COMMON MISTAKES PEOPLE MAKE WHEN THEY BORROW AND GIVE LOANS || MY PAINFUL STORY
I must say that practically everyone you know has regretted lending money to someone they know, whether they are friends or family. I am not exempt from this type of folks, and I am sure you are not either.
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It is always painful when the person in question refuses to answer your calls or starts giving a kind of attitude. Talking about pain, I hate it when this attitude comes from people close to me; it spoils relationships. Relationships that could be helpful in future; once you lose it, you lose a connection that could possibly mould your future.
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Due to my past experiences of lending out money, I have always followed a rule which I would be sharing in this post. Before I do that, I would like to share a story of what happened to me that made me change and formulate these rules in regard to borrowing money.
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It happened in 2019 when I received my tuition fees from my dad. Suddenly corona burst in and resumption was postponed. I had a friend who had a sales business which involves buying and selling musical instruments. He came to me to ask for a loan to buy some goods for his business and that he would pay me back. As a friend who has helped me by giving me some of his goods on loan and I pay back later, I decided to borrow him the money I had for my tuition fees.
He claimed he'd give me back in two months, which I agreed to because school wasn't starting any time soon. When it was time, he refused my calls and stopped answering my text. When I tried with another number, he picks the call and start giving excuses and promises to return it soon but never did he.
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I was pained seriously. The funniest thing was I was pained the more because he broke my trust badly. I cried on my bed because I didn't know how I could raise that money and because I felt betrayed. It was actually the biggest amount of money I had lost in my life at the same time.
𝕸𝖞 𝖗𝖚𝖑𝖊𝖘 𝖙𝖔 𝖑𝖊𝖓𝖉𝖎𝖓𝖌 𝖒𝖔𝖓𝖊𝖞
Lending money to people now is not entirely based on trust nowadays, because if you do that, you risk breaking your trust for the person. That's why it is important to follow these rules:
Don't expect your money back: The thing is that you should never expect the money you lend someone back because they could never return it. So the idea is when you lend money to someone, have the notion that you are dashing the person. This is important so that it would not ruin your relationship with the person.
Don't ask for your money back after asking at least thrice: One thing you should know is, if you ask back for the money you lent, try to give the person time and don't be a pest to the person. Yes, it is your money but the person you lent money to may perceive it in a wrong way and would want to ignore you afterwards.
So when you give lend someone money, space the duration in which you would ask the money back from the person depending on when the person promises to return. If he doesn't return after 3 times of requesting your money back. Then, FORGET YOUR MONEY! IT'S MOST LIKELY GONE.
Never lend out what you cannot afford to lose: This is very similar to not expecting your money back. Take lending money as if you are investing it in crypto or forex; you can lose your money or get it back. So if someone asks you for a loan, and you cannot afford to lose the money, then don't give it out in the first place.
Do not repeat the same mistake: What this means is you should never lend money to anybody who refuses to return to you again. One thing about me is that I don't forget people who borrow money from me and fail to return and most likely do I fight them. I continue how relationship without asking them for it back.
The disadvantage of this is, that some may take me for granted and would think I have forgotten about my money but the truth is I don't want to be a pest in their life. But one thing is for sure, I would never lend money to that person again, no matter how urgent the scenario is, or if I have the money to give out.
WHO IS STARSTRINGS01
Starstrings01 AKA Giftedhands is a Hive lover, a Nigeria musician (Guitarist), and also a student who studies Mechatronics Engineering at the Federal University of Agriculture, Abeokuta.
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He battles and struggles with balancing education and being active on the chain but yet his love and passion for Hive keep him on balance.
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Nice article man! I have never regretted lending money, I guess I always choose the right people to lend to 😜😜😜
Actually I follow those same rules. If it's not paid back it will hurt my trust for that person because I'll feel used...but if failing to pay back will make me totally resent the person, I won't lend it (there are exceptions, like if someones house burns down or something like that). I will never lend it if I don't feel the person has earned enough trust.
I hope I can get rich as hell so I can just give gifts instead of lending. That's far more desirable for me.
Smiles... Yeah you chose the right people 😁😁😁. You are a good man and definitely you would not meet the someone who would do that to you.
Same here, if the condition is so bad and genuine. And also in my capability, I would help the person.
Exactly, this is what I prefer the most. To give out than just borrowing.
lol....well I've met some pretty awful people too, but I think I'm getting better at avoiding them 😆
!pizza
Mehn all these are nothing but facts.
My trick is to only lend to people I trust if not I’d rather dash than borrow.
Some people are the worst.
Exactly oh! People are worst. Just dash them.
Hey, crushyy, lend me money nau 🥺🤲.... Lol.
