All for nothing: The pain of parenthood
Change is one thing said to be constant in the life of every living thing and not just human beings.
When someone changes for good, that is a thing of joy but, the pain comes when a child who was formerly good suddenly becomes bad... Nothing pains parents as that especially mothers.
Thinking about this makes me remember one of our neighbours, Chidera.
Chidera's dad is the catechist in our Catholic church and as a result of that, he comes to morning masses and Sunday masses without missing a single day all year round.
Chidera's dad will always go to all those church activities taking Chidera along with him ever since Chidera could walk.
Chidera was the model child every parent wanted to the extent that even my parents would say, "can't you behave like Chidera" when I pull off some of my wonderful tricks, lol.
We kept on growing and I personally left for secondary school as a boarding student while Chidera stayed back as a day student attending a Catholic secondary school.
Fast forward to the present day, Chidera was killed last year.
It happened that Chidera suddenly started changing, stopped coming to church and always engaged in verbal confrontation with his parents. He was influenced by bad peer groups he followed and not long enough, he joined a cultist group.
Last year when two cult groups were fighting, Chidera was killed and that was the end of the model child...
When I heard news of Chidera's demise, I can't just wrap the whole thing around my neck of how the model child suddenly changed for bad to the extent of losing his life to his change.... I felt bad for his parents; "All Those Years For Nothing"
What if my child decides to change to a different religion / culture?
To be honest, changing to a different culture, religion or anything at all isn't a big deal to me, not saying that I would be very happy about that, but then, once it's a good change, he or she will have my support.
Although some of these things we write about aren't as easy as they are when you're facing them in reality so I really pray it doesn't happen to me, hehehe, especially that of religion; I mean, I know it's same God we are serving but what if my child grew up to enter into Eckankar or some other religions I personally don't like, it'll definitely eat me up.
What else can I do to an adult who is decided to choose his path?
There is literally nothing coercion can do to change the situation but rather it will worsen it, so it's just to accept it and move on
No parent wants their child to depart from the laid down good morals they have laid for them but rather for them to change to bad, it is better they change cultures, lifestyle and even religion because you literally can't do anything when it goes South.
Thanks for reading and have a nice day
Wow. So sad for Chidera. You see, some parents are really trying but the child or children just decides to go their way. It is more of praying to God as parents to guide these children.
Yes, I wouldn't have it all bad when my kids wants to change their lifestyles only if it is for the wrong intention would I not support them. I know we serve the same God, but I wouldn't want to see it happen in reality that they change religion different from mine. No, it won't happen.
That's very true.... Some of these things are easier scripted but imagining it happening real ain't funny at all
Imagine me preparing to go to catholic church and my child preparing to go for chosen church even though it's same church... Doesn't sound nice at all
Yea, it doesn't sound well. I do not want to imagine it.
There many children like Chidera today, who were ones good but bad influence changed them for the worst. It's so sad to see that someone that was good ends up dieing in an unworthy and disappointing manner. Parents can only do their best, the decision is left for the children.
That's the point... It's 70% left for the child in the end just that parents suffer the effect eitherway
I really feel sad for chidera's parents. All their efforts and training gone like that. This is what mostly befalls children who choose to derail from the path that their parents laid out for them.
I think that the permissive nature modern parenting has led to things like this.
Back in the day before the advent of Christianity or Islam, the time when those God's were worshipped, there was hardly cases like this because it is clear what would happen to the the child if he or she decides to derail.
Same for Jewish times in Isreal. It was stated that parents could report their children whom they feel is changing negatively to the elders at the gate and that child would be stoned to death. It was that serious and this helped curtail some excesses.
Being strict alone won't do but letting the child in on the consequences of such misdemeanor can help and best of all, pray for them not to be influenced externally.
No doubt, it's a factor to consider but I doubt it's all that because even amongst the no permissive parents, their children might still derail especially when he or she keeps bad friends
Makes me sometimes to conclude that the greatest trainer or parent anyone could get remains his or herself
Exactly.. you've just spoken my mind aloud!!!
Most times it's not all about strictness or flogging all the time but about letting them in on the consequences, citing examples for them also
Thanks a lot for commenting
You're welcome
I love your first point of view. Change is bound to happen, we humans change and there are events and experiences that causes change in different aspects of our lives. One of the greatest pain of a mother is having a child that has gone astray.
Parents do not like it when their children chooses an entirely different path, a path they do not know, like or even trust.
Chidera early life was a good example other parent to make their own children see a better way to behave. It's a bad news to hear that he became the opposite of what he used to be.
It is at those kind of scenarios that make me plunder on what else should be done because Indeed, Chidera's parents did all they should but then it was watered down the drain by peer groups... I guess it's just to keep doing the much we can expecting a positive change
Thanks for commenting
Must have beem so painful for his parents.
You are welcome boss.
👍
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