I find myself in this bleak place and have resigned myself to living here. I got tired of looking for a way out so I adapt as best I can to my situation.

When the voices in my head got louder and asked me to do crazy things, then at that moment they decided to bring me to this place.

A few days ago I saw on TV a politician talking and the voices reminded me that I am locked up in this place for much less of that guy's crazy stuff. But hey, that's how unfair life is.

I don't really give trouble. I spend my day walking the halls, talking to the voices in my head and watching TV in the evenings. Mind you, I drink a lot of coffee, it's the only thing that keeps me alive and wanting to keep going.

Last week the doctor on call wrote in my chart that he forbade coffee. When the nurse came by and read the doctor's new instructions, my heart broke. I was not expecting this low blow.

The lady in the kitchen hid all the coffee. She knows I am the only caffeine addict in the whole sanatorium and they are all alert.

I took pen and paper and the voices d dictated to me the whole torture plan to get the sanatorium employees and get my precious coffee back.

Step 1 weaken the enemy: the voices told me that the first thing to do was to make them feel the way I feel, that is, tired and weak. So I went to bed to sleep in the afternoon, after all without coffee it's hard not to fall asleep. When it was 9 p.m. I got up, fresh as a daisy. I sat down in the middle of the rest room and when everyone went to sleep I began to sing at the top of my lungs: I was King Henry the Eighth.

Again and again my tune disturbed everyone in the place. They threw a pillow at me but I kept going until 3 am.

The next day everyone was long-faced and sleepy. My plan was working.

Step 2 divide the enemy: the voices say that if I divide the enemy I will be able to defeat them individually. So I took Nurse Ana's things and put them in Nurse Miguel's drawer. When she realized that he had her things she got very upset and didn't even let the boy explain himself. I had a lot of fun watching them argue.

Then I went to get Rosa the cook's things. I took her wooden spoon, the one she brags about being her grandmother's and having more than 100 years in the family. I hid it under the janitor's jacket. When Rosa found it she gave the man 2 spoonfuls on his head. It was very funny.

Step 3 attack the storeroom: according to the voices if I attacked the kitchen storeroom, not only would I recover the coffee, I could also take the things that the others like. Like Ana's butter cookies and Rosa's chocolate bonbons.

That morning I went into the pantry and took all the treasures. The next day they were all crazy about the sanatorium. They searched all the rooms and when they arrived at my room I told them I would give them to them in exchange for the doctor returning the coffee to my diet.

They all looked at each other. They were tired of dealing with my tortures. They talked to the doctor and he considered it. He removed the ban from my medical history and everything went back to normal.

I'm sitting here in front of the TV, watching my favorite series with my delicious cup of coffee. Listening to the voices telling me that if we get the coffee we can get anything. Next step: get out of the sanatorium.