Heartbreak Chronicles

Love is definitely one of the most profound and beautiful emotions we humans experience in our lifetime, probably because of the sense of belonging, connections, and joy it brings; however, despite how awesome love is, it leaves those in it vulnerable to heartbreak, which can be depressing due to the pain felt from the shattered hope, bringing about emptiness and the likes. I've tasted what it feels like to be in love, and I've also tasted heartbreak, and in this article I'll be telling you about my heartbreak experience and how I dealt with it.

Love is definitely one of the most profound and beautiful emotions we humans experience in our lifetime, probably because of the sense of belonging, connections, and joy it brings; however, despite how awesome love is, it leaves those in it vulnerable to heartbreak, which can be depressing due to the pain felt from the shattered hope, bringing about emptiness and the likes. I've tasted what it feels like to be in love, and I've also tasted heartbreak, and in this article I'll be telling you about my heartbreak experience and how I dealt with it.

Talking from experience, believe me, heartbreak isn't easy to deal with, and the way we handle it on most occasions is a testament to how much we're in love, how well we can handle our emotions, and several other factors, to name but a few. Although depending on how some relationships end, some will see the heartbreak as an opportunity to start again; for some, the same isn't the case, as they tend to see it as the end, even giving up on their ideal of falling in love again for fear of experiencing the same again.

I found myself in the later set of people, probably because when it comes to love, I've been a victim of heartbreak twice. My first heartbreak happened several years ago. I was madly in love with this fine young woman who, already from the first day I saw her, I was already seeing my wife and mother of my kids in her. That's to show how much I think about her and cherish her.

Fortunately, when I approached her, things went well, as she felt the same way for me, and that's how we began a relationship. I was not just close to her but also her family, but things went south on one fateful evening when she was called home by her mom to attend a church program. Upon coming back from the church program, she just told me plainly and clearly that she wanted a breakup because the pastor in the church her mom took her to said we're not compatible.

It was funny at first, because it sounded somehow in my ears, but then when I saw the seriousness in her eyes, I couldn't help but just plead and say, Why depends on what a pastor said? Why not pray to God yourself and hear from him? Given the fact that we didn't have any misunderstanding prior to that, it was a difficult pill to swallow, but I just accepted my fate and let her go.

I was heartbroken, angry with God if truly he was the one who showed the pastor what the pastor said. Well, I was still grieving from the hurt and refusing to go into another relationship when this same lady got into another relationship and got married. I must say that even though this sounds evil, it was her experience in the relationship that gave me the strength to move on, because just a year into the marriage, they divorced, and I just see the situation that I'm not the problem after all.

So I moved on and had love another change again, and this time, even though I tried to be conscious, things still went south at a time when I least expected it. It was one of those days when I was 100 kilometers away from her, but that fateful day I decided to pay her a surprise visit, but on arriving at her place, I was the one who ended up being surprised, having stepped into her house, seeing her in the act with someone.

This was even a fat more hurtful experience than my first experience. There and then I considered many things, but at the end of the day, I just walked out, knowing fully well that the relationship is over. Since that particular experience about 6 years ago, I've totally abstained from anything that has to do with love, relationships, and the likes.

I guess you don't need to ask why because it's obvious, but if you want to hear it from me, then it's for no other reason than the fear of being hurt again. You can also say I've developed a phobia for love, and that's how I've been dealing with things since that experience. Once I notice I'm having deep feelings for anyone, you'll just find me creating a distance between myself and such a person; out of fear of what such feelings can lead to, I'll stop talking to them, calling, and anything that'll give room for such feelings to develop.

Although recently I'm trying to give love a try again, it's worth noting that I'm very skeptical about it and won't be giving it my total commitment even if I do, well, it's still up for debate if I will or won't in the end, but that's my state at the moment.

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All photos are mine.

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