"Mentality Monsters"
When we're young the best response we can come up with to being treated unfairly, or in an unjust manner by bullies or whoever is - I'll show you by being more successful than you'll ever be and maybe one day you'll have to come begging to me for help because of my excellence. That's all fine and everything - gives the extra bit of push, motivation to reach higher highs of your potential.
But it has its deteriorating effects.
If we hold grudges from school into our adult life, the rage starts to eat away at your peace. It is never healthy to let your actions be lead by your grudges from 10-15 years ago, even if it is to push you harder to excel. Yes, we should definitely try to excel in our respective fields, but not to rub it in someone else's face. That just beats the purpose of excellence.
I have had my fair share of, I wouldn't call it childhood trauma exactly - more of a disappointing discovery. It probably could have been trauma, but I have had to deal with jealousy from peers, sabotage and all that from a very early age. To the point that even having a public "hate group" to my name didn't really traumatize me. Just was disappointed, and maybe a bit sad that people I thought to be, if not friends, at least equal peers in terms of respect - and then for the to go behind my back and delve so low. I was still 14 after all! You can only have so much "nerve of steel" at that age!
And for a very long time I had that grudge in me - the urge to "show them" what's what. It didn't exactly weigh down on me, but as I started to mature I started to realized it was creating moments of insane rage and I used to go into sort of a trance, imagining the raw pleasure I'd gain when I finally got to "rub it in" their face. This in my humble opinion is one of the most driving reasons why people tend to hold on to those childhood grudges - the beckoning of that raw pleasure!
It is difficult to point out exactly how minimalism helped me deal with it, but it started when I did slowly start to set myself into a minimalist way of life. Once I started to feel comfortable in my own skin as a minimalist, it started to become obvious it doesn't really matter what they did to me as long as I am comfortable in my own skin. I know what's what and I am not going to let anyone tell me otherwise. And this mentality is what alleviates the anguish, reduces it down to only a pin-prick and nothing more. So it isn't minimalism directly that helps one deal with such, but the strength of the mentality one achieves via minimalism. In Jurgen Klopp's words, we become "Mentality Monsters!"
Yesssss. Who cares what people think and do if they aren't being decent and kind!
Glad you didn't let the opinion of other people define you 👍
That is exactly the right attitude. Once we embrace the reality that we can not control the actions of others, only how we react to it - that is when we can achieve peace of mind.
It's very liberating when you really integrate this concept 👍😊
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Interesting point there, and I agree with you.
Not many people share these views, especially to latter one:)
Thanks for your #KISS
I enjoyed it 😉
lips sealed
I have always been taught by my father that regardless of what you achieve or don't, your intention is what matters most. So even if we end up being successful, if our intention was to rub it in someone's face - that is just petty success. I didn't succeed for greatness. That theory got hammered into me from a very early age! 😄
This was food for thought.
It made me think of someone in particular and it makes me realise and understand just why the person is never genuinely happy... because their success was driven by that same need that you mentioned 😏
Well, there's that! I really do hope they find peace of mind, rage anchored deep down is never a nice load to carry. It's never too late to start letting go :)