anxious Wreck

Adjusting to a new city is one thing, adjusting to a whole other country is another. I would have loved to have an easier landing here, I mean, so far it's great overall, but personally I've mostly been on the edge. I've been thinking about work and school so much that I sunk myself into a hole. It's worse because I don't want my worries to be so overwhelming that it shows, so I hide my emotions.

Keeping it all inside makes my chest want to burst open and my anxiety seems to be having a fun time coming back. I'm not pressed about the job rejections I've gotten so far because it's not my first rodeo, I was pissed (or worried rather) because the menial jobs didn't get back to me.

There's dignity in labour and I don't look down on such jobs but it was surprising to see that I had to write a CV for plate washing and didn't even get a call back. Where I come from, you don't need a CV for that so you can say I had a bit of a culture shock.

I've heard how it might take weeks or months to get a job but I didn't expect to be unlucky. I started feeling unlucky when I saw most of the jobs are either not recruiting part-time, or they're too far away. The time I almost had a job to begin asap, my term letter from my school was not ready to back up the employment requirement.

Staying indoors was becoming tiring and that's a weird thing for a couch potato to say, so you know how bad I was having it. I applied for a volunteering role that I hoped would keep me busy but it wasn't an immediate start. Well, it's exactly 2 weeks since we arrived Nottingham and I finally landed a job.

I'm only a bit relieved, at least, I'm going to earn. My mind and heart is still racing. Headaches are back and my sleep is messed up because of how mentally stressed I've been. My current sleep pattern might not be bad after all because I'm starting with a night shift. I chose a night shift because I didn't want to walk out by 4am to meet up with the morning shift. I'll see how it goes, hopefully I get another job with better timing.