Favouritism, The Root of Siblings’ Rivalry.

Favouritism is simply preferring one person over another. Favouritism in a family is usually evident in the actions, expressions, and emotions of the parents and can affect the relationship within the family and brood the feeling of resentment among the children. This is the situation of Racheal, my friend.

I resent my brother, she said to me. “Even though we sometimes relate with each other like normal happy siblings, most times I can’t stand him. I don’t like him, neither do I trust him. I don’t remember exactly when or how the resentment started, but the accumulation of happenings since when we were younger snowballed into the budding feeling of hatred that I feel towards him.

When I was 6, my mum didn’t miss a day to remind me of how much responsibility of a child I was because I had a challenge that would sometimes numb my limbs. She never missed the opportunity to call me a money-sucking demon and remind me of how she wanted a boy.

When my brother finally came, I had to fight for the littlest attention and trust which I never got. One event that made me start to hate my brother was when he gave me some money to buy some items for him, which I did thinking my mum gave him the money. On getting home, I realized he stole the money and he had framed me for it. I stood there bemused, trying to understand what was happening and before I could say jack, I got the beating of my life. When my dad got back later, came into our room, and saw my brother crying for a reason I don’t know, he took me out and punished me the second time for making my brother cry. My brother had told him I beat him for no reason.

I’ve had to give up opportunities on the command of my parents because he is the ‘man and the younger one’ and I am supposed to let him shine first before I do. I trained myself to school because they said my brother should go while I find something else doing. Note that at that time, my brother was still in junior high school.

There are so many things that have happened, but I don’t know how to address this issue because at this point, I don’t care if the only thing we share is the blood relation. I don’t like my brother and the feeling keeps growing every day.”

You may want to tell her to talk to her parents, but she said, communication is not the other of the day in their home. Trying to talk to her parents is just like pouring water in a basket because they usually listen to defend.

In Rachael’s case, it was caused by gender preferences, however, in other homes, it could be caused by differing personalities. Whatever the cause is, favouritism creates a dysfunctional family, breeds hatred among the children and builds an atmosphere of disunity and tension.

Individually, it may lead to low self esteem on the part of the unfavoured child badly shaping the interpersonal relationship in adulthood.

As parents, it is important to understand that each child is built differently, so, it is essential to observe and understand the unique strength and weakness of each child and help them grow. Ensure all children are treated equally so they can cultivate the habit of solidarity and realize that family bonds are important. Children are supposed to be nurtured and grow in love because that is the only way they can show love to others, but if you foster an environment of exclusivity among your children, you may be in for some real-life battle among them even at old age.

This is my entry to the May #inleoprompt challenge with the topic siblings rivalry, experienced firsthand, witnessed or seen in fiction. You are also invited to join.

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