Satire for Detectives

Here's one for my smart cop friends

detectives have very few qualities

they have no powers of observation

they have no analytical skills

much less deductive, inductive, analogical

they are terrible at analogy

detectives do not use their imagination

they do not know how to make abstractions

and little or no mental agility

they are not discreet at all

they are not very patient with the unknowns

and something detestable is that they do not respect confidentiality.