Unrequited Love... The Very Worst

Have you ever felt like a song was made for you? Like, the artiste woke up and thought, “Someone might be feeling this way in another part of the universe” and then sang a song just for that particular someone? That's exactly how I feel about the song, ‘Ceilings’ by Lizzy McAlpine.

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When my friend recommended this song to me, I wondered how he knew I would love it. It's almost like fate and the universe joined hands together to send the song to me through him.

When I first listened to this song, different kinds of feelings bombarded me. Hearing the song and then truly listening to the lyrics filled me with the emotions the artiste was trying to evoke in listeners when she sang it. It brought on nostalgia and melancholy and it reminded me of a different time.

The song took on another meaning for me. It brought back memories of when I committed the worst sin someone can commit to the heart. One-sided love, unrequited love.

Then, I had this favorite person. At the time, he was beautiful lights and colors all round. He made my world brighter and somewhat better. He revived my spark. He was my best of friends and he just got me, meeting me all the way. I didn't have any choice but to fall in love with him. It was inevitable.

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I had this love for him and I wanted to spend so much time with him. I did just that. Yes, our time spent together was platonic, but it was enough for me and whenever it was time to go, my stomach would clench because I didn't want to leave. That's exactly how Lizzy put it in her lyrics. Time with the person was lovely. He gave ‘lovely’ a whole new meaning.

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Whenever I got home, I would count the hours and days it would take for me to see him again. I would wish for time to go faster. During that waiting period, I would imagine doing all the things that I have always wanted to do with him. I would imagine him holding me tenderly, kissing me, adoring me, just loving me back.

But, reality always hit me stark in the face whenever we met again. The person that loved me back, that adored me, that kissed me wasn't real. The person in my imagination wasn't real. The person I wanted wasn't real. It was just the person in real life who I had this feelings, this love that would never reciprocate it back the way I wanted.

And one-sided love is just the worst. Like, you have all this love filling you up to the brim for this person, but the person wouldn't accept it. So, you don't know where all the love is going to go, because it's for that person alone. You can't get give it to someone else.

Lizzy McAlpine told a story through her song, a sad heartbreaking song. She started it with a slow sweet note, a happy beginning or so she made the listeners think. She brought us into the world of her song, made us feel the love and everything the protagonist was feeling. She made us think that the person whom the protagonist loved, loved her back.

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As the song developed in pitch and rhythm, it made us feel the anguish the character was feeling because it wasn't real. It could be memories. It could be her imagination. It could have been nostalgia. But, in that moment, in the present, everything wasn't real. All the ‘lovely’ things she had experienced with her lover wasn't real.

So, when I heard Ceilings, I just knew. It encompassed all the one-sided feelings I had ever had into it's lyrics. I listen to it and I look back on that time and chuckle at the sadness of it all. Unrequited love… the very worst.