Food for Thought: Peer Pressure 🍜🤔

The Inkwell Prompt

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We’ve all had those moments when we needed to make delicate decisions and ended victorious or things turned out the other way. Just like a goalkeeper about to save or concede a penalty, we sometimes don’t even have the time to think things through.

I remember having to fill out an admissions form for my preferred university. Back then, we had a desktop computer, and the internet source was a phone box, more like a cordless landline. Obviously, the internet wasn’t as advanced as now, and I never had the opportunity to see the form or even ask questions prior to filling it out. The page was timed, and among several other things I had to do, picking a university was the major challenge for me. “If the data finishes, you’ll have to find a way to get another one o!”, my brother shouted at me. Like a child forced to swallow an unpleasant meal, I had to choose the University of Ilorin—the only choice that caught my attention at that moment! I won’t call it a bad choice, but I know I would have done better if given more time. Afterwards, I had a better shot at making decisions in life, and I’ll share one of such experiences in this piece, Journey with me.

After completing my university education, in the final month of my service to my country, I started wondering what jobs to apply for. "I know I have prayed, and I believe I will get employed, but I also need to take some steps," were the thoughts running through my head. I was privileged to be a member of the NCCF (Nigerian Christian Corpers Fellowship), and my colleagues had always believed in getting independent from their parents after service. "I can’t imagine myself going back to my parents' house after service; after all they’ve spent on me, I’ll still go and inconvenience them, never!" said Wale, one of my friends at NCCF.

“I support Wale. I can’t imagine being dependent all over again. I want to be responsible and even get married soon, bro”, this is Tobi, another colleague of mine, seconding Wale’s point. As they took turns sharing their common views on being independent, I was lost in thought. “How will I even start? The budget, having to live with strangers, and having to pay for everything on my own—am I really ready for this?" I thought to myself. As if Tobi heard my thoughts, “I won’t go straight to a rented apartment after service, even though I’ll have a double allowance. I’ll live with my parents for a short time, then get a job and move.” I wasn’t paying attention to what led to that, but I knew Tobi’s statement answered the major questions in my head. “So, we’ll receive a double allowance?" I couldn’t believe what I heard. I was so happy, but I controlled my excitement.

My mother welcomed me with a big hug. It’s been a whole year since I stepped out of my father’s house for service, and due to the long distance, I couldn’t visit them all through the year. “These Ibo people fed you well o," my father taunted at me. “Do you now have one of them as your wife to be?" My mother asked with a suspicious look. “With all the activities and his roles at NCCF, he can’t have time for all that, or am I wrong?" My father directed the question to me with a look I interpreted as “it’s left to you to save yourself or shoot yourself in the leg!” I nodded in agreement with my father’s view. They helped with my bags, and I entered my room. I jumped on my bed, thinking about my discussion with my friends.

The first job suggested to me by my parents was a role in a bank, which I was not ready to even consider. As a youth, I wanted it to be my decision. Had I known better, I would have gone for it! After a few interviews, the first job I got was a teaching role in a secondary school. It got me some cash, in addition to the double NYSC (National Youth Service Corps) allowance, I was able to get an apartment.

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If I could go back in time, I would get that job with the bank and wouldn’t leave my parents' house that early. I got influenced by my friends’ words—the food for my thought! And I regretted it because both the job and the first apartment I ever got in my life were two experiences that almost took my sanity. My neighbors were extremely hostile and crazy, and the school where I worked still owed me some salaries to date!