Tales of the Urban Explorer: Astoria Bingo

I thought I had polished off my content from October 2021, but found one hiding this morning in the depths of my file system.

“Easy to get in mate, over the fence and through the door on the side” - @anidiotexplores

Except it wasn’t; the door had been closed and no amount of tugging was going to make a difference.

This was around July 2021, and the curse of Cinemas and Old Bingo Halls was going to continue for at least a little longer.

The Astoria Cinema was closed in the early-1960’s and was converted into a bingo club, which closed on 22nd February 2009. The building remains unused in 2014.

Source

Several months later, a GoonTuber was in and showed us very clearly the way. For this reason, I am not particularly shy about revealing the access point of 'Astoria Bingo'.

Reasons include:

1. • It's a shit tip inside
2. • HIVE is quite insular, many of the Facebook mindless crew don't think to look at my content
3. • You wouldn't want to go there
4. • Its already public knowledge
5. • It could well be sealed by now. This intelligence is very old.
6. • One slip around the back and you are facing motorway traffic and death. (we will come to that shortly).

“There’s a car parked up right outside it”

I had some concerns that this blighted, extremely non-photogenic relic of Britain’s past was going to thwart me once again.

@anidiotexplores had been in possibly a year before and fortunately for me, he doesn’t mind repeat visits.

Once again I was talking to myself as my comrade was already over the fence and climbing the secondary fence not waiting for me.

Quickly forgetting about the car and hastily following, I was slower to get over both fences and then observed @anidiotexplores struggling to get down an extremely steep muddy embankment.

One slip, a few yards further and you are falling another 8 feet onto a very busy motorway with no hard shoulder.

I started sliding down the embankment noting the large slide marks made by my colleague. There was a rotting fence to hold but it was not very convincing.

After one close shave, a slip of six to seven inches resulting in me yelling loudly, ‘WOOOAAAHHHHH’, I made it to the bottom clutching on to a small tree that was bending in protest.

A ladder materialised before my eyes and a hole obviously made by high explosives. What else could create a hole like that, perhaps a Sledgehammer… but up there?

I went plodding up the ladder first, with @anidiotexplores holding it. How do I get through this fucking hole?

[Source] - @anidiotexplores

My legs don't stretch that much and I could only conclude that head first again was my only option. Well, why not? I was experienced by then after John Wyatt.

@anidiotexplores followed deftly climbing and somehow getting his legs through the gap. How I wish I had his elasticity.

…’ @anidiotexplores is thoroughly astonished, and gapes at the wonders within Astoria Bingo, it was all a little overwhelming’…

We were in some kind of filthy bathroom with no sinks. I was only relieved the sinks were not my landing spot. They were only one notch above arriving in the shitters.

We started to look around; there was evidence that it was a Bingo Hall. Perhaps all that effort would yield something of value, by means of images.

Someone had been trying to renovate 'Astoria Bingo' and had given up the cause.

Had it once been a small café to order from while you play bingo?

Slag Emos must die. 'Emo' is a dated term.

Lots of applications, with lots of personal details. Once upon a time, ‘Astoria Bingo’ had an audience.

More words, and not very good ones.

Some doors were barred inside, no going through there.

An office, ransacked and full of clutter. Maybe there would be something worth looking at?

Lots of membership forms and some of the applicants are quite young; if you can call born in 1980 that. Bingo has a reputation of bedraggled old women, who chain-smoke as the main gamblers.

Looking at the income, presumably, for one day I can see why 'Astoria Bingo' was struggling to make ends meet.

You can’t go in there, and smashing the windows is not going to make any difference.

The poor graffiti crew had already visited, probably when the side door was open.

What had it been before closure… The ticket hut?

The main section of 'Astoria Bingo' looked like it had been used as a 'grow'. The pipe you can see gives it away. @anidiotexplores mentioned to me on his previous visit there was a strong smell of Ganga.

More facts about the daily income from ‘Astoria Bingo’. They are not especially convincing.

I am not quite sure what this relates to. Drop a comment if you are a Bingo expert. I would love to know.

Could it be the poor exterior décor deterred even old ladies from visiting ‘Astoria Bingo’. The price seems cheap.

Lighting a fire inside would quickly fill the room with smoke. They were not cooking burgers on a grill.

Expect holes to appear if you try and burn the place down.

A diary from 2007; It says ‘Fire Book’ and is filled with non-sensical writings.

Anything of value has been ripped apart, probably long ago.

'Urbex Mike' – he's a 12-year-old boy who explores with his mum. I know of him.

‘Astoria Bingo’ was quite a short explore with little inside besides paperwork but a fun jaunt. It's bare inside, and I would expect it to be demolished at some point in time.

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