Transient Chaos (or Always the beginning... )
(or... Always The Beginning)
~
Each passing gust
Claims another leaf
From the pages
of our history.
Red russeted and gold
One by one
Fluttering
Beautiful in their demise.
We clutch at withered dreams
dampened hope.
We scream.
Unable to prevent
The Fall.
Our buckets remain empty
Bar the tears.
Impotent
We are left
Watching the butterflies
Effect transient chaos.
The storm gathers
leaves
As memories
Decay at our feet.
The seasons cycle
Loss
Nurtures
New beginnings.
We watch,
Endure.
Question.
Is it truly better
to have loved?
And then...
A new leaf buds
And
We know.
And
We grow.
Life has an uncanny way of crashing into a foamy mess when we least expect it.
I tend to ebb and flow with my writing, taking time out as necessary. Sometimes life takes me to the breaking point, and at others, it is the perfect point break; a long and glorious wave meant to be ridden to its full.
I haven't truly written with any regularity or intent for a while. This time, my children took me away, as they do so often. We end up putting aside our own needs to ensure the security of theirs. Sometimes that can be a little overwhelming and sets us off spiraling until we emerge on the other side, a little more battle-scarred but always with gratitude. We take on so many roles in life; roles that require us to put others first. It's a constant juggle... and not always easy finding our way back to the one that satisfies the needs of the self.
In many ways, this poem is me dipping my toes in the waters again. When I'm struggling to put pen to paper or fingers to the keyboard, I eventually find myself reaching for a 5-minute prompt or indulging in a little poetry. Both connect me back to my creative side in different ways. The former disconnects me from structure and forces me to accept whatever flows, breaking down perceived barriers. The latter takes me deep and enables me to play with structure and language and get introspective. Both allow me to fall in love with writing all over again. As I write I have 5 other posts in draft, all at various stages of completion - but none anywhere near complete!
I find poetry very personal. You can try to hide behind its sometime obscurity, but it is still revealing of the soul. Perhaps that is why I am drawn to it.
Recently, I have felt in a state of flux again. Changes are afoot. Some seem positive but I can't say I'm enjoying them all. Once familiar patterns are changing. Once consistent beacons are no longer so. When I look back, I think I can see where the shifts occurred in the design. Where some things became irreversible. Sometimes I sit and grieve the loss of something that never really was and others I simply wish I had seen the anomaly in the matrix sooner. Life, huh!
The seasons will always change. It is by His design that they do. I think we reach a time in our life though, perhaps with maturity, with insight, when we understand that not all battles need to be fought, let alone won. We let go with grace the things that are no longer meant to be. If you love something, set it free. Right? And even though much will change as we age and grow in this life, I take heart in the fact that some things and people will remain, filling our buckets for a lifetime and beyond... eternally... and with them it will be...
Resources
Header image composite created in Canva Pro using the following three images:
Fall Leaves in Idyllic Landscape by winyuu
Falling Autumn Leaves by borchee
Infinity divider created using Canva Pro library.
Dreemport banner used with permission of @dreemsteem and @dreemport and designed by @jimramones
Hi @samsmith1971,
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Thank you @teamuksupport - this is always appreciated !LUV
There's not much more a poignant season than Autumn. It's so darn beautiful, but also a time of loss as we say goodbye to the vitality of summer and know that the winter darkness is going to wrap us tight in an icy cloak. I dn't know what it is you are going through, but poetry is a good way to work through stuff, isn't it? A beatiful, poignant poem!
I love the cathartic nature of poetry. I happen to think that all seasons have their place. I just don't always like that some things (and people) may turn out to be in our lives for only a season... when what we had hoped and believed was that they would be there for a lifetime. Of course, there are some things we are glad to see in the rearview mirror! (such as my son's SEN high school application that consumed the best part of our summer and left me with little headspace for Hive). But when we love people, when we connect with them, letting go emotionally can be hard, and then sometimes, just when you think, it's all over bar the singing... they pop up again... and we are forced to question where we now stand; whether our role in their life and theirs in ours, has changed. Perspective is a funny thing.
That sounds like an ominous shifting wind is blowing cool to cold shivers into your life? I’m not sure I like the sound of that wind! What’s up? Whatever it is please know that you have hundreds of peeps who adore and luv you 💕❤️💕❤️ Support is right here ❤️💕❤️💕❤️🤗🤗💕❤️❤️❤️💕🤗🤗
There is a sense of things drifting; something being lost between the lines of friendship. It triggers the memory of experienced loss and a real sense of more to come. You know the feeling when you perceive a need to protect your heart? That 😔 !LUV
This is so totally true, Sam. Life would be so much simpler if we understood that from the time we were young, but maybe if that were so it wouldn't be life, would it?
