In The Territory Of Guilt
In The Territory Of Guilt
“You can't change what happened, Efrain,” Ester said with a tiny spark in her eyes. She clenched her hands tightly and held on to her ideas. “I have come for you, but you do not want to return. The confinement has made you crazy, what did you do with your wings? You were so free that no one could reach you.”
Efrain didn't say anything, he just stayed inert on the bed. A shadow covered him, like a funeral veil or an invisible vampire that absorbed his energy. He closed and half opened his eyes as a sign that he just wanted to stay there. He longed for Ester to leave, his words were a nuisance to him. Again, he was trapped in that world.
Efrain's wings were engrossed in his back. His feathers became colorless and dry; they looked like bits of yellow autumn leaves. Ester couldn't believe it, but the reality was in front of her. A cry began to dominate her and tears wet her cheeks.
Her voice breaking, she tried again and yelled: "Rose is no longer with us!" Efrain opened his eyes and felt a pang in his chest when he heard that name. "She's dead, you have to face it or your whole existence will be lost... I miss her too, but we must move on... Nemo needs help too."
Ester took a step back. She felt afraid. She knew she couldn't bring up Nemo, but her desperation made her search for a reaction. Efrain turned around and looked at Ester with withering eyes. He tossed back his long black hair and revealed his face.
"I told you I never wanted to hear that name again!" Efrain claimed with a furious and fearsome voice.
“I know, but it's the only way you'll listen to me! You have to listen to the truth… It wasn't his fault, he just wanted to save Rose, please understand, remember that moment, and put the pieces together!”
Efrain slowly got up from the bed, his presence was intimidating; for he was very tall and stocky. His hands and his feet were huge and his voice sounded like the sentence of a mythical and bestial creature. Ester was scared because she knew that Efrain could seriously hurt her for mentioning Nemo, however, he remained inert and began to remember her.
Some time ago, Efrain fell from the sky and was unable to recover. His wings were useless when touching the ground of mortals. He was left wandering in the middle of a lonely forest for days until he arrived at Rose's cabin, where lived with her cousin Ester and her grandmother Regina.
Efrain's sudden presence scared those women, except Rose, who saw him hurt and decided to help him. They nursed him for days and he quickly learned to talk like humans. Efrain began to have a particular affinity for Rose; he adored her copper hair and her amber eyes, and he said that she was a daughter of the dawn.
Although it was forbidden for immortals, Efrain decided that he was in love with Rose, but her heart belonged to someone else: Nemo; a humble young man from the countryside with dreams higher than the heavens.
Even though Rose did not correspond to Efrain in the same way, he accepted it that way, and his wings began to recover and gain strength to rise again. But one day, things took a terrible and catastrophic turn.
There was a downpour that washed away the ridges from the hills and the rocks made an avalanche of mud and trees. Rose's cabin was in more danger because of her location, so they did their best to get out of there quickly. Ester and her grandmother managed to escape, but Rose was trapped.
Nemo came to help her, but the strong storm made it difficult to escape from it. Efrain realized it at the last minute and fought against the battery to go save Rose, but the attempts were in vain, the powerful current of water that had formed took the cabin with Rose inside. Nemo got out of there almost alive and Efrain was late, he could only watch everything happen.
“Please remember well! Nemo did his best, it wasn't your fault or his," Ester screamed, even with that pain in her chest.
Efrain's obfuscated body began to shine. His wings spread and regained their classic Argentine color. His face shone as if a beam of light illuminated him. Ester's eyes widened when she saw how Efraín raised his size; he was fascinating, but scary simultaneously.
Efrain took Ester in her arms and with outstretched wings crossed the wall. He flew at high speed, soaring over lakes and forests in the region. Ester looked down and began to tremble, then looked up and could see the sky so close she thought she could touch it with her fingertips.
Finally, Efrain landed in front of the cabin where Nemo now lives. When he heard the noise, he went out to see what was happening and the first thing he saw was Efrain's giant eyes. Nemo was scared, but only for a few seconds, he didn't feel any danger and when he saw Ester next to him, he began to get closer.
Efrain extended his hand as a sign of forgiveness, he knew that he was suffering too, and once they both made that last gesture, Efrain dissolved into a soft flurry of white feathers. Nemo, after so many days of excruciating pain and guilt, finally felt the cure of relief.
THE END
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Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.
It is such a beautiful feeling to know Efrain finally decided to forgive.
Yes, in the end, the ties that kept him in this world have been broken.
It is very nice that you let us feel what is going through the minds of all three people and share how they think. I also liked the descriptions very much, so I congratulate you. You have successfully expressed that you used your imagination while writing and that what you want to tell is not just a visual story, but that there is a sense of forgiveness behind it. I like how the wings have changed colors.
Congratulations. 👏👏
Thank you for your appreciation, it is a story that was born to me from that feeling, the rest was something that was born to me thanks to these dates; an inspiration for perfect.
There is a lyrical quality to this story. The theme of forgiveness is strong. One is reminded of myths where gods fall in love with mortals. Always, the mortals suffer. In your story, this is not the case. The god is not driven so blindly by hate that he strikes out. Rather, his loss persuades him to be compassionate. It is a lovely twist.
It seems that the translation caused some issues in the story that interfere with its flow. There is an occasional confusion of pronouns (this is quite common, especially in Spanish to English translations). Also, some phrases do not exactly serve your obvious intention (ex: A while ago, Efrain fell from the sky--literally correct, not it seems the best fit for your piece). We look past these technical difficulties because your writing is strong.
Thank you for sharing this story with us. We appreciate that you engage with other authors in the community.
Thanks for the observation, I think I have corrected it properly, I hope that with time I will know how to correct these things better. My best vibes to you.
Felicitaciones por tu post @universoperdido
Gracias @hiramdo