Years of Awkward
Occasionally near my office, this bright orange scooter is parked up near a dull grey wall and each time I see it, it makes me feel happy. There is something about the contrast, the juxtaposition between the vivid life of the scooter and the deadness of the backdrop. I like the awkward, the different, the slightly off center, or too far to one side, because it creates a kind of mental discomfort and makes me pay more attention, not less.
Perfection is boring.
Twenty one far from perfect years in Finland.
Like the picture above, it has been an experience of contrasts, with the best moments and the worst moments of my life, often appearing on that dead background of the daily grind. After twenty one years here in this city, it is by far the longest I have ever been in one place and in a couple more years, I will have spent more of my life in Finland as a foreigner, than in Australia as a local.
What does that make me?
I'd like to be able to say that life has got easier since coming here, but I think it has got harder. Or at least, I think it has become more complicated. When I was here in the first few years, I could have gone back to Australia and picked up a life again, rebuilt networks and a career. But after so long, that is barely an option for me, having the experience I have here. This means that in some way I am trapped here, but having to constantly be on my toes, grinding away to ensure that I can stay where I am trapped.
I find this funny.
What are the other options? Just laugh at the predicaments we find ourselves in, right? Like I was talking with a colleague today who has been in the country for a couple years and recognizes how difficult it can be, not just as a foreigner, but as one who has a little more pigmentation in their skin. It doesn't matter what he has done prior to arrival, his degrees or years of professional experience, it all gets discounted by his looks. And mine.
But, at the same time, that contrast also makes life more interesting, less beige. In some way it adds positive value to the experience, because it is something to overcome, something to provide friction and feedback. And of course, it also provides a level of discomfort, contrast, a highlight point that attracts the eyes, and pulls them in to explore.
Talking with another colleague today over lunch, we discussed diversity in the workplace and how ridiculous it has become, where it is based on skin color, sex, or sexual orientation. They are quite ridiculous attributes to focus on for diversity inclusion, aren't they?
In my opinion, there is no value in them unless because of them, different skills are learned, different perspectives. But, using those as the basis of diversity has nothing to do with if there is going to be value in those traits for a company, other than for advertising of inclusion purposes.
But "thinking differently" doesn't automatically bring value either, does it? An idiot thinks differently to a genius, but it doesn't mean that the idea are good. It also doesn't mean that the ideas are bad, but IQ isn't a very good indicator of value either. There are a lot of smart people, who do a lot of dumb things. I used to be one of them - now I am an idiot who does dumb things.
I wonder if my fascination with the slightly awkward and difficult, is because I have never really fit in anywhere in my life. I have never had the feeling I was part of the tribe so to speak and instead, I was more the wanderer that could fit in across many different groups, without belonging to any of them. Maybe that is why I was able to come to Finland and survive for this long, because I am okay being uncomfortable, making do, and surviving.
There is a limit somewhere though.
I don't know where that line is, but I believe we all have a breaking point, where things just become too uncomfortable and survival too difficult to fight for. As a species, we are pretty resilient, but as individuals, that line of survive or not, is never that far away. We don't like to think too much about that though.
I often fantasize about having an easier life, but if I did, I wonder if I would miss the hard? Would I look to increase the challenge to make it more difficult again, or would I self-sabotage in order to return to a point where it was as hard as it was?
Which is easier?
As said, I find life amusing. And simultaneously tragic.
Awkward.
Taraz
[ Gen1: Hive ]
Perhaps you are afraid to accept that you are a mortal, that we are here for the season and at any moment we will start the journey on a one-way ticket.
In this short time in which the heart beats, we adapt, that's how wise nature is. Of course, from the very moment we are conceived we set in motion that process that prepares us to leave the mother's womb and later adjust to the environment, to what we eat and drink...
But we are so stubborn that being resilient is not enough. We always want to find the ‘fifth leg of the coin’ and in that we waste valuable time that we could spend enjoying the environment, like for example that nuance of colours that you refer to and that I enjoy every sunset, even in summers, with those greys in the sky.
I can't find a better time to have a coffee. Every sunset and every sunrise and the smell of petricor that where I live enhances everything.
Live dear friend, live your own life, that's the secret.
Sorry, not to play devil's advocate, but all of that diversity wouldn't be necessary if at some point someone hadn't done something to make it necessary While that may not happen as much now, we know for a fact at one point it was the case. Yes, some of it has gone overboard, but like those signs about not eating the urinal cakes, you know they had to put them there for an unfortunate reason.
I get this. But, again, it is trying to engineer a solution, without actually thinking about the conditions. It will end up in more issues.
Only in America ;)
"This bag is not a toy" wasn't a thing until America made it a thing. :D
It was probably one of those illegal immigrants :)
I understand what you are saying, it's more of a stop gap covering the problem, not actually fixing it.
:D :D
Yep. It is addressing the problem without really looking to fix the problem. Something has to be done to improve equality, but creating more inequality isn't the way.
Indeed we have a breaking point, but adaptability is one of our greatest strengths. Swinging ourselves to fit any situation no matter how uncomfortable. And adaptability involves creative problem solving. I understand when you mention all the rough things you've experienced in Finland and your life. But maybe it doesn't have to continue to be like that. I believe you will adapt and maybe find a way out to the life you desire. Thanks for writing.
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Can't compare Finland to Australia, but some 5 or 10 years, I would have definitely left my country for both of them for better life conditions.
I think one of the biggest reasons for diversifying the workforce before was to make the business innovative and prevent it from stagnating. Getting fresh ideas, and improving things are just some of the good that a new employee can bring. It can be as simple as the company suddenly providing snacks and free drinks to employees, allowing longer afternoon breaks for a nap, or flexible hours, which can improve work efficiency. Unfortunately, lately it has been done just to silence/appease the vocal minority which can end up being detrimental to the company.
In a perfect world, yes. But this is a far from perfect world.
You probably would. I know my favorite memories are from times that sucked if that makes any sense.
I didn't move across the planet but I remember feeling that tipping point after living here for longer than I'd been living in the place where I grew up. It was an interesting kinda feeling.
The only thing I have to say to this is a rather Singlish WHERE GOT MEANING XD
That's a mood even when you're local. When I was at uni people assuming I couldn't speak English if they got me on a bad audio day (til I opened my mouth) was not an unusual occurrence. One of the friends I had at the time was this lovely Indian girl who grew up in England and had a British accent and one of her favourite things to do was swan about in a sari and destroy people's incorrect assumptions XD
And Australia having been pretty much a melting pot of a country since colonisation/invasion, I found the whinings of some of the white people I knew terribly funny when they were complaining about how Australia was starting to look like "a foreign country" with the sheer volume of non-white people that were appearing in their areas.
It was even funnier when the local ones were complaining about it to me in person and I'm like hello.
I don't talk to them anymore, but hopefully they've since learned that if they can stop registering me and whatever other friends as "foreign" they should be able to just do that for anyone
This bit is easy. Think of all the things that you would do if money wasn't a problem. Things can be "hard" without being hard.
I swear people do this all the freaking time, most obviously in relationships XD And then sit there wondering why things "never" work out for them.