Get In The Damn NFT Eva, Shinji

over 2 years ago (Edited)

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Well, jokes aside, something's really amiss right now. For the past couple of months, there have been nothing but absolutely bad news about this. The market entirely crashed, and have finally set things ablaze, game companies retracting on their plans to have this be involved in our favorite hobbies. Fast-forward to July, that no longer is the case anymore.

To preface the rest, this isn't a discussion piece or something I write to ponder on things, it's a joke post. Just to show you guys how laughably bad things have gotten on the NFT space. Going to write it as segments.

It hasn't been that long since NFTs have started to crash (well, over a year now since it launched, and it hasn't been doing well). The nature of NFTs have become so pervasive, it has started to spread across the gaming industry. Some are stating that 50% of video game company startups were mostly spent on NFTs and Blockchain. What is wrong with the world today? It's money and desperation, it all has this festering smell that is hard to miss.

To cap things off, I'll be making a list of all the NFT shenanigans that'll ruffle your feathers. Don't worry, all of this will be gaming related.

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Dead Inside, Alive As A Shell

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Tomonobu Itagaki hasn't made a Dead or Alive game since 2008, DOA 5 and 6 weren't his works. The dude hasn't had it easy since he left Tecmo back then. In 2021, he created his 2nd own gaming studio, with the hope of working for Microsoft again, that didn't happen.

No, instead he got his studio working on an NFT mobile game called Warriors. I mean, it makes sense the daddy of cool jiggly babes fighting each other has sold himself to the corporate agenda since he wasn't getting much work after leaving Tecmo and was stuck in a lawsuit with them. But this isn't the comeback anybody would want, it looks pretty tragic too. Mostly for us.

NFT SEGA?

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No, it has actually nothing to do with Sega. But it's a stinky one alright. A Web 3.0 based console that carries the promise of both the KFC Console I never saw, and the disappointing Atari VCS release, but the end result coming out of to be laughably worse.

This console promises Web 3.0 gaming, has a controller that has a button for crypto payments, will be "NFT" powered, but will also have a beefy spec to run games at 8K 120FPS with Ray-Tracing. It's all in a small box. Here's the big problem, no one knows if it's real because they never showed off an actual model and the logo for the system is ripping off the Gamecube.

But make no mistake, this console solely exists for NFTs, the kind of NFT that'll scam you out of your pockets for something that doesn't actually exist. And no, it's not going to actually run games very well. Least they state it has a TouchID system, which is nowhere to be seen. That's how you know they're trying really hard. Everybody unanimously agree, this is a trap.

Please Stop, Gamestop

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This one is just wholly tragic, while I don't have a Gamestop shop where I live, probably the nearest is several hundred miles away. One thing for sure is, my local shop does a better job at selling games than Gamestop ever will. Why? Well, they're terrible at franchising themselves on a global scale. For the past few years, their company has been in decline and all they've ever done is close shops and make silly investment plans. The one thing that saved them was Wallstreetbets stopping them from getting their stock shorted out.

But we have finally come here, ladies and gentlemen, to two of their distasteful projects. Gamestop's foray into cryptos by launching a marketplace for it. With over a 100 million dollars worth of tokens, with big plans of selling in-game assets, digital real estate, and yes, NFTs. They made only 33K USD within the first 24hrs. Suffice it to say, not going well.

But the biggest insult comes from this one, a falling-man NFT. Yeah, that is inspired by the 9/11 falling man. There's nothing that different about it, aside the suit, this not only thought it would look cool, because it's luring in edgy 9/11 memers, but it was terribly despicable towards the victims of that tragic time. Not even the "fell from the MIR station" slogan saves this one.

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You had Reggie Fils-Aimé join your board of directors, but not even that could have saved your company. How is it that the biggest distributor of games can't seem to be forward-thinking enough to get back on their feet, only to waste money not even making as much money as others are making from this NFT craze. Reggie even left a year after joining.

Gamestop is going to be a relic, just like Blockbuster is. It's high time people stop wasting their time with this company and let them succumb already. That short squeeze in 2021 only gave them borrowed time.

Tony Hawks Is Not Fun Anymore

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Tony Hawks has opened his heart to cryptocurrency. Instead of a new Tony Hawk game, though I won't blame him for that, even though the release of THPS 1+2 doing well couldn't even save games studio Vicarious Visions from Activision's terrible office practices, instead merged the studio with Blizzard so that they could no longer work on any future Tony Hawks title. Kind of sad, but expected from a terrible publisher.

But things are set in motion with Tony Hawks autograph initiative, where he sells images of him skateboarding with his signature plastered. That's kind of it, while I can admire this for the artistry behind it, the stench of NFTs still rub on it, and the crappier part is he is partnering up with a shoddy crypto-based mobile game for promotion to help create his own digitally made Skateboard park in the Metaverse.

This news sucks, because if his alternative actually sells well, he won't bother dealing with games most likely ever again. I wish him well, but at the end of the day, am not going to bother following up on this and leave things in a bitter note. One because of Activision, another is him selling out to the fluzies.

Minecraft Says No NFT Shall Pass

The good news for us, bad news for them; Minecraft hates blockchain and NFTs, agree that they're superfluous. And that everything that has been actively promoting NFT in game has had to shut down their operations and move on elsewhere.

This isn't one or two of them, there were so many, making millions upon millions, Roblox wish they had this kind of action. NFT worlds which was the most popular, lost all their subscriber base and their tokens worth went tumbling down. Their response to that is going from a web2 based to web3 based game, meaning they want their own Minecraft world....good luck with that.

This is ending on a high note, because this goes to show, not even the biggest video game in the world wants anything to do with this. Though, Epic and other games are still open to this, meaning it's not over by a long shot.

Additional Stuff

Square Enix is back, selling anniversary collectible figurines with NFTs based on Final Fantasy VII remake. Who asked, well nobody but Squeenix wants this to go well so badly.
This is a continuation from the Minecraft bit, apparently Epic has no issues with embedding NFTs into games selling within their store. Tim Sweeney responded from a tweet, saying he is comfortable with this freedom.
Esports and NFT, they're happening. That's all I can say. Anymore and I'll be morose.
Dr. Disrespects Deaddrop is a new NFT FPS game that looks pretty barebones and plays terrible too. This is kind of ironic, since he has worked on game development, with Call of Duty: Advanced Warfare from Sledgehammer Games.