The Worry
My senses were developing sharply as I grew up, I wouldn't say like a cat's; however, I could sense certain things according to the events that were happening instantly.
Like the time I deduced that my father would pick me up from school when I was ten years old. He never did that because of his job; that was my sister's job, but that day I knew he was coming since I heard my sister's motorcycle was damaged.
But why did I think of him if I knew he was too busy to pick me up? It could have also been my brother who could have picked me up, but for some reason, the first person I thought of was my father.
I have a trait or skill in quickly defining people's personalities. When I meet someone, I am very analytical; as I am a quiet person, this almost mystical trait is instinctively activated, allowing me to examine the person from head to toe and understand the perspective of their countenance.
Thanks to this, I turned down a boy who only wanted to tease me. The boy was only approaching out of interest and it didn't take him long to show his true intentions. Like a cautious bird, I kept him at bay until he revealed what he wanted from me, so I blocked him from all social networks and deleted his contact number.
Many times I have the feeling that something will happen, not only with people but with upcoming events. I am a volatile person in thoughts; they are like phantom voices that are always whispering in my head and many times they make it difficult for me to rest.
I have this strange feeling like an entity stalking you, and you know something will happen that you already know about; like that time my boss summoned me to his office to tell me he was worried about me.
"You seem very disconnected," he said at the time, I clenched my fists in disappointment because I didn't want him to notice.
"What do you mean?" I asked him and swallowed hard. He looked at me with analytical eyes, trying to figure out from my body gestures what was going on in me.
"I just want to know if you're okay, you've been distracted lately," he asserted, I deduced he was going to make that kind of statement to me. "You've been wrong several times in your jobs and remember that any mistake we make can be fatal."
That's where the lunge hit the hardest. Although I had expected it, the shock of embarrassment was terrible for me. I felt pathetic at the time, as I didn't want my boss to notice my weakness, but then I remembered that he studied psychology and deduced that something was wrong with me.
After a few seconds, I responded.
"Don't worry! It won't happen again!" I replied energetically inhibiting any negative expression that was in me at the time. "I assure you it won't happen again, I'm just going through a phase."
He nodded his head. "If you want to talk about it you can count me in," he left me with a smile.
I nodded and then retreated to my office. I took a deep breath as if trying to get all my ills out, then I laid my head on my desk and chided myself within my thoughts.
You fool! You let this happen and now your job is at risk! Remember, it's all up to you. It would help if you fixed it.
I got up after venting, sighed, and continued with my work. After that day, I decided to relax my thoughts. I couldn't let them continue to dominate me no matter how right they were. I kept a definite balance between analyzing everything to deduce things and only thinking about things relevant to the moment.
I regained stability in my work, without overthinking. I kept myself steady, although sometimes I would falter with serious insomnia problems, but then I would recover and go back to my usual life. Within all those nagging thoughts I found the exact words that allowed me to move forward and deduced that thanks to this I would do well: "The only one who can get out of this, is yourself."
THE END
Deep feelings in here! I like em. I feel like it's the story of a superpower. It's pros and cons.
I am analitical somewhat, sometimes is very easy to get lost in my own narrative.
The same thing happens to me, I really don't know whether to call it a superpower, but it does have its positive things. Thank you very much for reading me.
You are quite right, my friend. Only we can offer each other the help we really need in the hardest moments. Best regards.
That's right, brother only we can help each other. Greetings.
Your negative experiences taught you to look to yourself, which seems to have been the right thing for you. Thank you for sharing your story with us in The Ink Well.
That's right, thank you very much for your comment.