Gavin and Stacey and Wallace and Gromit just weren't enough crap Xmas TV this year so we had a little dig on Netflix and stumbled across Carry-On, and a friend had said good things about it so we gave it ago.

It's awful and entertaining in equal measure, so full of holes but that doesn't matter because the movie clearly doesn't give a toss.

It's just a cheesy thriller-action- terror movie, I guess with a nod towards Die Hard given that the only thing Christmassy about it is that it's set on Xmas Eve....

Spoilers alert...

I mean I don't think knowing what's gonna happen really manages that much, it's the way the movie gets there that's entertaining!

The plot...

A team of evil professional criminals are fulfilling a contract for some arms manufacturers to smuggle some novichok onto a flight with a congresswoman who is opposed to increasing military spending.

The plan is to detonate the novichok bomb mid flight and kill a plane load of passengers.

Our hapless 'hero' character is on duty that night scanning the bags at check-in and is targeted by the evil criminals - he has to let the bag on or his pregnant girlfriend who also works at the airport will be killed.

The criminals tap into the airport camera system and deliver their instructions via an ear piece that's delivered to the check-in line by an accomplice (there are several members of this nefarious gang, headed up by one obvious main psycho bad guy.)

The setting for this extreme terror is X1. mas Eve at LAX airport. So if they can't get the goods on the plane the back up plan is to just detonate in the airport- so our hero has the choice of killing 250 or 10K people, novichok being an extremely toxic nerve agent.

There are several twists and turns as our hero tries and fails to raise the alarm without the terrorists knowing and he eventually has the aid of one lone LAPD detective who's on the ball enough to realise s few oddities may amount to a real threat but in the end it all comes good and only a few people die on the way!

Spot the flaws....

Don't get me wrong, it was a throughly enjoyable watch, it didn't care about the numerous holes, it was just cheese, but nonetheless there are several....

• Our hero spends a lot of time running around the airport for various reasons, this raises no suspicions at all.
• Our hero's metal detector detects a dangerous unknown liquid in the package he is blackmailed into turning and blind eye to and he lets it through, this isn't registered on any kind of central system.
• The staff are allowed to carry around and use their own personal mobiles why screening passengers at check-in, I am sure that isn't allowed!
• The Novichok bomb case takes an awful lot of bashing and comes to no harm... I mean maybe it could handle being thrown and dropped several feet but I dunno...?
• How do the evil criminals kill a couple of people with a nerve toxin without themselves getting infected...?
• Our arch criminal finally ends up dying by the case of nerve toxin breaking in a vacuum sealed container in the cargo hold mid-flight.
• With the nerve toxin in said vacuum hold all the passengers are just let off, no worries.
• Our hero's cop ally is way to blasse to be realistic, she lets the plane take off with the nerve toxin, the airport agree to this, depsite the fact she's just turned up out of the blue, the plane takes off to give our hero a chance to defuse the bomb.
• At the end of it our hero is forgiven, and is now a police officer, his lifelong dream, despite having let through a deadly nerve agent rather than alerting the authorities in the correct way.
• This guy was literally willing to risk the lives of 10K people to save his girlfriend, all is forgiven, he needs no therapy at the end, everything is fine.
• Somehow a guy with a full-on sniper rifle is able to drive around the ariport carpark shooting at people with no one noticing.
• Basically there are so many red flags so early on the whole airport would have been locked down about 30 minutes into the move. End of story.

Final thoughts...

But it's still a fun old romp and an enjoyable watch, have fun!

Go on, I know you can't resist it, and I've left a few other flaws for you to spot!

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