A Cigarette

She said, "can I be honest with you?" I nodded and said I'm not expecting anything from the token, and I hope you'll do better next time, or you'll see things work out. "Things didn't work out because you were a messy person." I looked at her in surprise and felt a little pain. She sighed before taking a pack of cigarettes out of her shirt pocket and offering to take one.

"No thanks, I don't smoke."

The cigarette she offered me lit for her. I told her, please don't give me that look; it makes me uncomfortable. I sighed before taking a cigarette out of my shirt pocket. She wanted to make me an offer. I offered to smoke to the man next to me. She thanked me and said he was not interested. I looked at her, lit a cigarette, and pulled out a bliss. I tell her that you know the reason why things fail? Because you are a mess. But I didn't want to say it myself this time with the job interview. She pulled it off before she could do anything.

Look, I don't want to tell you anything about this anymore. But it would be best if you changed your attitude about your mess. I've seen you do nothing; you always like to complain. I have repeatedly heard you say how bad things are in your life. I opened my mouth in self-defense. But she yelled at me before I headed back to the porch. It is never wrong to complain about me. I understand that it may sometimes help to express one's feelings. I tried to convince her again and again. Don't complain and wail about anything, and don't seek advice for yourself from people that will push you into darkness. Everything is difficult for us.

I wanted to explain things to her with the warmth in my voice. She was looking at me with evil eyes. But no action was taken to stop me. I felt like I was going through a long, lousy time. Please forgive me for not having my shit with me. I looked into her eyes, and what I saw made my blood boil. She looked at me with pitying eyes, which bothered me even more. I told her, please don't make me look like that because I don't need anyone's mercy. I thought it would help me to talk to you about this. But you are reacting in a way that I never expected.

This is not the first time we have discussed this issue; you have always kept your response the same. I lit a cigarette to start her madness. You always fail me in any of my endeavors. You believe in yourself that there is nothing in your life but sorrow. You spend your time drinking alcohol on any problem until you get sick. When you are still breathing, it means your breath has not stopped. You always call me a two-faced dog. Because you accuse me of conspiring behind you. I felt fresh anger in his eyes. But to me, it was better than mercy.