Slobberchops' Goth Classics - Let Me Be Your Monster!

Did you know this is only the second 'Slobberchops Goth Classics' in existence? I felt like writing a music post today, and as it's not Tuesday and @bozz gave me shit last time about it needing to be on that day..., it's down to this.

He will read this and think he's done something to upset me now, I know him.., but I am just giving him some unnecessary bullshit as usual 😀.

Americans are far too serious, maybe that's why at least some of them appreciated my quirky northern humour during my short stay in that county.

On to the music, cast your eyes outside. If it's sunny, warm and you're running down a hillside with bright yellow flowers, and the wind in your hair then don't listen to these fucking tunes.

Depression, anxiety, rain clouds, misery, gloominess and woe await. Goth music isn't supposed to be bright and cheery but is more likely to get you searching for some used razor blades to cut your wrists.

Twisted Mentality – Let Me Be Your Monster (Morgue EP – 2020)

Moving forward to the first song, which is by none other than ‘Razor, The Goth' – The Urban Explorer, who probably isn’t a Goth but some type of death metal hybrid character.

Several weeks ago, Razor posted a derpy shithole in Burnley of all places a town quite close to me. Being the crowned 'Derp King' by @grindle recently I couldn't figure out where it was, even though he was walking along a road while filming himself and it looked semi-familiar.

My efforts to contact Razor were in vain. He would not respond mistaking me for some loser who just wanted to know where some Time Capsule was. I was some loser who wanted to know where a derp was instead, and not being part of the Facebook 'Elite Class' I was a faceless nobody.

After an intervention from @lpff (who he has collaborated with), he did respond and hand over the derp, which is so far not written up and was in the 3/10 range, or E- if you are familiar with ancient school grading, in other words... pretty shit.

If you watch Razor's videos he uses the same intro which is 1 minute 15 seconds long before the real content starts. Within this time, his premier song, ‘Let Me Be Your Monster’ chugs away.

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...'exploring with Razor could be very productive, especially if he don's this gear while doing so; the Karen's would be terrified'...

An Urban Explorer who used to sing in his own band. Listen to it enough and it gets quite palatable, especially the guitar work before Razor starts screaming. I always respect people who write and play their own material, whatever it may be.

It’s highly unlikely Razor will ever see this, the insular nature of HIVE being what it is, but if we ever do meet or collaborate, I think he’s OK for what it’s worth.

A colourful character and an explorer who doesn’t give a shit about the quality of his explores. Derps are King!

Siouxsie and the Banshees – Dear Prudence (Nocturne – 1983)

As my band variety is not particularly wide in the genre, on the rare occasion I do post about this subject, the artists will likely be similar.

It’s also an excuse to have a dig at @nathen007 who for some reason detests Siouxsie but loves her advisory, the dangerous skinhead Hazel O'Conner who I always thought of as 'decidedly average' as well as terrifying.

...'seductive but dangerous, and no skinhead to be seen'...
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In 1980 I was amoured by Siouxsie, and the image but given the chance to meet her... that me would have shrivelled up and hidden..., my insecurities of a long-haired 70's dropout being one of many shortcomings.

Hazel was more like a vicious animal, snarling and spitting at everyone. Getting close to her vagina would be akin to the female spider devouring the male after fornication. Maybe she never got a shag in those ‘D-Days’, or did she leave a trail of male bodies in the gutter with severed cocks?

To add insult to this, I have been quite obsessed with 'The Beatles' of late, but much prefer the Siouxsie & The Banshees version of 'Dear Prudence'. Sorry John..., but your version is a little tame and lacks the bite, beat and even the sixties psychedelic elements added by Susan and the boys.

I do love a good wind-up.

The Mission – Dream On (Children – 1988)

I don't tend to like covers much, unless I happen to hear to cover before the original, which does happen. In the case of 'Dream On', most Americans would instantly recognise the Aerosmith tune, but in the UK this band were not particularly popular.

Now I am more than aware of Steven Tyler's band, his rubber lips a near image of Mick Jaggers' a decade before and am quite a fan.

With the release of 'The Missions' Children I zoned in on 'Dream On' loving the start-stop mechanics of Wayne's band and noting for a Goth band they tended to veer on the heavy side. I like my guitars.

If you are used to the Aerosmith version, this will probably make you wince.

Guitar Image - Source

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