We become the stories, we tell ourselves!!

It's often the case where we end up believing that we are hard to understand.. At least I believed that and felt that I am someone who is hard to love or be around with.. But recently being at home what I realised is that being misunderstood doesn't really decrease the size of our heart.. We will still increase our capacity to love or be loved.. We will always try to give our best above 100%.. One thing I had read somewhere which I feel is true, "We become the stories, we tell ourselves"..

Don't worry, not going to be a philosophical post.. Just sharing the random thought that came across me this morning..

These days I'm trying to spend less time in my head and trying to concentrate more on the body.. The accident has left a bad bad feeling.. I had a test on 26th April.. Sadly the reports weren't in my favour, but it's not all bad.. I have to stop working for a month at least and stay home as much as possible.. Or I could end up losing my left leg.. More like I can effort to put more stress on the leg or spine.. I had done a mistake of working on 24th which resulted in things getting a little bad... But if I take proper care for the next 3 weeks, things can get better.. As of now, the entire concentration is to save the left leg..

So basically what the steroid injections did was heal me a bit but also gifted me with diabetes.. And so now I need to be extra careful with what I eat, drink, etc.. Due to which now my care process has to be completely different.. I have been given a new diet plan for 10 days which should help me reduce the level of diabetes.. And the Doctor expects me to continue with the plan forever.. Sigh!!

My left leg is much better than before but if I stand for more than 30 minutes it starts hurting.. So I need to keep moving myself.. so my life right now goes like, sit max for 20 minutes, stand max for 20 minutes.. I have to try and sleep more to make sure my back and leg are fine.. Which means, "BYE BYE WORK"!!

It's not going to be easy to give up on work especially because this is the last season for us photographers.. From June its rains so there won't be work anyways.. Which means I'm basically jobless from March till August.. As of now my only source of income is HIVE, but I ain't doing well here either.. I understand the community expects me to post more of photography related stuff but not being able to carry the camera, I will have to stick to posting some old pictures that I haven't posted yet.. So forgive me for at least a month and hopefully you guys like the pictures I post..

As of now the only thing I keep asking my life to do is to go easy on me.. I feel like a gentle wave that's just trying his best not. to get pulled down by the undercurrent!!