Tales of the Urban Explorer: Wardle Crafts

“This doesn’t look anything like a disused RAF base?”

It was supposed to be 'RAF Calverly', and the Google Maps images show something that could be an old RAF base, and yet it wasn't. It must have been demolished I guessed, and yet something was here, something old, something white, and something very crap.

To be honest, I couldn't give a toss. This was strictly one of our 'F' grade explores of the day, and having done a few military barracks, I find them boring, samey, rectangular, and if you are lucky filled with some quality graffiti artwork, as well as the odd used condom in a corner.

Not having a ‘cum’ fetish, doesn’t leave a whole lot of excitement, but I was surprised that this type of deviancy does exist.

…’and I thought all that Men’s Fantasy bullshit only existed on PornHub and Xhamster?’…

Welcome to ‘Wardle Crafts’, the worst explore since Ardene’s House, and guaranteed to get your aching loins stirring, and gills drooling.

...more like a monotonous, tedious, repetitious romp through a derelict wasteland...

Parking was hardly an issue, as was stealth. ‘Wardle Crafts’ was in the middle of nowhere and quite possibly a major reason why it is no longer in business today. Likewise, scans on the internet revealed a big nothing, it's not a registered ex-business; it's as though it never existed.

After choosing which of the dozen doors to walk, through we found an office with a solitary desk.

The Auto-Trader is from 2008. Whoever used to sit here, bored out of their tits must have had something to make the sheer drudgery of the day pass by. A vintage paper copy of Mayfair would have been a more interesting find.

Several buildings were dotted about, many of them boasting doors such as this one, the type where you don’t need to turn any handle to enter.

Then again other doors were still challenging us entry, as well as windows with bars. The solution was to walk down a little further, enter, and walk back inside. There were no off-limit rooms.

Very arty, and it almost convinced me it was an old fireplace, but it was just an illusion.

If the ‘Fire Exit’ was locked, I would be forced to make a complaint to the district Health and Safety office.

Is this part of the ‘crafts’ made by the ex-company that doesn’t exist? If so, it’s a poor example.

The more I roamed the spare rooms, the more I became convinced that 'Wardle Crafts' specialized in creating false fireplaces donned with garish wallpaper.

They made walls thick, and to last in the old days.

See the security camera perched on the tower? One can never be too careful, thieves and vagabonds roam the area in tightly organised packs waiting to pounce on peeling decaying helpless buildings.

Someone's been doing some clean-up work around here. It saves us from crawling through jungles of brambles only to find, er… very little.

Could this have been the guest showroom for 'Wardle Crafts'?. Large, spacious, and with boundless fresh air, it's better visited in the high of summer.

Huge bars at every window. As I mentioned above, this is bandit territory and even now those ever so rusty bars serve a purpose.

We looked over the old craft shop and wondered? Was this once the barracks and the failed business used some of their buildings?

A manager did exist, and he had his own room complete with a title. Very impressive, but you could have left us some junk to look at.

No... it's not a crusty old woman's armpit, though it could be mistaken for one.

In that toilet are horrors unspoken, that’s why it was covered and I didn’t do it. Some things a man simply cannot see and live to tell the tale.

The remains of anti-climbing fencing, long since discarded. I figure ‘Wardle Crafts’ has been like this for some time.

Is this the remains of 'RAF Calverly'? If so, it was far worse than your average derelict base, void of graffiti and one to keep away from, unless you want to die of boredom.

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