Thoughts no longer overwhelm me so much

My mind is quite restless, much more restless than my body, millions of times more. I can stand still for a long time but my mind is much more mischievous and finds it hard to take a break, this is sometimes good, sometimes not.

I remember that once I had to solve a series of geometry problems when I was studying at the university and I was stuck on a problem for hours, I kept turning it over and over and I did not understand how a subject that could seem so simple had become so complicated.

After several attempts and many hours of forcing myself to solve the issue I decided to forget about it for a while and continue my day as normal, chatting with my sisters or listening to music. Suddenly, it was almost magical how hours after I had stopped thinking about the issue, the solution came to my mind in a totally clear and simple way. Wow! I felt so much relief and happiness and, fortunately, this was not the first time that something similar happened to me in other matters of my life, so I concluded that the mind needs both activity and rest.

So I think that thinking too much has its advantages, it helps us to find solutions and also to look at some situations from different perspectives, however, an excess of overwhelming thoughts can be a real problem that instead of helping us can cause more problems. Stress is already a serious matter that we should not take lightly.

My mind tends to get entangled in many issues, however, over the years I have made it a point to relax and have a more relaxed and calmer mental activity, without that meaning to let everything happen as a matter of chance.

I remember some years ago when I worked in customer service in a satellite TV company, my supervisor went on vacation and trained me for a few days to leave me in charge during her absence and consequently I had some power and decision power in some matters.

A very upset customer complained because he paid to watch a movie for a full day and the movie was not activated, the customer service agent who was taking care of that person came to me to help with the case. I with so many things on my mind, I did the cancellation of the movie since only the supervisors could do that procedure and I thought “that's easy, problem solved”.

It was not until after a while that I remembered that I had not done all the pertinent validations before performing such a procedure. An essential validation was that the client had to be in Postpaid mode to perform such procedure and this was essentially for billing and reimbursement issues.

I was in a hurry and overwhelmed by so many things, perhaps also by nerves, which I tried not to prove, I did not make such validation and simply canceled the movie, it turns out that this customer was in Prepaid mode and such procedure should not be performed to such customers as the refund system was very complex in these cases.

Well, you can't imagine how I suffered in my mind thinking about the consequences of that mistake, I spent several days thinking about it, thinking first that I would look ridiculous in front of my superiors, besides that surely the case would appear in the error report and everyone would find out increasing my ridicule. I had done many good things at work, the supervisor had chosen me to take over her position during her absence for a reason, but that mistake could cost me dearly, I thought.

To be honest, I did not go to my superiors to tell them what had happened, I thought that at any moment they would make a complaint and the corresponding sanction. I went on with my work, trying to do my best, but the matter did not leave my mind.

I thought about calling my supervisor and inviting her to lunch and telling her what had happened, telling her that I was very sorry and that I did not deserve the responsibility she entrusted me with. I imagined many dialogues, ways of saying what had happened and my mind was getting more and more tangled.

But... What finally happened?

Well, I tell you that this case stayed like that, it did not appear in the error report, nor did the client call back to complain, nor did I tell my supervisor, much less invite her to lunch to tell her the news. It went totally unnoticed.

Overall, they were satisfied with my work and there were no complaints about my performance. Only with the passage of time I felt a little sorry for the client who paid for a movie that he could not see, but it was something that I could not solve and it was not the end of the world, things happen.

During those days I almost drowned in a glass of water, and if I could have been honest from the beginning and assumed my mistake, I probably wouldn't have gone beyond a reprimand, but instead I worried too much about a small matter when I could have used that mental energy in something productive, creative or recreational.

Now, I don't deny, many times I get caught up in my thoughts but I have also learned to let go of situations more.

A good practice to relax the mind, in my experience, is Pranayama breathing which is basically breathing through one nostril, closing the other nostril with your thumb and then breathing through the other nostril. There is a lot of information about this on the Internet, so if you want to delve into this practice you will get a lot of information about it.

Having a very restless mind can bring us many ideas, solutions and even creativity, but it can also become unnecessarily entangled and cause us a lot of harm. Balance is always best.

This paper is inspired by the proposal of Hive Naija Weekly Prompt | Edition 84.

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