TOLERANCE: USING MY EXPERIENCE WITH MY ROOMMATE IN THE UNIVERSITY AS SUBJECT MATTER

Flashback to when I was in the University, I had a roommate that we lived like cat and dog for the first one year. We were best of friends when we first met in our first year in the school hostel, so we decided to rent and apartment together off-campus in our second year. The first year of staying together could be likened to the relationship of a cat and dog where they always have to fight.

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Not to bore you with too much rhetorics. We didn't find it easy to tolerate each other due to so many reasons that we grew to notice over time. She is a different person entirely, she has what she likes and dislikes, I have what I like and dislike. Definitely, there are going to be clashes of interests.

Let me share some instances of what made us have difficulties in coming to terms with each other quick enough. I love to sleep early and I enjoy sleeping with the lights off. On our first night together, when I was feeling sleepy I "unanimously" decided to switch the lights off (well, I assumed she was going to be sleeping soon too). She got angry and expressed her mind that she would not be sleeping till around 12am because she wants to read and she doesn't go to bed with the lights off.

It was a hell of a night for me because I had to just cope with it. I didn't burst out because it was our first night, however, on several occasions we clashed.

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As time goes by, I noticed she loves to read at night, unlike me that does my studying in the school library before coming home. I use my day to study and my night to sleep. I wake up early in the morning to do my reading and that's where she have to react. I start making sounds which may be disturbing at the time she's trying to catch some sleep - she slept late obviously, so she will be sleeping when I'm awake. Hmm.

Apart from that, we had issues with food and cooking. She's a person that is fond of returning home late while I come home after lectures - I don't really have much to do on campus after lectures and studying. So, this means I would have cooked before she came back. This happened several times and I was fed up because I was feeling like I'm being used.

So, sometimes I intentionally do not cook, in order to spite her or I will cook and wash dishes before she returns (covers face). On one or two occasions like that we slept without eating. I know understood that if I didn't cook, this babe wouldn't cook. However, I got to understand that her schedule is different from mine and she's functioning as an exco in the department. This means she might come back home exhausted, so she's not just being wicked.

It is not easy to be tolerant. Most times we let our experiences and our view about life to cloud and judgments and we don't try to see things in other people's worldview. However, tolerance is a skill that if learnt can bring peace to our coexistence and avert a lot of crisis in our lives.

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Below are some tips that could be used to develop tolerance for others

• The first thing is to take charge of how you feel. It is impossible for you to feel hurt, heartbroken or upset without your approval. It is only you that have the power to feel a kind of way. When you have this in mind you'd be able to tolerate people's excesses.
• Ignorance can also be a reason why we do not tolerate people. The lack of understanding about a person could lead us to thinking what they are doing is aimed at hurting us, hence, we start acting to them in like manner. Learning about people, their dos and don'ts among others would help to increase the ability to tolerate and accept them as they are.
• Develop the ability to bend your rules and see things in another person's view

Tolerating people would also affect your life positively because you will also be happy and not always moody or keeping malice.