Pain

I was feeling right; something had started. It's not now; it started more than 12 years ago, maybe even earlier. It left a deep scar on my heart. But there were no permanent scars that anyone noticed. So not everyone was able to measure its depth. It was challenging for me to feel the trembling pain inside me. But I was feeling and hiding. I was not a loser. But I was not from a different world.

Only maybe my patience was a little higher than everyone else's. I looked around; the noise outside was a prolonged motion. It seemed like it would take a year for a leaf to fall to the ground. I was trying to feel myself with the pinch whether I believe in the existence of something illusory.
I was very different from everyone since school life. I couldn't make friends. Others used to chat; I just enjoyed watching it. From then on, I realized that I was different from everyone else. I was not ready to spend my life in the hustle and bustle. I feel more different nowadays than I did then. Which I have never been before. I never dared to look at any other girl. My friends were making love one by one. I was a spectator there. I felt unimportant. I believed no one wanted me. No one looked at me and noticed my existence.

When I start thinking about these things now, I realize how blind I am to the essential parts of life. I had a nice place to stay, clothes and food. But even then, I was dissatisfied with my own life. I always thought my life was too bad. There is no better way than this. This is an important point that I needed at this time. That's enough to change my life. A point can create a beautiful life. And that's what I was looking for. That's when he entered my life.

I went out to enjoy a beautiful morning. As I walked in front, a look was becoming critical. I was trying not to look at him. But he was attracting me in a beaver way. And in a few seconds, I'll be right in front of him. He seemed to be watching me. I walked away because I did not dare to stand in front of him. I spend my mornings like this every day. That's how I go out every morning to enjoy the beauty of the morning. I think he likes to enjoy the sunrise. About a week went by like this, but I still couldn't talk to him. On the eighth day, I could not find the person in the same place. He was not sitting on that bench watching the sunrise.