You can keep your snortable coffe! 👃☕❌

Whenever we think we have seen it all, something new is created. Sniftable coffee, yes, sniftable coffee is one of the new inventions of these times, an invention that, if you ask me, is quite suspicious, but my friend Newman insists that it is good and wants me to try it... I don't want to try it! Why would it be fun to have coffee as if I were consuming some kind of drug?, it doesn't make sense!, there is already delicious liquid coffee and different ways of tasting coffee in desserts, why would anyone want to inhale it? My brain does not understand it, I don't think it would be delicious to inhale coffee, whoever wants to do it, it only occurs to me that it is to receive the effects of caffeine as such, otherwise, it does not feel pleasant to have things coming in through our noses. Am I being too radical?, I don't know, but this new invention does not convince me.

Newman, the friend I mentioned before, keeps insisting, according to him, it's quite an experience to inhale coffee and it's not at all like I imagine it to be, that it's delicious blah blah blah, crap!, I love my friend, but he's always been a bit strange, so I don't know whether to trust his judgment.... Something is not right here! I'm aware that in general many of the things we consume are full of chemicals, which is "normal", but more and more strange artificial chemicals are created that I question how harmful they will be to the body, of course, everyone chooses what to consume at their own risk and who knows, maybe that sniffable coffee isn't so bad, but it would be the last option of all.

One day that I went to Newman's house to watch a movie, when we finished watching it, he brought up the subject of sniffable coffee again, he really wanted me to try it, so tired of hearing so much about it and wanting him to leave me alone, I agreed to try it. We went to the central table of his kitchen, he proceeded to take out from one of the cabinets a small package, which was obviously full of powder inside. When he opened it, he placed it on the table and told me to inhale it just like people inhale certain types of drugs, how awful!, I felt attacked!, but I had already accepted, so without wanting to think too much about it, I breathed some of the brown powder that gave off a strong smell of coffee, but artificial coffee, does it make sense?, I don't know if it makes sense, but what I felt afterwards did not allow me to stop and analyze it too much.

As soon as I sniffed the coffee powder, I felt how my eyes turned back, I saw everything black for a few seconds, I couldn't breathe and part of the powder came out of my mouth. The intense flavor of artificial caffeine clouded my senses, I could not perceive anything properly, I started to feel dizzy and then I fell backwards. I remained seated on the floor for a few minutes, I did not get up and when I finally managed to react as I should, I asked Newman to give me a glass of water, I was seeing blurry, but I could tell he was worried. After drinking the water, I took a deep breath and shouted to Newman what I already knew in my heart: This sniftable coffee is horrible! Honestly, I felt angry that I had even tasted it, what kind of evil creation was that?, who thought of offending coffee like that?, I felt really outraged!

In my indignation, I stared at Newman and asked him what he really liked about that junk, a little embarrassed he told me that he liked not so much the taste, but the energy rush that inhaling it caused him. In a few words: he liked that it made him feel accelerated. Is my friend a kind of drug addict?, already caffeine in excess is counterproductive, I consider it was not necessary to create this abomination... Even though I did not understand the fun of this devilish powder and even less understand Newman, I decided to leave him alone, he already knew my opinion, I could not force him to stop inhaling what they want to call "sniffable coffee", ha!, just mentioning it makes me feel sarcastic.

Anyway, I told Newman that I wasn't going to sniff that anymore, that I didn't even want to see that powder and that I hoped it would fail so it would soon be taken off the market. He looked at me thoughtfully and then said, "it's really not that good". Wow, he finally got some oxygen to his brain! Well, not really, because then he told me that he was going to continue consuming it... I can't stand him, but you know, I'm sure that coffee won't succeed, mark my words.

Hey, my friends! It's been 2 months since the sniffable coffee was officially launched and guess what, it's almost not being sold anymore because it was a complete failure!, only a few people enjoyed it and when they found out that it was going to be discontinued so soon, they bought several stocks (oh Newman...). As for me, I'm glad to know that the majority of people did use their gray matter and did not let themselves be fooled or sickened by such a questionable product. Common, ordinary and liquid coffee keeps winning!