What True Respect Means
In my culture, they say kneeling to greet an elder isn't a sign of good character, it must be shown in your actions. This is because most people fake their character in public while they are something else in private. This statement reflects a key aspect of respect especially within societies that place high regard/value on gestures and traditions.
While kneeling to greet elders has been one cultural practice that has been on for a longer time in most parts of the world, it is just a layer of what respect looks like. It is easy for a person to confuse such an outward demonstration for genuine respect, but the truth is that respect lies within how we treat others, especially in areas where we have to remove cultural rituals or practices away from it.
To me, respect goes beyond just the normal and usual gestures and greetings. It is about understanding the dignity of every human being and treating them with kindness, sincerity, consideration, and empathy, not with contempt. It is about giving regards to people we come across with, relate with and have things in common with, irrespective of who they are, their age or their position in society.
When we respect someone, we acknowledge their presence, value their opinions, and understand their efforts and where they are coming from through their perspectives. This can be seen in the way we listen attentively with an undivided mind and even how we respect their boundaries.
Another way to view respect is acknowledging that everyone deserves to be treated with dignity, equality, decency, and fairness, not because of their age, status, or title, but because they are also human beings with feelings just like us. I believe it is when we treat the other person as we want to be treated that brings about respect.
There is one thing I dislike, and it is when my opinions are dismissed without consideration. I feel disrespected in this way, not because someone didn't greet me properly or follow social etiquette, it's like devaluing my presence and not fairly treating me. This made me realise that for many people, disrespect is more about how they are made to feel invisible or irrelevant rather than whether someone bowed, knelt or used formal titles.
Seriously, if you have been in a situation where your points became meaningless while someone else's own were given high consideration because of how they are seen or given regard to, you will realise that it isn't the lack of gestures that hurt, but the lack of acknowledgement for you. Respect is far more about presence than fake formalities.
Another way we can view respect is by being present in conversations and not wasting the other person's time. It is about understanding that everyone has a busy schedule and creating time to be with you means you have to reciprocate back with you being available and not keeping them waiting. It's about respecting and appreciating their opinions and perspectives even when they differ from your own.
Aside from being in such a situation where my opinions have been trashed away, I have found myself in a disrespectful manner unknowingly. Maybe I was so absorbed in my own thoughts that I failed to give regard to someone else's opinions making me not listen attentively or dismiss their feelings in a rush to get my point across. In retrospect, those moments taught me a great lesson about the importance of being mindful in my interactions with other people so I don't hurt their feelings.
I realised that respect isn't a passive trait. It requires one's effort and being intentional about their actions. It's about creating time and choosing to engage with people in the most meaningful way even when you don't necessarily understand their perspectives or agree with them.
In a cultural setting, we must understand that respect varies. Respect doesn't look the same way for everyone. For some, they believe that respect is when you address them using titles or honorifics, while others view respect in how you listen and respond to them. When we understand this, it would be easier to move from surface-level politeness to a more genuine form of respect.
To wrap this post up, it is essential to recognize that respect is reciprocal. The way you treat others is the same way you will be treated. True respect lies in the way we give value to other people, make them feel seen and heard, treat them and care for them in meaningful ways, and not show disregard or contempt for anyone.
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Thanks for your time reading. Looking forward to your interaction.
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I like that you have different definitions of respect, and I definitely agree with respect meaning different things for diffeent people.
A few weeks ago, I was at this event and one of the panelists was talking about values. He talked about how perspective and empathy was important if we want to truly understand and get along with people. Basically that if you didn't know how someone defines a certain value, you wouldn't know how to relate with them because your understanding might be different from theirs.
To him, respect meant not wasting his time. He is a very busy person, so he felt like the one way you could disrespect him was to either to show up late when you have plans with him, or to not show up at all, because you would've misused time that he could've used for a lot of other things.
This is very right. If you want to get along with someone and understand them truly, learn to think in their own direction, focus on knowing where they are coming from, in the aspect of experiences and perspectives because truth is, we all have different ways we view things.
It's just like when a lecturer arrives the hall before the students, it makes him or her disrespectful which means they don't value his time. So, respect goes a long way to mean just the formalities but with how we treat other people.
Thank you for your input 😊
Respect is not in actions at all rather it is how you put it. You really did justice to this topic and I admire the fact that you also have this mindset. This goes to prove that there are still pikin with sense 😁
Most people don't regard others but they demand to be respected and me I'm like "for what na". Some will size you up to see if you are older in age, high in status or whatever, before that can respect you. It is so frustrating and wicked.
Every life has dignity and should be treated kindly and considerately.
This was a post worth reading.... thanks for sharing 👍
Yes oo. We still get pikin with sense 😁
Respect isn't with actions like kneeling or hailing someone, it must be done with intentionality and with the fact that putting one's opinion in high regard is what sums up respect. Everyone should be treated fairly and with dignity and not discarding them as if they aren't worth it.
Thank you, sis for your lovely comment. 😍
You're welcome and it is my pleasure
We have confused ourselves or should I say mistaken kneeling down or even greeting itself as respect. It’s really sad how we don’t get the bigger picture. Just as you said, respect comes in different forms. I had to pause at some point to digest what you saying and then I remembered something. Some days ago, I found out that there’s a way to listen to someone to show you respect the person. Meaning there’s even more than I probably have no idea. Interesting.
Many times, I will tell people, too, that kneeling down isn't respect but how you treat other people especially in kindness and with dignity.
Yes, the way you pay rapt attention to someone while they are talking to you means you give them that high regard they deserve. This is why many people love an undivided attention when they are talking to you.