Lol! You want to whine your own back abi 😅😂
Hahaha.... I dey learn work for where you dey ooo 😂😂
Smiles! You should pay fine!
honestly, i don't know why people are like this, lend them money and they become your enemies or stop communicating with you, i lend someone 30k which he promised to pay at the end of the moment, do you know he never called, text or try to reach me after failing to pay the money at the particular date he gave me, i didn't call him either because i know it is just a waste of time and now i follow one of your rules, only to lend what i can afford to dash the person....
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damn.. it must have hurt badly... I lent that rule in the hard way. would do us much good if we keep to that rule.
Thanks so much for the curation bro.
This table is shaking for me, lol..where will I start, I have so many people who have treated me bad because of my own good but then, let's see to your questions 🤔
They will automatically lose the opportunity next time. Simply put, they have shut the door to themselves.
Yes, I have, 5 people sef🤦♀️🤦♀️, though I have learned in a hard way. Exactly these measures you listed above is my new way of loaning anyone😅, no need pretending.
The last and the most recent one that happened to me: one family man though we are close o, with 3 children came to my house and narrated his family ordeal, how he can't feed his children and how his children had stopped schooling. The whole story was touching and I felt for him with my soft heart as usual. He requested 150k to sort out all his pending issues and promised to pay back once he receives huge money from a sale he made. Hmmm, It was my poor savings🤦, I gave in. 4 months passed, and I didn't hear from that man. He declined my calls several times, and left my messages unattended to, same with his wife who was closer to me. In summary, my husband later stepped into the case and was able to retrieve 50k for me while the rest sink inside a ship till date.
It is well oo, but even in my dream, I won't try such anymore unless the amount I can forfeit.
Exactly! Funny thing is, they don't just lose opportunities in regards to borrowing money but future opportunities that can shape their lives.
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Omoh.. your story touch me. I don't know why people fail to give in the same energy as they did when borrowing money and returning it. This behaviour is kinda annoying.
Don't worry, your 100k has been invested!
Exactly, and it's becoming a habit for so many people. When you ask for your own money, they will see it as if you are begging them to dash your money.
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
One thing I will never risk is using my school fees as a loan when I know I don't have a job to pay back even if the worse should happen. I wonder how some people can be so comfortable doing that. You really are a brave person to do such a thing 😅😅
I remembered loaning my childhood friend money; it almost ruined our relationship but thank God it didn't. She promised to pay back at a due date but when the day arrived, she started avoiding me and would always be afraid of seeing me around anywhere.
It took months even though she was paying bit by bit but she paid all.
One thing I now do today is when I loan someone money, I do not expect it back except if such a person returns it. So, I give out what I can afford to lose than loaning all to them.
I read a post somewhere today where a guy asked his friend to pay him back his money since 4yrs ago, the friend refused and said he has no reason and he won't pay back because people are owing him money too.
One thing such a person does not remember is that the future will always show and you may think you will never need any assistance again but they have lose a great benefit of being helped again.
Shit. Why would someone think he do not have to return a money he borrowed because people are owing him money. That’s a stupid thinking.
If I have a friend like that, I would distance myself straight up. That statement on its own is annoying as hell!
I till love what your friend did, she paid back fully even though it was bits by bits.
For me, I was still soft and young. I didn’t know anything and I learnt the hard way.
Yes oo, I would walk away from such a friend and he wouldn't even think of coming to me next time for another help because I won't move an inch.
My dad once told me if someone can't manage their own money what makes you think they are going to be able to manage your money?
Hmm.. words! We can't say, some people may just need a little push to get better and would end doing well.
Maybe I'm jaded at this point but people rarely ever change. I would hope some can improve but lending them money usually isn't going to cause that to happen.
The point is that lack of discipline and poor money management is part of the reason why they are asking to borrow money in the first place.
Learning the hard way is so painful but what can we do.
I have had such an experience and I agree with you when you said Don't expect your money back, Never lend out what you cannot afford to lose.
Many years ago a very good friend, asked for a huge favour that I help her send some money to a friend in need and I should send the money in her name so the person would see that she was the one who sent it not me. I did that and guess what? 9 years still counting, and I haven't received my money back. How do I report the incident? The money was paid in her name and I gave it out in trust.
Of course, there won't be a next time with her and even if I have to, I would give what I can forget.
Beautiful article thanks for sharing.
Smiles there are some people like this.. I have encountered them so many times.
There is no next time for people like that... Thanks so much for your wonderful comment.
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Wow, this feels good 👍 thank you so much.
you're welcome. :)
Sorry for leaving my comment after 2 days. Was dealing with some issues in life. Everything looks fine now.
It's fine, thanks