Hugs 😘
Hey, you! 🥰 Life indeed!!! It's a constant cycle of learning and unlearning, and timing. When we reach acceptance and let go, we are sometimes pleasantly surprised by the results. To move forward, we need to be prepared to resist the temptation to look back. The key to growth, under these circumstances, is being prepared to sacrifice what isn't feeding our soul, what no longer works for us, regardless of the outcome. Thank you for your insightful comment, Eli !LUV 💗
That's right, dear Sam. We have to learn to let go, and even though sometimes it's hard, we should not look back and erase all the what if's ;)
I hope you and yours are doing well despite the ups and downs that life gets us used to. 🤗😘
All good, thanks Eli. Big loves to you and your fam too 🥰
Thank you) in your words I found the answer to a relevant and important question for me)
hi, my friend. Sending much love. Happy if you managed to gain something from this exchange - I hope it was positive for you !Hug !LUV 🤗
I sent 1.0 HUG on behalf of @samsmith1971.
(1/3)
Hello @samsmith1971
This is @coquicoin and I'm part of the Silver Bloggers’ Community Team.
Thank you for sharing your excellent post in the Silver Bloggers community! As a special "token" of appreciation for this contribution to our community, it has been upvoted, reblogged and curated.
Thank you @coquicoin and the Silver Bloggers Community team. That is very kind of you. It makes me happy that you enjoyed my post !LUV !ALIVE
@hive-106316! You Are Alive so I just staked 0.1 $ALIVE to your account on behalf of @ samsmith1971. (3/10)
The tip has been paid for by the We Are Alive Tribe through the earnings on @alive.chat, feel free to swing by our daily chat any time you want, plus you can win Hive Power (2x 50 HP) and Alive Power (2x 500 AP) delegations (4 weeks), and Ecency Points (4x 50 EP), in our chat every day.
I think it always becomes clear at a later part of the journey that it is much better to flow with the flow than holding on to the structures that we've built over a lifetime. I prefer structure, because that's how I best function on but life always have a way of crumbling my structures and pushing me to flow with the flow. Sort of like a messy chaos in transition to ordered chaos.
I like this phraseology 🤗 Feels like it describes life's lack of predictability quite well. I try to flow as much as possible too. It's easier than constantly fighting against the currents. Hope you are well, Takhar. Thank you for taking the time to drop in !LUV
Rightly said, there's wisdom in going with the flow even though it may not be apparent to us where the currents will take us.
Yes, I'm very well, Sam. Hope you're too?
oh that was beautiful... and it made me think of a few things that are special to me!
I love this...sad and a bit melancholy & sentimental but seasons come round again...so there's hope of those little green buds popping out again hehehehe
change... it can be so amazing!!! but we always have this FEAR that we will be on the losing end, regretting that we gave it up
but I think when we dare to dreem...hehehe. and we take the leap... we find that was exactly how it was supposed to be
that we were being prepared for it!
that we actually KNEW deep inside that we were meant for it
and then, the peace
and then, the joy
and then, the love
and then time to grow and dreem again hehehe
#alwaysthebeginning
I'm kind of a sucker for beginnings....so I love that phrase Miss Sam!!!❤️
I'm glad you enjoyed it 🤗 Letting go means that we adjust our expectations, and protect our hearts in the process. And change can be very meaningful and intentional 🥰 Looking forward to more dreeming with you for many years to come 💗... and #alwaysthebeginning ... because you convinced me and because when it's right, that is how it feels !LUV
#dreemerforlife #alwaysthebeginning
They whoever they are ... say that... but really it is fluffing hard to do!
It is great to see you Sam, that's a fact, big hugs 🤗💙
Super hard!! Hey, Ed, my favourite mad Scot 🤗 It's good to be back - truly 💗 Thank you for the hugs - right back at you, buddy! !PIMP !LUV
#dreemerforlife
You must be killin' it out here!
@samsmith1971 just slapped you with 1.000 PIMP, @tengolotodo.
You earned 1.000 PIMP for the strong hand.
They're getting a workout and slapped 1/1 possible people today.
Read about some PIMP Shit or Look for the PIMP District
This is just it! It reveals the condition of the soul, its wants, its craving, and its passion! Expressing deeply more than writing long words. The melody determines how it flows from your heart to your head describing every atom of each feeling carefully!
And yes! Sometimes we just let them win because it reserves the energy that would be wasted. And these days too, personally for me, it takes me time to recharge my energy and get back to my feet. So why not reserve it rather than pour it on a thing that's not worth it.
Nice Poem Sam💖
You swept me off my feet!!
#dreemer #dreemport
This is such a beautiful comment, Cesca. It touched my heart. That's almost exactly how I feel about poetry 💗 You expressed it so perfectly. And yes, if we don't use wisdom to conserve our heart and our energy for the things that truly matter, we will spend our lives exhausted chasing after things that hold little value. !LUV !ALIVE !PIZZA
@cescajove! You Are Alive so I just staked 0.1 $ALIVE to your account on behalf of @ samsmith1971. (9/10)
The tip has been paid for by the We Are Alive Tribe through the earnings on @alive.chat, feel free to swing by our daily chat any time you want, plus you can win Hive Power (2x 50 HP) and Alive Power (2x 500 AP) delegations (4 weeks), and Ecency Points (4x 50 EP), in our chat every day.
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