I've had enough....

Most of us have lived a lie, we grew up learning so many different things that weren't true like Santa Claus dropping gifts on Christmas eve or eating too much fruits would cause you to grow a tree on your head. Look at me arguing with my biology lecturer because she told be bunnies can't lay eggs, so where do Easter eggs come from.

I've been told a lot of lies and it pains me that I have to figure out the truth on my own. For example, did you know you can get a girl pregnant by being intimate with her!!! I know shocking. I always thought the storks delivered babies, all you just had to to was write a letter to them telling them the sort of baby you want.

Get this, apparently if you stab someone, they can bleed to death, yes. I had to discover this the wrong way, don't ask me how and if anybody asks, I was here with you all day. If I find myself bleeding to death, I have a solution, I just stop bleeding.

My parent's are Christians so I was brought up on a Muslim home because I was adopted. All I'm trying to say is my home wasn't so superstitious meaning I didn't believe in politics or school. It was very easy for them to lie to me just so I behaved.

I don't know if this happened to most of us as kids but I had an imaginary friend. He was taller than me and girls liked him a lot, I know this cos they would always stare when I talked to him. My parents were quick to dismiss all of that, they told me he was sent my the devil and I should pray every time I saw this imaginary friend. Little did they know we were married already.

Here's another lie I heard as a kid, "Do not beat a boy up with a broom if not his p*nis grows smaller". I think this was the biggest lie I was told because I have never been beaten with a broom before so why does mine still look like that of a child??? can someone explain to me?

If you're new to parenting, try and come up with new ways to get your children in order, not all these outdated lies, be more creative. Tell them if they misbehave, you'll lock them in a freezer and throw it in the ocean, I know it worked for my neighbours kids, the house is more peaceful now that there are no kids around.